Eva zu Beck: 320 Miles of Torture for Absolutely no Reason @Eva zu Beck

Watch on YouTube · 2025-09-16 · 41 min

0:00 hey guys as requested i'm gonna be reviewing a video called i did a brutal in capitals 320 mile race in the arctic by eva zubek

[video] 0:19 This is the starting line of the Lapland Arctic Ultra. One of the coldest, most grueling foot races in the world. And yes, I signed up to do it. I'm honestly feeling like I'm in... Why?

0:34 Give us a reason. You're feeling like what? Let's see. How does she feel?

[video] 0:39 A bit of a daze. I think I just gotta go for it. The distance I'm...

0:43 a bit of a daze, but let's just go for it. That makes sense.

[video] 0:47 Yes, if you're actually conscious of what you're doing, why you're doing it. In this case, you would learn that you

1:10 cannot stand something about your life, you are lost, you feel as if your life has no meaning, you're self-destructive, something along those lines. I don't know anything about her. I looked her up before I started the video. From what I read, she used to be married, got divorced, it just somehow broke apart. And then she started doing these races and all of this strange traveling. It seems like she wanted to feel powerful, prove that she can survive alone without a man.

1:54 kind of the typical outcome this happens oftentimes if your dreams break apart you wanted to have a family but it didn't work out and here she is now essentially torturing herself we'll see how it actually is i've never heard of this race efficient race i'll be facing ice and snow and freezing cold Yes, everything that every animal on this earth naturally tries to avoid. So you will be doing the opposite of human nature, the opposite of what your intuition tells you.

[video] 2:32 Wow.

2:36 Yes, and when you're tired and you cry, you should stop.

[video] 2:44 The danger of hypothermia and frostbite... Cold. I'm cold. ..exhaustion, sleep deprivation and challenges I could not foresee. So close to the finish, but I don't know if I can do it.

2:57 I hate this. You hate it. Oh my God, exactly. You hate it. Then why do you do it if you hate it? If an animal hates something, they don't do it. Even if an animal is nervous before doing something or anything like that, they don't do it. You're doing the opposite of what your intuition tells you.

3:23 If anything, you should learn from these races that you're self-destructive, and then you should question yourself, if that's possible, reflect on your life, and find out why you're self-destructive.

[video] 3:36 Like, if I have a resounding memory that brings a little bit of fear, it's just conquering the tiredness that you will feel, you know you're gonna feel. It's gonna be only for strong people.

[video] 3:51 I can already tell you that out of the 12 people who stood on the starting line of the full distance, only 8 finished.

3:57 Only 12 people. That's good. I'm glad to hear the number. That means that not that many people are insane enough to do it.

[video] 4:07 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, go!

4:16 Yeah, just lost people, really depressed people, thinking that they are proving something to somebody, getting some attention at last, some validation. Completely empty people. Yeah.

[video] 4:40 Yeah, I think my strategy right now is to just go quite fast while I have the energy, while I'm in a good mood, you know? Just gonna try and make as much progress as I possibly and humanly can on day one.

4:52 She says, while I'm in a good mood, implying that she knows that her mood is gonna change. That she knows that she's doing something that's bad for her.

[video] 5:03 One, and then see where we go from there. I've been here before, on the starting line of this very race. Last year I attempted it for the first time. Three days in, I quit.

5:13 And over the last year- Wait, it goes over days? Wait, what? Wait, what? Huh?

[video] 5:22 I've been obsessing about coming back and finishing the thing. So I'm here to redeem myself, I guess. For the last 45 minutes or so, I've been holding myself up this mountain towards the first checkpoint. Oh, my God. This is exhausting. With a really fully loaded sled.

5:43 Yeah, and a normal human being stops what they are doing if it's exhausting. Every animal is like that, except of course if you're doing it for survival. If you're defending yourself, it doesn't matter how exhausting it is because you're trying to survive. It's all about survival. That's what your life is essentially about, about living as long as possible if you're happy. If you're depressed, unhappy, then you self-destruct, which is what we are seeing here. That's why she's doing that. Just trying to explain it to you in case you don't get it. And if you're trying to get food, again, survive, because you need it, of course, to live, then it may also be exhausting, but you would do it to survive.

