Ex Vegan (6+ Months): Fruitarianism: The Path to Emaciation

Watch on YouTube · 2018-11-14 · 48 min

0:00 Simply introduce yourself and start at the very beginning, what year it was and why you went vegan, how you got into it and then what happened and why you quit.

[video] 0:12 Yeah, sure. I'm 23 years old by now and my interest in health and diet and everything started about two years ago. When I was living like a very stressful life, I was working out every day, drinking alcohol a lot and stuff. So I was also working like 100% at quite a stressful job. So at some point it just all got too much, I think, and my body started not working like my body stopped working properly. And I got these pains, these joint pains, and I was always tired. And then I went to see some doctors and they took some tests and were like, yeah, we can't find anything. We can't do anything to help you. Let's just call it fibromyalgia then. And I started researching a bit on fibromyalgia, read some books.

[video] 1:09 And some folks recommended a ketogenic diet for fibromyalgia. And so I started doing that two years ago. And quite instantly, I felt a lot better. Like my pain... was greatly reduced. And my acne also went completely away, which I had been struggling with for years. But I was eating a pretty bad keto diet at the time, like lots of junk food like cheese and processed meats and stuff. So um, I did that for like half a year. And I always lost weight when I lost a lot of weight, like when I started I'm 180 tall and when I started, I was 70 kilo and so I was like half a year on keto and I lost like 10 kilo at that time.

[video] 2:07 But I think it was just due to me not eating enough fat most of the time. I didn't really add extra fat to my meat and all and I stopped eating nuts at some point because I couldn't really digest them. And also, I didn't really like the coconut oil. I still don't like the taste and everything. So yeah, most of the time I was just sticking to fatty meats like chicken legs and stuff like that, which probably wasn't enough fat, but not so important. So after half a year, I decided I wanted to try to introduce some carbs again, which was a disaster because Like all my pain came back instantly. My digestion was so fucked. And I tried to introduce like the good carbs, like sweet potatoes and stuff, but I just totally couldn't handle it.

[video] 3:04 So, uh, I, like I started researching a little more. I got into the gaps diet, like I discovered, um, yeah, you know, these whole theories about gut health and stuff. And then I, um, I actually implemented the GAPS diet, like started with the introduction diet, where you basically just have these bone broths for a while. And I was just really not satisfied. I was always hungry. So when I made the bone broths, I would always take out the meat and eat all of it. So sometimes like eight chicken legs at a time or something. And I was like, dude, this is completely abnormal. You've got an eating disorder or something. But in reality, it was probably just my body craving that protein and fat because I was already very thin. But I blamed the diet again. I was like, yeah, this protocol is probably not working.

[video] 4:02 I need to find something else that's better. So I started researching a bit. And then I got into veganism, which was probably the worst thing that could have happened to me. But first, I just...

[video] 4:19 I just cut out the meat, and then I just ate soups, like vegetable soups, because my digestion was really bad. So I just ate vegetable soups with eggs sometimes, and at one point I cut out even the eggs. So basically then I was a lacto-vegetarian. I just ate vegetables and some fermented dairy products. And then at some point I started researching veganism a little more, and I got into raw veganism, which was horrible. So I read all these success stories of people who cured every possible illness on a raw vegan diet and got into 80-10-10, the book by Doug Graham. It's basically a fruitarian diet with a little salad.

[video] 5:16 Yeah, for two months I was just eating fruits all day long and then a salad at night. But the fruit was horrible because, you know, my blood sugar was so bad. It had always been. And so the fruit caused me terrible pain and the salads I couldn't digest whatsoever. Like they made me so constipated. I was constipated for weeks at times. And then I got into Dr. Morris. I think another guest on one of your videos has talked about him. And yeah, he's just like an herbal doctor. He calls himself a doctor, but I think he isn't actually a certified doctor. So he sells these herbal products and tells all the people to eat nothing but fruit. So I started doing that, and it's really like a horrible sect or something. It's really a cult.

