Ex-Vegan (1.5 Years): Veganism & Weed: A Lethal Combination

Watch on YouTube · 2019-01-25 · 28 min

0:00 You can introduce yourself if you like to and start at the beginning what year it was and how you got into veganism and then how it unfolded.

[video] 0:11 Okay. So my name is Travis. I'm 19. I'm from Northern Indiana. And like, I've always wanted to like, be more spiritual, I guess be more like,

[video] 0:29 caring, loving, all that. But I was never really religious growing up at all. I was never religious. I never went to church or anything like that. And I was just feeling down towards the end of high school. I'm not really doing anything sports-wise. I'm not doing anything academics. I totally gave up. on like I'd stop going to classes and stuff like that and like I would smoke weed like weed was something that I gravitated towards because it like brought me some kind of like meaning feeling of like belonging or whatever so like I was always a heavy pothead like I always would be smoking and

[video] 1:27 After a while, it just got boring, so then I took acid for my very first time, and it, like, totally changed, like, how I perceived things around me and, like, the world we're in and stuff like that, and especially diet. Like, I knew diet had to play a part in, like, how you felt and, like, how, you know, you interact with people and stuff like that, so that's how, that's where it started. was me taking acid. Like it started 2016. I was like, you know, I, I'm not going to be eating any more animal products. I was telling my parents, I'm like, I don't want to eat meat anymore. I just want to, I'm going to go vegetarian. Like I'm going to be, I'm not going to eat any type of animal products. And my parents were like, uh, that's where are you going to get protein from? And like, where are you going to get like,

[video] 2:25 all these different kinds of vitamins and stuff like that. And I'm like, in my head, I think I know more like from the drugs and stuff like, Oh, I'm so much more, I'm like more, uh, high vibrational, like different wavelengths, bullshit. And, um, that's kind of like where I started to be closed off. Like I was done listening to people. I'm like, I'm going to stick to this stuff like I feel good taking these and so like it was January I had taken acid and for the first month of January in 2016 I didn't eat any animal products like my first month no milk no steak chicken nothing cheese anything like that and I was like I'm feeling good like so far like I don't feel healthy. Like, I have energy.

[video] 3:24 I still go to school and hang out with friends and stuff like that. And then, like, February, kept doing the same thing. March on and on, like, pretty much just, like, rice, beans, salads, and, like, after a while, it was like March, I started to feel, I started to get that feeling again, like that, like, no belonging, like, I need to find my true purpose, my true, like, spiritual connection, and so, I take acid again, and it brings it back, like, I'm like, oh my god, this is amazing, like, it's like, I needed the drugs, like, I need these drugs to be, like, loving and caring, you know what I mean?

[video] 4:21 So I kept doing that. But then after a while, I noticed my friends would say shit to me like, dude, you're looking like a bitch. You're looking small, real skinny. You're not looking right. You're not looking like you used to. Because I grew up playing baseball, and I was just a huge athlete. Baseball, track, basketball. all that kind of stuff, so I've always been super competitive as an athlete, and I started to just, like, get weak. Like, I looked like a bitch, like, and my friends started noticing it, and, like, normally I'd, like, bite back at them or, like, say shit back to them, but I would be, like,

[video] 5:15 like, you hurt my feelings, like, oh my god, like, you're so mean, like, and it would be, like, I would, it was almost like I was, like, turning into a damn girl, like, that's how it felt, that's how I felt, like, I'm not, like, I wasn't competitive anymore, I'm just, like, oh, like, let's just get along, like, what is, what's the point of this anyway, and all that kind of stuff, but yeah, like, going on into the summertime, like, that's, I just kept doing it. I was feeling good because summertime's coming. Obviously, the sun's out more. So the vegan diet, I was still doing it. Still, I'm like, and all the stuff that my friends would say with like, oh, you're getting skinny. I'm just like, oh, they don't know. I'm just on a different wavelength. That's this saying. Basically,

[video] 6:16 I was really getting into the new age stuff in the summertime of 2016. And that's when stuff started getting bad. I started having schizophrenic episodes and stuff like

[video] 6:46 People were watching me and shit like that and it was really bad. I lost a girlfriend that I had and that sucked. But I kept doing the whole vegan thing. I'm like, this is the right way to go.

[video] 7:07 I'm kind of losing my train of thought.

7:09 Would you say that it was the drugs that were making you kind of schizophrenic, or was it also some kind of deficiency, maybe B12? Did you take any supplements?

[video] 7:18 Yeah, I took a spray. But I didn't do that until, like, basically this is 2016. Nothing really that chaotic happened in 2016, but that's why I was, like, telling you. 2017, and, like, our chat before this, 2017's, like, really when everything started getting bad.