6:33 So only in a survival situation, animals actually exhaust themselves, because they need it to live. In this case, completely useless, pointless. no animal exhausts themselves except if they have to that's what they believe and usually that's really the case they understand with their senses that it's a survival situation so exhaustion is then fine it's not fine as such it's still bad for you creates dark eye circles and so on but it's necessary this is the most unnecessary thing on Earth None of this should be done. There's no need for it. You're not doing anybody a favor. There's no benefits to it. You're only reducing your lifespan, destroying your health, creating more wrinkles, dark eye circles. There's only bad things that can come out of this.

[video] 7:31 This is so draining. I'm just gonna keep putting one foot in front of the other.

7:41 I'm putting one foot in front of the other, but why am I doing it? With every step you would be thinking, why? What went wrong? Is it because I have no family, it didn't work out? Who am I trying to impress? What am I trying to prove to myself or to other people that I can be a strong woman? That I can do everything on my own? What is it that I'm trying to do? Would I rather be here in the cold pulling the sledge with stuff on it? Or would I rather be with my family in comfort at home in the warmth with my children running around? They would be saying, mommy, mommy, look what I drew. And they would hug you. Yeah.

8:35 What's better? It's just clear what's going on.

[video] 8:41 Just made it to the checkpoint. Josh isn't here yet with his camera. Oh, he's just arrived. Can't believe I made it here before you. This is the first checkpoint of the entire race. It's about 37 kilometers in. And we need to get, like, a medical check, so we're going to take a look at our feet, make sure we don't have frostbite or anything, and we're going to get some food and some hot drinks. You warming up? Yeah. Perfect. All good? All good.

[video] 9:06 So my check is done, I've had my food, I've had my hot drinks, I've had three hot chocolates, so I think I'm ready to get going.

9:12 Hot chocolate, the warmth, because you want to be warm, inside there it was a lot nicer, and of course also because of the caffeine, just some body adrenaline... adrenaline... is that even a word? I don't know.

[video] 9:30 I don't really know how far I'll get today. I'm gonna try and get as far as I possibly can. It's getting darker, and I think in the next half an hour, it'll be completely pitch black, so I'm gonna wanna get going. Set off into the night!

9:43 A normal human being doesn't go out at night. And now she's gonna walk through the forest. Yeah, cool. Have fun. As if that was possible. It's gonna be the opposite of fun, obviously.

10:01 If you could at least see some northern lights there, that would be something. I've seen them in real life. They are pretty beautiful. It's pretty magical. And it does look beautiful. Don't get me wrong. It's just that nobody actually wants to spend hours walking through the snow there, let alone at night.

[video] 10:28 Okay, let's zoom out for a second. This is the battleground.

10:33 320 miles of battleground. Again, just admitting that it's a battle, that it's bad.

[video] 10:39 515 K 12,000 feet of elevation gain. Over the next 10 days, my mission will be to complete these two giant loops.

10:48 Well, it's not your mission. You were essentially brainwashed to do that. Where did you get this idea? It's just some humans who made up this map, this route, and now you're following it, believing that you're on some kind of a mission, your mind has been manipulated.

[video] 11:07 And one massive journey across the Swedish Arctic. Along the trail, I'll have to pass my race checkpoints, but it's up to me how fast or how slow I go every single day, as long as I make it to the finish line before the 10-day cutoff. On day one, I covered 41 miles.

[video] 11:26 It's time for me to get some rest, get some sleep for the night. The last couple of hours I've been seeing things on the trail, like my mind has really been playing tricks on me. I've been seeing dogs everywhere. I think that means I need to get some sleep. So this is where I'm going to stay tonight.

11:51 she was hallucinating because of sleep deprivation it's just generally very destructive you could go nuts because of this it's just so exhausting

[video] 12:23 So why? Why continue if you're in pain and tired and cold? As much as I've tried over the years to articulate a smart and logical reason for why we do things like this, I'm not sure you can really explain it with words. I think we do these things because we want to feel.