[video] 6:14 Then you got these Facebook groups and everything where you can ask questions. And I often did that. So I was writing like, yeah, guys, I started doing this. I'm eating lots of fruits and I'm feeling horrible. And everyone was always just like, yeah, it's detox. Push through it. It will get better. But really, it didn't get better. Like the pain went away. But I think that my nervous system was already so fucked up because it didn't have enough fat and enough protein. so it was getting just completely shut down and to the point where i didn't even feel any pain anymore so i i thought like yeah i'm making some progress but um i lost so much weight like i told you when i started i was like 60 kilo my weight had been pretty much stable um during the gaps time and then Then it went down so fast when I went on this fruit diet.

[video] 7:14 I think within six months, I lost about 10 more kilos. It was down to 50, which is extremely underweight already. I also got into fasting. These people in Dr. Moore's group, they all recommend dry fasting. They all say you should dry fast for 16 hours every day.

[video] 7:38 which is crazy, really. And I did that for a while, and it made me just lose so much more weight. So people got really worried, like the people around me, my mother and relatives and stuff. And I just started getting quite paranoid, you know? I think it also has to do with your brain not getting the nutrients and everything, because that's something I hear from a lot of vegans, that they get really paranoid. And so in my case, it got so bad, like I was always scared to death. I was like, yeah, if my relatives see me, they will call the police or something and tell them I have an eating disorder, which looking back like veganism is the worst eating disorder of them all. But.

[video] 8:28 Yeah, and then I was just so scared of being delivered to like a mental hospital or something. That was like a fear that was always around and maybe was even justified. But I couldn't sleep anymore. Basically, when I slept two or three hours a night, I could call myself lucky. And yeah, at some point I just decided to call it quits. I was like, no, I'm getting out of here. People are here. just want to kill me, they don't understand detoxification and shit like that. So I actually started looking around and I started looking for fruit-tearing communities around the world and then I found two such communities in Spain and I went there, I traveled there, I told my mom, hey, I'm going on holiday to Spain and then I went to these communities and

[video] 9:25 spent a few days there in both but actually just something didn't feel right because the people there were like completely fucked in the head they were so weird all of them and like behaving yeah like really autistic in a way so and i just couldn't i just felt so so strange being around them and being with them so it it just didn't feel right. These people just, I think they'd been doing this stuff even way longer than I. And so maybe, yeah, I wasn't quite as messed up as they were, but long story short, I went back home and decided, um, to like live a normal life while being a raw vegan. Um, which didn't work of course, because I couldn't find a job given how skinny I was and still,

[video] 10:25 all the relatives and such were still extremely worried about me and then like a month later I you know like lost more and more weight so I decided again that it was time to flee and I'd been to these fruit-tearing communities and had seen that this was not the place for me basically so it was like yeah maybe there is no place for me in this world after all so I decided that I would just go to to southern Europe and become a wild fruitarian. That's how messed up my brain was at that stage. I really thought I could just walk around there in Italy or something and eat wild fruit all year long and sleep outside. I was completely out of my head. And I was like, yeah, if it fails, I can just fast myself to death. It won't be painful, I think.

[video] 11:25 And then I went to Sardinia, which for the people who don't know is an island in Italy. And I just was there on the campground where it was really cheap. And I was there and I was eating nothing but watermelons for like two weeks. Just every day I would go from the campground to there. to the little village and buy two watermelons and then I would eat these and every time I ate one I got massive panic attacks because it fucked my blood sugar so badly and I couldn't sleep at night and everything so basically like for two weeks I was living off just watermelons and some orange juice which I got at the local restaurant and then I got these really bad cravings like when I walk past the pizza store and As I smelled the pizza, I was like, no, I need to eat that now.

