Colleen Christensen: The Worst Dietician on Earth @Colleen Christensen

Watch on YouTube · 2024-11-01 · 26 min

0:00 Hi guys, as requested by some of you, I'm going to be reviewing a video by Colleen Christensen. Hey, she almost has the same last name as me.

0:12 She promotes intuitive eating. We'll see if that's true.

[video] 0:17 Hello and welcome to a new video, friends. We are actually doing some...

0:23 Wow, she seems like she's full of joy. It must be working. Where she's acting? It's one or the other. Maybe we will figure out which one it is.

[video] 0:35 Thing in this one that we have not done before. I am actually filming this portion of the video after I have filmed everything else. So it's a little bit crazy. And I just documented some of the things that I was snacking on. So this is a sort of like a full week of snacks kind of thing. I talk about what I ate, why I chose it, kind of like the situation that was going on. I hope to just kind of give you guys some ideas for different snacks. I had a variety. And like I said, also kind of explain like the why behind choosing some of them because it depends. Now, this isn't necessarily everything that I snapped on.

1:10 You can see that she has under eye bags. For sure also dark eye circles. Maybe there's makeup over them. It's hard to say. There's definitely some makeup on her face. She's 32 by the way.

1:26 It's just funny because she looks way older. The condition of her skin is not good.

1:35 It's interesting that people like this are dietitians nowadays.

[video] 1:40 It's very clear that she's not eating enough animal fat, collagen, really animal protein altogether. She's just deficient, she's malnourished.

[video] 2:05 Sometimes it looks like, yes, making a recipe or something like that, but sometimes it just means having a variety of bars. So when it comes to planning snacks, like I said, I personally don't, but that doesn't mean that's the right...

2:16 It's not normal to have that many wrinkles everywhere at the age of 32. If anything, it should come in your 50s, 60s.

2:27 If at all, like that. Her skin is depleted, it's not even normal. Even with age, I'm not even sure.

[video] 2:35 ...way to do it, or that planning snacks is something you shouldn't do. For example, if you are someone who tends to get overly hungry when mealtime comes around and you either...

2:44 I think that the only thing that a woman especially should ask herself if you watch her videos is, do you want to look like her at the age of 32? If it's no, then why do you take her advice?

[video] 3:01 We'll just see what she eats.

3:10 Turkey breast for protein, because that's the only reason you eat meat, right? And it's breast, which means that there is no fat. Or is it just some processed food anyway? I can't really tell. Processed meat, maybe? If not, anyway. It doesn't have fat, it's just some lean meat. And this is the problem with dieticians today, anybody who learns anything about nutrition, which they don't really, it's that they think that you eat meat because of protein. That's basically it, even though meat has every nutrient. Okay, alright, I wasn't expecting really any fat at all, just because of the condition of her skin. For some crunch and some fiber, yes, because you need fiber, because you need something indigestible in your body. The apples of today are so unnatural.

4:06 Sometimes they sit for a year or two before you even consume them. They've been cultivated to the point where they are unrecognizable. I never eat apples, but that's also because I never liked them anyway.

[video] 4:20 The main driver here is I needed something filling. This is a couple of different macronutrients and it just sounds delicious.

4:27 Yeah. It's different macronutrients. Okay. Yeah. Protein, fat and carbs. That's true. What about the micronutrients? You're eating pasteurized cheese, you're gonna cook the turkey. And the apple, what does it have? Sugar only, probably.

[video] 4:46 You got a lot... We're checking a lot of boxes here, let me show you what I'm gonna do. So I'm going to...

4:51 I think that you're checking... No boxes, really, realistically.

[video] 4:56 Ah, yeah, okay, so it's some kind of processed meat, that kind of a turkey breast.

5:11 That's not gonna have anything in there anymore, micronutrient-wise. Actually, she was right. She is eating the meat for the protein, because there is nothing else in there.

[video] 5:23 At least she has the cheese there. Maybe it has something left, obviously not much, because of the pasteurization. It could be worse.

5:46 It could also be a lot better, though.

[video] 5:48 Again, they're filling. We have a variety of macronutrients here. And they're really, really easy. All right, guys, we have got one of my favorite snacks here. I'm also balancing you on my coffee cup. So I'm crouched down a little.

6:03 I just can't take her seriously. She has way too aged skin. And I don't say this to offend her in any way, really. It's just purely my observation, obviously. Because she is a dietician and it seems like she's preaching or trying to preach health.