12:41 We want to feel. Okay, it's fair to say that it's not exactly possible to express your feelings with the words. We do our best, but I think that it's also not that hard. You can approximately do that. We have so many words nowadays. You are clearly very lost. That's for sure. That's a good word. Really lost in life. no aim no meaning really unfulfilled those are good words to describe it i think that most people get it you want to feel to the extreme feel the full spectrum of human aliveness within us But that's not aliveness whatsoever. That's the opposite. That's kind of death. It's a lot closer to death than to being alive. Alive would be in the warmth, in comfort, in the sun. You're kind of in the sun, but can you even feel it? You have tons of clothes on because of how cold it is.

13:41 You can hardly really count it. Although the snow reflection makes the sun even stronger, that's something I suppose, and if you're with your children, a big family, eating raw meat, hunting down animals, drinking their blood, being a natural human, then you feel alive. If this is alive, you're kind of on the opposite side, really close to severe depression and misery, closer to death, really. And these kind of races can actually be deadly.

[video] 14:18 Is chasing a feeling a good reason to risk your life and health and spend 10 days pulling a sled through the snow? Hmm.

14:25 Well, no, because the feeling that you're chasing is something that you're never going to get. You're looking for fulfillment in your life. You can't get that by doing a man-made race. The race doesn't even exist. The race is all in your head completely. There is no race going on there. It's a bunch of people, as I said, who just... drew a path on a map and now you're imagining that you're following some path. It's like country borders. You would think that you go even further and you enter Finland or Norway. No, you never will. Because Norway, Finland and Sweden are countries that don't exist. There are no such things. It's man-made borders and humans imagine that there's borders. It's all in your imagination. The problem really overall is that you're not living in reality.

[video] 15:18 Yeah, I'd say that's what life is all about.

15:25 The opposite conclusion that you should come to. Yeah, she's lost.

[video] 15:31 I am lost.

15:33 And how could life be about that? How can this be the conclusion? Only when you're lost, that's when you come to this conclusion. Because you're doing races and you're going to be doing them over and over again. Because you will be just lost forever in these races because they will give you nothing.

[video] 15:52 I'm so hungry.

15:59 I feel like a slave. Oh my God. No, he didn't. No, he didn't just say that. No, he didn't. No, he didn't. No, he didn't.

16:12 You heard that, right? He said, I feel like a slave.

16:17 Oh my God, man. Oh my God. Slave mode. Slave mode. I can't. I can't.

[video] 16:28 And they just don't get it still.

16:34 This is slavery. The very definition of it. You've been enslaved your whole life. You're lost. Your mind has been manipulated. Your mind is essentially in a cage. An invisible cage. You have invisible chains around you. You feel like you can't do what you naturally want to do and that's why you do this. That's what this is about. Absolutely, you are slaves. But you don't actually get what's going on. This is so sad.

[video] 17:08 So seeds. Grain sludge is just made of seeds also, and then beans are seeds.

[video] 17:23 So, as it turns out, two people have already scratched from the race since last night.

17:30 That's good. Awesome. The only sane people there. Not really, because they started it, so they are not actually sane.

[video] 17:39 Josephine and Emma, which leaves only ten of us in the race on day three. Really goes to show that this is quite the challenge.

17:57 Looking very exhausted, under eye bags. Of course, obviously. It's very stressful what she's doing.

[video] 18:05 The last two days.

18:09 Okay, so you have pain, so you stop. A normal sane animal stops when they have pain.

[video] 18:17 It's quite intense.

18:20 Intense pain, even worse. Then you for sure stop. Instead you're going to be eating what? Is that grain sludge? Or what is that?

[video] 18:27 Now perpetually hungry, cold, tired, wet, and a bit of a wreck of a human being.

18:34 Yeah, yeah. Good way to put it. A wreck of a human being. Okay, so now we got it. So now we stop.

[video] 18:43 This is where the real test begins.

18:46 Who's testing you, man? Who? Who are you doing this for? You don't even understand yourself what's going on.

[video] 18:57 At this point, I was in pain. Mile by mile, my shin was getting worse.