[video] 12:19 Or when I saw people like having a barbecue at the campground and eating steak and fish, I was craving that like so much. But I was like, no, it's it's bad. I'm not allowed to eat it. And then like one or two times, I actually I actually gave in. And one one time I had a pizza with sardines and I actually felt felt kind of good after eating that, like physically. But mentally, I was just getting completely upset. And it was like, yeah, now all the detox that I've done has been in vain and stuff. So I tried to water fast as an act of repentance. But it really didn't work. I got hungry again, so I started eating the melons again. And it was really a vicious cycle that at some point I decided to go home again. And I did that, and of course, I was even skinnier than after my first flight.

[video] 13:18 And looking back, it's really a miracle that nobody called the police or something on me because they were like, I was like just eating fruit and nothing else for like four or five or even six months. And I was getting skinnier and skinnier, and I looked so horrible. I mean, I could send you a few pictures, if you like, so you can link them or something. but I really looked like a skeleton. I was down to, um, like, and then came the next part. That's actually something I need to tell. Um, I need to tell too, um, because I went back home and I was like, yeah, now, now it's serious. Like I'm going to find a job and everything. I try everything. And then I actually found a job at, at an old people's home. And which was very, very stressful because I don't have, I don't really have a qualification, like I'm not trained as a nurse or whatever.

[video] 14:17 So I was just the guy who had to do all the little jobs that no one else wants to do. So this was quite stressful. I had to start every day. I had to leave my house at 6 a.m. every morning. and came back at like 8 p.m. in the evening and was working all day, it was quite well paid. And so I didn't have time to eat. That was the fucked up thing. Because when I was a fruitarian, I always ate these huge monomials of like six mangoes or something. And these would fuck my blood sugar so badly that I just got extremely anxious. And yeah, I really got these panic attacks after eating so much sugar.

[video] 15:06 every time and so I always ate very slowly because someone like in the group had told me and that's better for your blood sugar and everything and so I didn't really have time to eat when I was doing that job and then I decided I wanted to do a juice fast because my digestion was fucked up anyways and then every morning I just I got up at like 4 a.m. Because I refused to drink juice that had been in the fridge for like 10 hours. Because then all the enzymes and the energy would be dead and such. And then every morning I got up at 4 a.m. and squeezed myself some orange juice or something. And I took that to work. And then when I was working, like I was always carrying around this bottle of juice with me. And each five minutes I would take a sip.

[video] 16:04 to give myself that energy kick again with the sugar. So I somehow managed to do that job for like two or three weeks. But then I started to crash because my weight dropped again. Like when I did that juice fast, I consumed maybe like a thousand calories a day in the form of juices and not more. But at that point, my body was so starved, I didn't even really feel hunger anymore. which was the fucked up thing. And yeah, then, so I decided to quit the job because I was just, you know, I couldn't do it anymore. I also went to dry fasting and everything like while doing that job, I sometimes did like 20 hour dry fast and stuff. And that was just, I was so fucked and I was always really angry and annoyed and

[video] 16:58 Yeah, I was being really rude to everyone, like the old people in that institution and to my co-workers and everything. So things didn't really work out and I quit the job. But I earned quite a lot of money. I earned like 2,000 bucks, like Franken, which is I think like two and a half thousand dollars. And I was like, yeah, this needs to be enough. I can't save up any more money because I won't find another job because I was so skinny already. I was like 43 or 42 kilos at the end of the juice fast and I looked absolutely horrible. I was so emaciated and still and like I was posting pictures on the Dr. Moore's group and still people were telling me like, yeah, it's just detox, push through it, go on with the juices. It's malabsorption.