[video] 6:24 But these freeze-dried apples and Costco drippy peanut butter is my favorite one. It's about like mid-morning right now.

6:31 Well, no, you promote intuitive eating, right? Which means that you should be eating animal fat. You should get cheese, ideally raw cheese, if anything, if any dairy anyway, raw dairy. And you should eat a lot of that, ideally, of course, other animal fat, especially brain, but clearly a dietician is never going to eat natural food. If you have peanut butter cravings, you really only have animal fed cravings. It's really nothing else.

7:03 She should know that if she is into food.

[video] 7:08 I am just needing a little something something to get me through. I have a little bit more.

7:12 What something something? You need animal foods, ideally raw. You're nutrient deficient, it's clear. That's why you don't talk about micronutrients. You probably don't understand anything about them. You're eating peanut butter with lectins, phytic acid, it all disrupts your gut, rubs you from minerals, aflatoxins also have been found in peanut butter. And it's such a huge jar also, meaning that she probably eats it very often.

7:47 By the way, peanuts are not even a nut as such, it's a legume.

[video] 7:52 So you're eating legume butter.

8:04 Doesn't matter, at least you eat with your hands, that's all cool and fine, but you're eating out of plastic, some kind of seed sludge and... Frozen apples, what?

8:18 Typical vegan movements. She's not vegan, but she seems as malnourished as vegans.

[video] 8:27 I like these better than fresh apples. It depends on the day, but I really like the

8:39 The color of your skin doesn't look healthy. You look pale. I don't know if it's the lighting or if it's kind of red and flamed. Here's a kind of eczema. Yeah, right? You're kind of like...

[video] 8:59 I really like the crispness of these. I don't know if you can hear that, but... But what's this, guys? I have... I buy a few bags of these every week. I have them here. I have them stocked at the office. We got some.

9:16 So you're just snacking on sugar all the time. That's really all that it is. Frozen sugar. Yeah, cool. Might as well be eating candy or whatever. It's the same.

[video] 9:27 A little bit of fiber in here. Honestly, not a ton. They're kind of just... That's good.

9:32 You don't want fiber.

[video] 9:34 A delicious vehicle for the peanut butter. Peanut butter is done. I always say peanut butter is efficient too because it's got, it's pretty, I'm sorry for talking with my mouth open, pretty nutrient dense, meaning it's going to give your body a decent amount of energy. Calories are not bad.

9:51 Nutrient dense. What? I know that she means macronutrients, but still, even so, it just says a lot of legume oils, which will obviously cause inflammation in the body. It has to, because you're eating a lot of omega-6s. Inflammation is just your body's response to it. Nothing bad as such. It's just a bad sign if you have the inflammation. Especially when it's caused by food and you know that you're eating the wrong food.

[video] 10:27 It's got a little bit of fat, a little bit of protein.

10:30 It has legume oils, mate. What is this? What fat?

[video] 10:38 Delicious.

[video] 10:43 All right, we are racing around this morning. I am packing up and heading to the office. I have my breakfast packed, but as I was reheating my coffee, I was hungry and I'm going to need a little something before I get to the office. I don't have time to eat.

10:57 Imagine if we didn't have makeup nowadays. Imagine if we would see what these horrible diets do to people, especially her. You would clearly see the under eye bags, how exhausted and tired she is. You would see the dark eye circles. She probably has pale lips because of anemia and also probably some skin issues, which you maybe can't see. She also looked pale in the other clip, which is why she probably had the cap on to have the shade over her face. Now she's of course covered in makeup. Imagine. Then it would be much easier to see through these people. Not that many people would fall for these dietitians. Wait, what the fuck is going on here?

11:51 I didn't even see that... She's not gonna eat some cereal or whatever. What? Free wishes? What free wishes? Heart disease or stroke and diabetes?

[video] 12:05 Some handfuls of this, Three Wishes cereal, they sent some to me. The gingerbread flavor is pretty good. Sometimes snacks, guys, sorry, this clip is all over the place. Sometimes snacks are literally just what you can grab and they're nothing fancy and that's okay. All right, I am gonna go for a run this morning. So I'm making myself a little bit of a snack.

12:26 Oh my God, you need animal fat. Oh my God, what are you doing to yourself? You're obsessed with peanut butter because you're obsessed with fat, which she doesn't have. Someone's waiting for the... Oh, she has dogs also. It's over.

[video] 12:44 That's it. So we have just some toast. I like to use yogurt because guess what, guys? It's going to hold all the bananas on it.