19:03 Every time my leg landed at a slightly off angle, it just sent sharp and shooting pain up my... And every animal then would stop, lay down, if you can there or inside of a hut in this case, because it's too cold outside, and just heal. Every animal. no animal is essentially as dumb as humans today as brainwashed that they still go on for no reason because they're doing nothing there's no benefits to it as i said only downsides only pain only suffering my leg all i could do was take painkillers and hope that the pain would eventually go away Yeah, so just drugs to cover up the symptoms. The symptoms are telling you that your leg in this case is injured, but no, you continue. Because why? To get to the finish line. Why? What's the point? No point.

[video] 20:04 But then I also got some unwanted news. Alexander decided to drop out of the race after all. Now with him and Josephine gone, both of my mates were out of the race. And just because, you know, at this point you're so tired,

20:19 um you're so exhausted that your body finds it hard to warm itself up yes exactly because you need a lot of so-called energy to create heat yes if you don't have it if you don't have the food or the body fed for it and then you're exercising really torturing yourself on top of that then it's gonna get really cold when it's this cold outside already at night yeah it's almost traumatic really what she's doing I don't know if she won't have nightmares after this very cold tonight you can see my hair is just covered with frost I suspect it's about yeah minus 18 degrees something like that

[video] 21:06 It's cold. I'm cold. I gotta keep moving.

21:09 Nobody even wants to live in that kind of a climate. And the people that do just stay inside all winter, basically. They drive to work, it's warm inside, and then they go back home. They hardly even go outside. It's bad enough as it is to live in such a place, but then to actually be outside at night? Yeah, everything that she's doing is completely counterintuitive. It doesn't even get any worse than this.

21:44 Why? Why do you gotta keep moving?

[video] 21:49 That day, I reached the halfway point, around 250 kilometers.

21:53 But I wasn't... Halfway only? Oh my god, I can't.

[video] 21:59 Good morning.

[video] 22:04 I've had like four hours of sleep.

22:09 Four hours only. Oh my god, man. This is so brutal. It is brutal, yeah. But she says herself that it's brutal. She kind of already knew that. Yet she's still doing it.

[video] 22:26 So she's pretty cold and pretty beat up.

22:30 if you still feel cold you just didn't get enough rest obviously how could you even after something like this you gotta rest for weeks months i think i need to get packing i just need to get out of here it is beautiful out here and thankfully the sun is out so maybe i'll be able to get a little bit warmer

[video] 22:58 I'm still feeling dreadfully cold.

[video] 23:03 I think it's just the mix of exhaustion and the drop in temperatures. I'm very cold.

[video] 23:16 I'm so tired.

23:20 Oh my God.

23:30 She just wants to get to a warm room. Then do it. There's no reason not to.

23:38 Whether she will finish it or not, it's not going to change anything. You should just be listening to your body, man. Oops.

[video] 24:02 and that day i was so shaken and so drained and cold that the only thing on my mind was to sleep in a warm place yes of course naturally yeah that's your intuition your survival instinct thank you oh my god so good

24:36 I wonder if they also pay for this, probably, right? Because that race, that triathlon that Magnus Mittbo did, it turned out that he also paid for it, 500 euros, somebody said in the comments. You couldn't pay me anything to do such a race.

24:57 Yeah, why would I ever do that? I just can't imagine any sum or anything that you could give me to do that. I would never finish it anyway. I wouldn't even want to. I wouldn't try to.

[video] 25:11 It makes it really difficult to make anything. Okay. Next up.

25:24 I don't know why I'm here. I think that maybe after so many days, the reality really starts dawning on you. You actually start realizing, kind of, not really, because she won't probably, but you kind of really start questioning why you're even doing this in the first place.

[video] 25:46 This is what I love.

25:50 This isn't what I love. Obviously, it's literally the opposite of what you love. What you would love would be, as I said, a big family, warmth, comfort. That's what animals love. Comfort is our nature. We love that so much. This is the opposite of what you love. You hate it. Everything that you're doing here is what you hate. And then you have to ask yourself, and this is a general question that people should ask themselves, it's not even about the race right now, if you're watching this video right now, if you do something that you hate, any kind of exercise, you drink coffee which is bitter, you eat broccoli, you hate the taste, Just think of what you do in your everyday life or whatever, even once a week that you hate and then think, why do you do it to yourself? What's going on actually? I hate going to the gym. I hate eating vegetables.