[video] 17:55 It's because you still have fecal matter in your gut and you can't absorb the things properly. It's just bullshit like that. And I was still believing it. So I was like, yeah, I need to find a way to continue with the juicing. And at home, you know, my mom was getting really worried because I was so skinny. And I was basically not eating anymore. You know, I was just drinking juices all day long. So she was like, yeah, somehow you're not eating anymore. And I was like, no, you know, I'm on a juice fast. And I tried to explain everything to her. And of course she, she understood that I was really fucked in my head and that it was all complete hogwash. And so she was like, yeah, you start eating now or I will call the police. And then I was like, fuck, yeah, I'm so skinny. If she calls them, they will actually take me in. I did still realize that. So, um,

[video] 18:53 I decided to break the juice fast and watch some videos like how to break a juice fast properly.

[video] 19:00 And I soaked some figs, like dried figs, and I soaked them overnight and I ate that the next day. So I broke my juice fast after 24 days of not eating and even not getting enough calories in with the juices. So I ate these figs and within 20 minutes they came out again because my digestion was so fucked. And for the rest of the day I just continued with the juicing. I just wanted to juice. I didn't want to do anything else. I didn't want to eat. And so then I started eating watermelon and stuff again just so I could tell my mom, hey, see, I'm eating. But I still drank a lot of juice and that was

[video] 19:49 everything I was thinking about was just how I could find a way to make it possible for me to go on with the choosing and then the really crazy shit happened because when you got someone who's so fucked in the head and has got two and a half thousand bucks on the side and like no obligations in life then the really fucked up shit starts to happen and I decided like I started asking around in the group, like, guys, do you have any suggestions? Where could I go? Where could I continue my choosing? And like some guy from Germany actually said I could come to him and choose there. But this didn't work out. So I needed to find another way. And I was like, yeah, in Germany, the police could still find me and arrest me for choosing.

[video] 20:45 That's just how paranoid I was getting on this fucking crazy. And then I was starting to look around and like where in the world can I get good fruits and good quality for very cheap prices? And then I started looking at like South Asia and South America and And I think the flight to Asia was cheaper, so I opted for that. And I got in contact with some fruitarians in Chiang Mai. And then I just flew there, just booked my flight to Chiang Mai. Didn't tell, like I told my mom, hey, I'm going to visit a friend in Germany, which I did. I went to this other fruitarian guy in Germany. And then I took the plane from there. Because I was so scared that if I took the plane in Switzerland, they would find out.

[video] 21:44 I went to Germany, and from there I went to Chiang Mai. And there, you know, I met up with these two fruit-daring guys who lived like in an old hotel, a little outside of the center. And this was a really weird thing. Like, there was this hotel. It was completely empty. It was extremely cheap. You could basically live there for, I think, 100 euros a month. have a room and everything extremely cheap and these two guys were living there and basically nobody else and it was so weird like looking back and but they were really kind to me they like showed me around showed me the fruit market and everything and at first everything seemed really nice and i could start like to choose again i always um i didn't have a chooser there in thailand i just got to the market every day and bought three watermelons.

[video] 22:41 And then I made juice with these and then not milk. And I just drank that all the time. I actually bought myself a refrigerator just to keep my juices cool because I refused to drink juice that was like body temperature. I always wanted like really cool juice because the Dr. Moore's always said, yeah, heat is acidic and to alkalize the body, you need to cool it. I was like, yeah, I need to drink my juice as cool, as cold as possible. So I always put them in the freezer and took them out right before they would freeze so the enzymes wouldn't get destroyed. They would still be as cold as possible. I was completely fucked. So I did that juicing again. And it made me really paranoid again because every time I juice, I get so paranoid because it fucks my blood sugar probably. And then I started to... I started getting afraid of the two other guys.

[video] 23:39 I was like, yeah, maybe they invited me here just so they can rob and kill me. I was getting so scared. And I couldn't sleep anymore. I was just lying awake all night and drinking juice.