12:53 If it's fatty yogurt, but again, it's pasteurized. You destroy over 90% of what's in the milk anyway.

[video] 13:00 Yogurt is a base and then honestly this banana is on its last leg, but we are gonna put some peanut butter on top for a nice little drizzle.

13:10 I think I'm actually... What a horrible diet. You have the grain sludge below. And it's baked also, even more on top of that. Maybe some more carcinogens were created. Again, the peanut butter, already explained why it's bad. Pasteurized yogurt is just garbage, really. Maybe it has some absorbable animal fat left, maybe even some micronutrients. Really, the amount is probably negligible. And then bananas, just some more sugar and fiber. What is this joke?

[video] 13:48 I'm gonna grab... Cinnamon. A little bit of cinnamon. I knew it!

13:55 That sounds good, just for a little... No, it doesn't sound good. Oh my god, you're all the same. A little bit of a...

[video] 14:02 Okay, let's see if I can do this and not pour the whole thing on with you guys. Oh, not damn too bad.

14:09 Oh my god, man. This stuff is super toxic. How do you not get it? If you would swallow all of it... Bye-bye. 911, where's the ambulance?

[video] 14:22 I have no idea what this is. Oh, popcorn. Man, what is this stuff? She lives in the US, right?

14:49 All this junk food, this non-food stuff that they created for the slaves.

14:56 It's not that different in Europe, but we don't have fiddle faddles, whatever the fuck that is. And they just create food out of any junk, just any leftovers, any throwaways. Wow, crazy. And then the slaves consume it. That's the best part. It would be one thing if they would create food and then they would laugh at it, but no, they actually eat it. Like it's actual food. And then you have dieticians making videos, promoting it, calling it intuitive eating.

15:32 What in your intuition, your natural senses tells you to eat it? How do you see that as food?

[video] 15:40 They're all based off just what sounded good. Did not think about nutrition. This is what I call more soul nourishing.

15:46 And then I... Oh my god. I'm done. I'm done. Soul nourishing. I mean, come on.

15:55 Fiddle fiddles. Soul nourishing food.

[video] 16:00 Really wanted regular Junior Mints, but they only had these caramel ones, which I gambled with and they were actually pretty good. And then my husband's choice was these Goobers. I actually didn't have any of these.

16:08 Goobers, fiddle fiddles. What the fuck is going on in the US, man?

[video] 16:11 Not really a chocolate covered peanut fan. Ate without guilt and to comfortable fullness level.

16:19 Again, the cap, come on. Realistically, does anybody actually wear a cap inside of the house? Just walking around? If you film a vlog, except if you were outside or anything, why would you do that? And especially the thing, I don't know what you call it, the cap thing in the front, to have the shade over the face. There's just no way. She knows she has to film, which is why she puts it on. It's just the only explanation.

16:50 I think that she knows that you can't really see the tiredness then as good.

16:59 Yeah, a bit lower. Maybe they see it.

[video] 17:02 Painting get up here. I am going to grab a protein bar. What flavor do I want?

17:09 Fiddle faddle or gobble flavor.

[video] 17:11 Let's go salted caramel. I'm gonna have a just quick batch. Really good choice, nice. Bar, something super easy, that's the name of the game. Something that's gonna have a little bit of nourishment to keep me fueled.

17:27 Yeah, totally, totally has nourishment. Great. Can I book a consultation with this genius dietitian somewhere? I would pay top dollar for this. Maybe I will learn that there's other Flavors of fiddle faddles and gubbers.

[video] 17:46 About these errands that I'm gonna run. So I'm gonna have one of these Bilt Bars. These are one of the two protein bars that I really...

17:54 It is going to build something. Atherosclerosis. Your arteries will be calcified.

[video] 18:02 Like, let me, let's sit down for a hot sec here. I have a convenient Amazon package I can touch on. Okay, so I'm gonna have one of these salted caramel Bilt Bars. Nah, man, she just doesn't look right. This is just so wrong. The video started off okay-ish, but it just went downhill completely.

18:39 This is just junk food eating. It's like some high school teenager who has no idea what they are doing. What the fuck is going on with today's dietitians?

[video] 18:52 Let's see if we can... You see that?

[video] 19:01 They're quite chewy where they can be a little bit... Some people don't like it.

19:07 Look at your dark eye circles and the under eye bags, man.

19:15 Is everybody blind? No, actually they are not. I think that this video has like over 200 likes. And she has like over 600,000 subscribers. Clearly, people are not taking her seriously. Thankfully.