26:51 Why? What do I want to achieve? Do I want to prove something to somebody? Do I just...

27:00 Try to destroy myself slowly. Did I just get brainwashed to believe that something is good for me even though it feels bad for me? There's no examples of something that feels bad but is good for you. That's impossible because it's counterintuitive. It's anti-nature. If it feels bad, it's bad. There's no exceptions to this. Everything that feels bad is bad for you.

[video] 27:28 You're so close. You're so close to the finish line, I don't know.

27:32 Yeah, but you're close to nothing. Because there is no finish line. Because it doesn't exist. You're imagining it.

[video] 27:36 I can do it.

27:44 It really doesn't matter. You should have never started it in the first place. You could just finish now here and it would make no difference because they could have thought of the finish line here also. It could be here. It doesn't matter because it's nowhere anyway because you're all imagining it. So it's all irrelevant. You could go to the finish line, but if they would have imagined that the finish line is one kilometer away, then... You would have still not finished. There is no finish line anyway, that's what I'm trying to say. It's all irrelevant anyway. Whatever you're gonna get to will be nothing anyway. Yeah, but that's too deep for her. She just wouldn't understand it.

28:39 I hate this. That's what she said. Yeah. And that is the truth. It's not what you love. You hate it. It's the opposite of love. It's the most counterintuitive thing you could do. Intuition is love. Doing something counterintuitive is hate.

[video] 29:03 At this point, you might be wondering why I didn't just quit there and then and spare myself the suffering. Well, if you ask my grandma, she would tell you that I'm as stubborn as a mule. And ultimately, I think that's why I was still going.

[video] 29:18 I've lost my voice.

29:21 She lost her voice. She was coughing also a lot during the video. Yeah, because of the cold. The cold creates the so-called cold and infects your lungs. creates all the slime and everything. Yeah, it makes you sick. It gives you the so-called flu. The cold is very dangerous. The cold is something you should always avoid. Try to stay as warm as possible. You're going to be very healthy and live a long life if you stay warm.

[video] 30:01 Yeah, but you're not getting any joy here.

[video] 30:08 Yeah, of course.

30:12 It's the opposite of happiness, what you're doing right now. Yeah, it's as far away from happiness as you can get. Yeah, pain, exhaustion and frustration. Kind of the opposite of happiness. Yeah, exactly. I guess that you're getting it now, but I don't think that she really understands it.

[video] 30:33 And literally the only thing that's driving me forward right now is just plain stubbornness. There's nothing else.

30:42 Yeah, but it's deeper than that because the stubbornness is just kind of

30:50 What's keeping you moving, but it's not the driver. The driver is something deeper than that. And that's what you need to find out. What's actually driving the stubbornness. Stubbornness is kind of nothing really.

[video] 31:06 The toughest part of all this has just been just really struggling with motivation.

[video] 31:15 I didn't have any truly good moments, maybe one at the very beginning on day one, but real moments of joy that I feel when I'm out running in the mountains. There was none of that. It's just been a painful, long slog I have already found. I think my limits, they're somewhere here. I don't fucking care for them. I don't want to cross them anymore. That's the harsh reality. Like, I'm sorry it's not more inspiring and romantic and empowering. Just the reality is that I'm really done with this.

[video] 31:57 I am like eight kilometers away from the finish line. And this is actually the moment that I've been looking forward to for the last 10 days. And it's not the finish line. It's from here.

32:17 oh my god oh my god it got even way worse that's her dog right she said that she was waiting for the dog more than for the finish line because she missed him so much. Nothing wrong with that as such, obviously, but we get dogs nowadays because we try to imitate children. Again, her marriage didn't work out, she got a dog, wanted to be a powerful woman, still got an imitation of a child.

32:57 Hmm, and this is her friend, child, husband, or whatever. Yeah, fuck, man. Yeah, this is really hardcore depression. Oh my god!

33:28 Actually, the dog is the answer to everything before the finish line. If she was conscious of what's going on, then she would have now realized that she's simply feeling this empty because she has no family. Would she be doing 10 day races through the Arctic, extreme cold, if she had a family at home in the warmth? Lots of children. She's 33, I think. She should have basically 10 children now. Naturally, that's how it would be in nature.