[video] 23:56 I was drinking like four liters of juice a day and then some coconut water and nothing else. And then I lay awake all night and thought about how the other guys would come and kill me and take away my stuff. And then I made escape plans like, yeah, I could jump down from the balcony and maybe then I could get out and stuff. And then I was so stressed all the time. And then I started looking up other hotels. And then at a point where I was sure that the other two guys were sleeping, I just packed all my stuff. And I ran out of the hotel and booked another hotel. And I just, yeah, by taxi, I went there. And I checked in at like 1 a.m. And the hotel people were just looking at me like I was completely crazy, which I was. And so, yeah, the two fruitarians didn't know where I was. And I felt kind of safe.

[video] 24:54 So I was at that other hotel, which was way more expensive, but still... I didn't care anymore. I just cared about my juices and my fruits. And so I was there and I was feeling kind of secure because, you know, the hotel was more expensive. It felt a little more guarded. And so I was there and started doing juices again. And I also ate some fruit, which I could get for free at the hotel. Like in the morning, they always had some papaya and I could eat that for free. So I got it. And then, yeah, things were kind of calming down. Like every day I went to the market, bought fruit, ate the fruit or made juice. And that was basically my life. And then at some point something bad happened. And that triggered my paranoia big time again, because I was driving to the market.

[video] 25:49 They had like these really old bicycles at the hotel that you could rent. And they were completely shitty, like they didn't have any gears. You could hardly use the brakes like completely fucked bicycles. And I always used these to make my shop things. And so when I came back from the market, I actually crashed with with a Thai woman on a motorcycle. And I was like like my backpack was really heavy. I was carrying around like three watermelons and some coconuts or something. And she didn't see me. And so we crashed. And, you know, in Thailand, nobody's wearing helmets when they're riding motorbikes. So there was this woman on the bike with no helmet. And the bad thing is she was actually like her daughter was with her. And she was carrying that daughter like a girl who was maybe three years old.

[video] 26:49 And she was carrying the daughter like on her arm and with the other arm she was steering. And so we crashed, and the daughter just flew through the air and crashed on the concrete, and the Thai woman as well, and me as well, and blood everywhere and stuff. It was horrible. And I wasn't very severely injured. I just had some flesh wounds. But yeah, nothing too dangerous. And the woman also wasn't hurt too badly. But the problem is that The girl, it's not fun. No, it's really not funny. But the girl really crashed on her head. So she had like a big wound in her head and it looked really horrible. Like she didn't even cry anymore. She was just like completely scared. And so that Thai woman was like, yeah, I need to pay her.

[video] 27:48 I don't, I can't remember, but it was quite a lot. I need to pay her that amount of money or she will call the police. And I was like, yeah, fuck, if the police comes, I'm fucked because I don't speak Thai. And then they will think it's my fault, the accident. And then they will take me to jail and in jail I can choose and then I will die. So that was really like my main fear that I wouldn't even, you know, at that point, I didn't even care if they would send me to jail as long as there was food. I was just worried about that.

[video] 28:23 But so I paid her the money and she didn't call the police and she went home and everything and I guess like everything would have been fine at that point but I was so paranoid that I couldn't like I started getting sleepless again and thinking yeah maybe she will still call the police to get even more money and stuff and so I had booked the hotel for 14 days but after just like five days I decided like, no, fuck, I need to get out of Thailand. Police will get me and will put me in the jail. And yeah, so I booked the next flight to Switzerland and I left Thailand after like two weeks. And so I was back in Switzerland, like my third escape that had failed. And I just still didn't realize how fucking crazy I was and how fucking crazy this fruit diet was.

[video] 29:19 And so I was, and then came like the day of change, you could call it, or like, yeah, the magical moment. And then I was in Switzerland. I was back at the airport. And, you know, in the plane, you can't bring liquids with you. So when I was on the plane, I was always fasting. And I was dry fasting because I refused to drink any water. I was like, yeah, you can't. process that if it's just water, which is probably true. So I was always like, yeah, I will just fast on the plane. And I did. So it was like a 20 hour flight from Thailand back to Switzerland. And I just fasted. And then when I came back to the airport, I was in Zurich in Switzerland, I was so fucking hungry. And then I was like, yeah, I need to get something. I need to get some juice.