[video] 19:28 I do.

19:34 Her hands are also very skinny age. It's completely... This is wrong. Oh my god, man. This is one of the worst diets.

[video] 19:49 You notice I store these in the fridge? I just like them chilled.

19:54 Yeah, you want cold stuff all of the time because you're probably anemic.

[video] 20:01 Some people eat them warm.

[video] 20:07 I think they're tasty as heck.

20:11 How does it matter if it's tasty if it's man-made food? If you promote intuitive eating, then you should only be eating natural food anyway. And from this natural food, you need to pick out what tastes the best. That's it. Of course, what's natural for your body tastes the best anyway. But if you look at what's available in nature, so to speak, It's just so simple. You just know it. Most populations on Earth who live in nature say that brain is the best tasting food. Most people on Earth who live naturally prefer eating brain. That's understandable because it really is one of the best tasting foods on Earth. You're eating some caramel salted chocolate bar.

21:09 It's just dumb.

[video] 21:11 I do think I still have a code for these. I'll double check. I think it's NoFoodRolls10 for 10% off.

[video] 21:19 Caramel.

[video] 21:22 But my favorite. Cream.

[video] 21:30 Almond Joy is also a good one. Sorry. Coconut. Because it tastes like Almond Joy. And the texture is there too. Okay.

[video] 21:39 Oh my god, man.

21:47 I just keep looking at her hands. Actually, let me go back and pause it in case you didn't see it. You can see that her body fat is too low, the veins are popping out, the color is also off. The bones are just sticking out. It just doesn't look like the hands of a 30-something year old.

[video] 22:08 As I was preparing lunch, I saw this in the fridge. It sounded good, so I actually ate this as I was making my lunch. Alright, about to finish off the work day, and I need a little bit of a snack. So I'm gonna have one of these other protein bars. So I get these from Costco, they're- Oh, what is wrong with you?

22:26 Why do you not eat any meat whatsoever except for the processed turkey breast? Which was garbage, really. She doesn't even eat any eggs, she just eats some protein bars, just some kind of chocolate bars, caramel bars, noodles, bread.

[video] 22:51 Yeah, she just literally talks about macronutrients the whole time. There's no micronutrients in this whatsoever, you do get it, right?

[video] 23:10 Yeah, it wasn't smart Oh, you got it

[video] 23:29 It depends on what you're needing in the moment, but this is my other go-to.

23:32 What do you mean? What can you need in the moment from this garbage?

[video] 23:36 Alright guys, I hope that was helpful, perhaps.

23:42 Yes, it's helpful for women especially to know that you should never eat any of this and that nobody should take your advice. Yes, in that sense, yes. Because nobody wants to be as unhealthy as you.

24:01 You could call it entertaining, probably not in the way you want it to be.

24:09 She actually looks unhealthier than a lot of vegans, which are 32. She really destroyed her life. And I say life, because if your body is that destroyed, then your life is destroyed. You only have this one body.

24:29 You can't feel happy or healthy in this kind of a body.

24:36 What a nightmare. Because she actually promotes this and then other people watch her and learn from her. As if this is intuitive eating. Intuitive eating has to be you being completely... connected to your senses, as in you absolutely intuitively know because of your instinct what you're supposed to eat. And when you see a freaking brown sludge bar, some protein whatever bar, then it doesn't look like food anyway. So you throw that away, because you know that it's not food. That's what you would do if you would follow your intuition. And then... Even if you look at the grain sludge, the noodles and everything else that I saw, you again, you throw it away, because it's not food. Because it doesn't look like food, it doesn't taste like food, it tastes horrible. It only tastes good because you put some cheese sauce over it, but the noodles alone smell and taste like death.

25:36 Again, you throw it away. You just know it because of your intuition. Okay, so that's gone. Now, what do you eat? Only what's found in nature. Okay, that's clear then. Raw meat, some wild fruits, maybe some honey here and there. That's it. You just find animals and fruits. Can be sea animals, can be land animals, whatever. That's pretty much it. Maybe you can get some juice out of a tree or whatever for survival. People have tried to survive in different climates in many different ways. But everybody always ends up eating animals. And then you simply taste the parts of the animal which taste the best. And as I said, people always report the same foods as the best ones. Which is firstly brain. They love blood.

26:34 They eat liver, the bone marrow. That's what all of them love. And you're eating none of that. And you look exactly like that. You look like somebody who is not eating intuitively. That's exactly the problem. You're basically doing the opposite of what you're promoting. Thank you for watching!