34:11 It's the first time she felt joy. If she would have a family, she would feel this joy, also happiness, basically every day. Of course, combined with a good diet also and some other stuff, it's not only family, but it's a huge step towards happiness. This is what she doesn't have. This emptiness isn't gonna go away. The dog isn't going to feel it or anything because something natural can only come from something natural. I think that this is what you have at least learned from my videos. Therefore, thinking that you can get something natural from something unnatural is you being delusional. And that's what she's trying to do with the dog. And it's never going to work out, obviously.

[video] 34:59 you can have five ten dogs you can become a cat lady never gonna do you any good i think we both think it's time to finish this thing buddy you want to go we're gonna go for a run

35:30 Oh, my God, this is her at the finish line with her imitation of a child. Wow. Wow. Oh, my God, man. This is really one of the most depressing pictures on Earth. A woman completely lost.

35:52 Feels as if she has no meaning in her life, completely unfulfilled. doing a race which she completely hated, even admitted it herself, completely depressed to the core.

36:06 And yeah, she's finishing it with her dog now.

36:12 Wow.

36:23 And is this supposed to inspire us or what?

36:31 And the man-made metal. Just some metal with symbols on it. It might as well just say good slave. They even understood during the race that they are slaves. That's all that it should say on the metal. Bravo, you slave.

37:03 Thank you so much. She says to them and they say you should be proud of yourself Man if I was there I Know what I would do They deserve yeah, whatever

37:35 It should be the opposite of pride. You should be proud of yourself. What are you talking about? You should really self-reflect now why you did this.

[video] 37:50 What do I do now with my life?

37:53 What do I do now? Yeah, because this was nothing because you just did nothing and you're still lost. Yeah, exactly. What do I do now? Yeah. Go to the next race and still feel empty after and depressed.

[video] 38:10 Hey, guys, we just wanted to say a big thank you for joining us.

38:13 She's actually a dog woman like the other one living in a van or something. Oh, my God. I can't. Oh, my God.

[video] 38:21 On this crazy adventure, I want to say thank you. Good boy.

38:27 Around two months after this race, she made a video called, I'm tired and I need to step away. That's good. I don't know if she actually realized what's going on. I don't think so.

[video] 38:39 And it's been a little bit tough, honestly. Two years ago, I went through pretty bad burnout. I had been, you know, working pretty much non-stop, traveling, full-time on the road, filming videos, collaborations, taking photos... Hmm, a burnout... Yeah, but obviously, as I said, you would need a lot of rest after this kind of a race.

39:03 I already pretty much said everything that I wanted to. Let's sum it up. She got divorced. That's the info that I found online. You can correct me if I'm wrong about something or if there is additional information that I should be aware of. And then she got the dog later. and started these races these journeys why do people go anywhere why do people look for something not only when it comes to traveling and these races but in general it's because they don't have something in this case you get a dog because you don't have something somebody close to you a so-called husband partner, whatever you want to call it, and children. That's why the older you get, the more cats and dogs you get.

40:02 Or why do you go on these journeys, travel and everything? You're looking for something. Something in your life is missing. There's some emptiness, some void that you want to fill. And you can't, because as I explained, something natural simply cannot come from something unnatural. That's not how this reality works. You can just never achieve that. It's simply not possible in this reality. That's it. That's why there's no examples of it. It's futile. You can try it, test it. You will never get it. If you want happiness, joy, which are innate human feelings, then never expect to get them from something unnatural, which means man-made.

40:54 If you try to do sports, these kind of races, or get pets instead of children, go to...

41:07 solarium or however they call it to a fake sun place with man-made technology and expect to feel as if you're in the sun and so on. Eat beyond meat instead of meat. Just don't ever expect to feel happiness, joy or become healthy by doing all of that because it's all man-made. It will never make you happy, healthy or anything like that. This is at least one thing that you should learn from this video. I hope she will realize what she actually wants in her life and what's going on with her. But unfortunately, she still seems very lost. I wish her all of the best. Thanks for watching.