[video] 30:15 And then I actually found the bar where they had orange juice and I gulped down the orange juice. And then I got some more orange juice. It was fresh pressed, but still it had that really weird aftertaste. Like I think they had used some chemicals on the peel. So it was really bitter. And so I drank that as well because I was so thirsty and so hungry. And then I went home. You know, I don't live in Zurich. I live a little more to the northeast. And then I went home by train. And already in the train, I started feeling kind of unwell, probably from that juice. And then I, you know, the last few kilometers to my house were by bus. And then I started to get like really bad stomach aches. And I was like, I need to go to the toilet now. I'm feeling so sick. And I got out of the bus.

[video] 31:12 Then I just shat myself. It's so fucking embarrassing. But I just couldn't hold it anymore. And then I went to a new restaurant and was like, hey, can I use your toilet real quick? And I just didn't make it to the toilet. It just came out. It was so fucking embarrassing. Then I had to walk home. I just felt like dying. And

[video] 31:40 Yeah. So so but actually, when I was home, I still felt like, yeah, fruit is the only physiological nutrition for humans. We are frugivores and we need that to detoxify and everything. So I was basically still on this fucked path. And, you know, in Thailand, I had started making videos like vlog videos where I talked about my traveling and. and about detoxification and fruitarianism and stupid things. And people in that Dr. Moore's group really liked these videos. So when I was home, of course, my mother told me, yeah, you're even skinnier than before, and now I'm definitely calling police and such. And I was like, yeah, fuck, I can't escape anymore because I didn't have any money left. So I made a video, like a call for help.

[video] 32:38 And I was like, yeah, people, please help me. I do nothing wrong. I just want to eat fruit and juice. And my mom wants to send me to a clinic. Please help me. And then some people, I think, started to realize that I was pretty fucked and also people that had supported me before. And then one guy actually and there were a lot of, you know, like hate comments, of course. And some people just said like, yeah, dude, start eating meat again. You're starving. And that was just blocking all of these people. And then one guy actually wrote, check out a YouTuber called Sverige. And, you know, because he didn't mention anything about meat in the comment, I actually got kind of curious. So I actually went to YouTube and watched some of your videos. And I was like, yeah, fuck this dude.

[video] 33:36 actually seems to have got it right like maybe I was wrong all along so it really started to change my mind and then I was like yeah in fact if I go on with the fruit protocol and everything I will die anyways so I might as well try eating meat again and so yeah so like the next day I just went to the steakhouse and ordered three ribeyes and ate that and I felt so much better after that and yeah that i think that pretty much saved my life like the guy who mentioned you in and the comments because then i just started i really started getting into animal products again ate lots of dairy and eggs and meat and so it i think it's now been a month or so and i i'm still really fucked like physically and mentally but i'm i'm feeling a lot better and i've gained back like

[video] 34:36 15 kilograms in three weeks, which is a real lot. Of course, I was really happy about that. My family members and everyone, they were also seeing, yeah, he's doing something different now and it seems to be working. So, yeah, that's great.

34:57 Do you remember which video of mine you watched?

[video] 35:01 I don't know what the first one was. Okay. But I think I'd seen one of your videos a few months before. I think it was the one on salt.

[video] 35:15 Just that one, but I didn't really watch any more of them.

[video] 35:24 And then, yeah, I think the one who mentioned you in the comments also said, I should check you out because you had a similar story. Like with the fasting and the...

35:35 I could really relate. That's why I had to laugh because of how much I could relate to a lot of this. Yeah, yeah. It's so crazy.

[video] 35:44 Yeah, when I watched your videos on the fasting and sun gazing, I was really like, this dude has made the same mistakes as me. So maybe I can now learn from him how to correct them. Yeah, like because... Yes, I just tried my best to follow your stuff because it was like I've tried so much. Worst thing that can happen is that I die and I didn't die. And I feel way better now. So, I mean, the fucked up thing is that I was actually in such a good track like one and a half years ago when I was getting into the keto diet and gaps and everything. And still they were able to brainwash me and trick me into thinking veganism was right after all.

[video] 36:36 That's actually really something that I need to be, you know, I should really be angry at myself for being so stupid, but I think you never know until you've tried it yourself.

36:47 Do you believe that this whole liquidarian thing is related to us only wanting to drink blood and that's how we would be liquidarian? This whole not wanting to eat solid food thing?

[video] 37:00 Yeah, that's really interesting, actually. I think it's more...

[video] 37:07 I think when you're a fruitarian, especially, you're basically starving. It's a form of fasting, of starvation. And, you know, I always realized that there were huge conspiracies out there, like with what they are feeding the people and stuff and how the medical system treats us. So... I think already as a fruitarian, I kind of understood that our world is really fucked and our system and everything with the mind control and the brainwash and stuff. But I was getting so scared of the whole system that part of me was like, yeah, you can't defeat them. It's better to just give up on life. And I think that's the whole point of fruitarianism. I think deep inside when you're a fruitarian or you're choosing

[video] 38:01 You're trying to kill yourself on a very, I think it's a subconscious level, but it's really like the wish for death in a sense, for a peaceful death. Because I think if you starve yourself, that's really the most painless way of dying. Because at some point your nervous system just stops working and you're not feeling pain anymore. And then you just fall asleep and you don't need to fight anymore. And I think that's why I really got into fasting and fruit eating and yeah, like juicing and all of that. I think it's more of like that aspect. And maybe also like the thought of being free from it all so you don't have to worry about food anymore. Yeah, you're just so much more independent.

38:55 Yeah.

[video] 39:00 But I don't know, maybe on the subconscious level it might be related to the blood thing as well. Really not sure.

39:10 What do you believe is the future of veganism?

[video] 39:14 Hard to tell. I think right now it seems like it's getting more popular. Like I see it in our town, there are new vegan jobs popping up like every week almost. And it seems to be like kind of trendy. But yeah, it's hard to say because I think we need more people like you who spread awareness and how dangerous it actually is because people are just buying into it. Many are doing it for the ethical reasons also, which I never did. But I think most vegans are actually just doing it for the animals and such.

[video] 39:57 It's kind of dangerous because they don't research the whole physiological side. They think of veganism more as a moral thing than as a health thing. So they don't even think that there could be health complications, I think. And yeah, but maybe like, or I hope that in the future people will just realize what it does to your body. Also, one last thing I wanted to add about fruitarianism. I think the point is with fruitarianism, when you compare it to the normal veganism, where you eat the stupid soy products and shit, I think your standard vegan diet with grains and tofu and soybeans and shit like that is more dangerous than fruitarianism. Because on a normal vegan diet, so to speak, you

[video] 40:52 both starve yourself because obviously you can't absorb the proteins from tofu and stuff and all the nutrients and but you also like um toxify or you're also taking so many toxins like with the grains and everything and when you're a fruitarian you basically just starve yourself but don't take in a lot of toxic stuff you know what i mean like it's basically just starvation Whereas regular veganism is starvation plus toxification.

41:26 Right.

[video] 41:27 Yeah. I think it's less dangerous. But still very dangerous. Yeah.

41:32 I would say it's more dangerous because they don't get a lot of nutrients, B12, vitamin A, vitamin D, blah, blah, blah. And they don't notice it for a longer time because they do get something out of it. So they can starve themselves for a bit longer than fruitarians. But they end up even worse because they don't notice that they starve themselves. Fruitarians notice it much quicker.

[video] 41:57 Yeah, because you will lose the weight quicker. Yeah, that's probably true. And I think it might be even beneficial for like a very short period of time, like to go on a fruit fast or something. But only assuming you have a healthy weight, like you're overweight or something. Like one guy actually told me that people like in the north, the Eskimos or something, in the winter, they eat only meat. And fish and stuff, and in summer they eat mainly fruit, berries and such. Haven't heard of it. Yeah, I was just thinking maybe they were like building up in the winter and then detoxifying in the summer. But I'm really not sure about that anymore.

42:51 Do you still have the YouTube channel and the videos from Thailand?

[video] 42:55 No, I actually deleted all of them.

42:58 I would like to see them.

[video] 43:01 Yeah, maybe I can find one that I still have on my iPad or something. But yeah, when I look at them, I'm just like, yeah, that was so crazy. I'm just glad that I somehow managed to come back without being sent to an institution or anything. And I think it was really extremely close. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. Because there they actually kill you. And I knew that back then when I was a fruitarian already. Because, yeah, so that's why I was getting so scared.

[video] 43:41 I mean, looking back, my fear and paranoia was actually kind of justified.

43:46 When I was really underweight, they kept taking my blood in the hospital. All the time, they just kept taking it. They were just killing me, literally. And they don't even realize it. Yeah, that is supposedly but how many tests do you need? You just take blood all the time? Just so much?

[video] 44:04 Yeah, sure. And I mean, that that your body will need even more energy to use the blood again, which are restored.

44:13 They were starving me. They didn't even give me food. It's just absolute death. They kill people in hospitals.

[video] 44:21 Yeah. Yeah. Also, when I was at that old people's home that like made me so angry. Because even though I was a fruitarian back then, I realized that they were killing the people in the old people's home with the food they were giving them. They were starving them so badly. It was like the worst form of malnutrition. They gave them basically nothing, like extremely small portions. And the stuff was like shit. I mean, for dinner, they usually had like one slice of ham and and a very little piece of bread with that. And then a cup of coffee and that that was it. Like horrible stuff. And these these old people were all so emaciated, really. And I feel like they do this on purpose. So they starve them. And they will be easier to take care of.

[video] 45:20 Because they will basically just lie in bed when they are so start, you know, and And the people at the place will have less work to do. Also, when they starve them like that, they will die earlier. So the government needs to pay the institution less money. It all makes sense. It's really horrible. And I think that's also the point with these, you know, anorexia clinics. I think they are actually trying to kill the people there.

45:51 Yeah, 100%.

[video] 45:52 Yeah. So... So the government won't have to use any money on them again because, you know, they probably are like, yeah, these people with anorexia, they are all mentally ill. And when they put you at a clinic for mentally ill people, they got to keep you there for 10, 20 years. And that costs a lot of money. I mean, they prefer to kill you as quickly as possible.

46:22 They only give them synthetic liquid stuff or they give them food that absolutely unnatural, that nobody would want to eat anyway. So these people who already have an eating disorder just can't eat all the shit. The only thing that would heal them would be natural food. So it's just impossible for them to eat that because their body is saying no.

[video] 46:41 Yeah, it's fucking ridiculous. It's really horrible. And when you start seeing all of these things, And, you know, I saw through most of these things, these conspiracy things already as a vegan. And it scared me just so much. And it was like, yeah, I can't do anything. I just need to starve myself to death because there's no way of escaping them. And sometimes even now I feel that way. I feel like the whole society, the whole system is just so fucked up that there's it's really hard to protect yourself from it. Also, like with the Wi-Fi. I think Wi-Fi is so underestimated. I think it's so much more dangerous than people think. And in today's world, there's really no way you can protect yourself from it. I mean, in every bus, in every restaurant, you have it.

47:33 True.

[video] 47:35 And so it's really like they're literally trying to kill us. And then you just start getting... desperate and yeah like questioning it all is there even a point in trying to to save our lives and save our health all right man thanks for sharing this crazy journey yeah thanks for having yeah um yeah i hope it might maybe prevent some people from making these same mistakes but yeah because there's really a lot that i did wrong