[video] 7:44 It was probably deficiency, I think, that was causing those episodes, but also, I mean, I'm telling you, I was smoking, like, eighths a day. Like, I don't know. eighths eighth of weed yeah okay a lot of weed i was smoking so much like basically so my second semester of high school i was in track and i'm like oh like i know all this stuff about the vegan diet like i'm gonna outperform all these kids like i'm gonna be the top athlete in the school like in my head i'm thinking that before the season starts And so this is like, I'm like, I'm only going to eat vegan the whole rest of the school year. And I did.

[video] 8:37 And like during the day, like I didn't have many classes cause like I had already got enough credits or something. So basically most of the day I just spent it in a computer lab.

[video] 8:54 So I was just like browsing the internet, doing stuff like that. Like I didn't really, expend much energy. You know what I mean?

9:05 And this was still in 2016? Yeah.

[video] 9:07 No, this is 2017.

9:09 So how long were you vegan then? Because you said you started in January 2016? Or did you mix up the dates?

[video] 9:18 Well, then I guess a year, technically, okay, like the beginning of 2016, up until the summer. Once it was like around August or whatever, I kind of just like gave it up. I was like I was I would eat McDonald's and Wendy's and stuff if my parents would buy it. And then I'm like, whatever. It's not that big of a deal because I also didn't have any money. But like. I got to get into that, too, because I started working a job and I did the whole supplement thing with the green powders and the spirulina and all that.

[video] 10:02 But like 2017, the summertime, like...

10:07 So when did you start veganism again then, approximately?

[video] 10:12 January of 2017.

10:13 Again, okay, right. So pretty much a New Year's resolution.

[video] 10:17 Yeah, sort of.

[video] 10:21 But it also had to do with the New Age kind of deal. Mm-hmm.

[video] 10:28 Like, I was watching Infinite Waters.

10:32 Right.

[video] 10:33 Infinite Waters. I was watching Vegan Gains. I was watching...

[video] 10:43 I was about it. I never... Fully Raw Christina, I was like, what the fuck? Never got into that BS.

10:52 Okay.

[video] 10:53 But, like, Vegan Gains because I was like, oh, he's huge. Like, he eats vegan, like, okay, this is doable, like, and I'm going into this season of track, like, so track season starts, like, after practice, I would be hanging out with my friends, and they would all be smoking, and I would be smoking, like, like, my diet was basically weed, and then I would go home and eat a salad, with some fruit, like a watermelon, or I'd have some bananas, and that would be it. I would fall asleep, like thinking, keeping my body alkaline. And I would wake up in the morning, I would have lemon water with the turmeric. And then throughout the whole day, like, my stomach would just be growling so hard.

[video] 11:51 Like, I obviously was hungry for something. Like, I felt But in my mind, I'm like, oh, no, this is just my addiction to like cooked food. And like, oh, I just, I'm just, I need to just put that off. Like, it's just me, my addiction to cook food or whatever.

12:09 Who got you into that? This cooked food fear? The phobia?

[video] 12:14 I think it was Ted Carr.

12:19 Oh, okay.

[video] 12:19 That dude. Because he was like a swimmer or whatever. And I was like,

12:24 The guy who looks 50 in his 20s.

[video] 12:27 Yeah, that was fucking, that was like, holy shit. Like his gray hair.

[video] 12:33 But like, I'm like, okay, he's like, didn't he say he was like Olympic swimmer or something?

12:38 That's probably lying. Yeah.

[video] 12:42 He had these videos of him like doing some like swim practice or something. Yeah, I got totally brainwashed into that deal. um, so, yeah, like, I stopped eating cooked foods, but that was only for, like, a month, because here in Indiana, like, it gets fucking cold, so, like, I started eating rice and beans in, like, February and March, I was eating, I would do, like, these sweet potato, like,

[video] 13:21 baked in the oven like I would do something with like nuts and seeds on sweet potatoes and like a lot of fruit a lot of fruit plus sugar like I would get teas and the raw I would get raw cane sugar because raw cane sugar is so much better for you and I would put that in the teas and I would like drink that during the school day like and because that feeling I would get during the day that I'm just sitting in classes and stuff I would be drinking this sugar water and then after practice I would eat like a salad you know like the rice and bean dish and fruit but over the time like I noticed like all my friends are progressing on the team they're all getting faster I'm showing up to every practice like

[video] 14:19 And I'm just getting smaller and smaller. Like I'm just getting weak. My knees, like I would wake up crying in the morning. Like crying from how bad my legs would hurt. And like I was taking Excedrin. I was taking Excedrin and I was taking like 800 milligrams of ibuprofen. Yeah.

14:44 But at the time, did you eat enough? You weren't starving anymore. Because you said at first you were pretty much hardly eating anything. Or did you still eat very little?

[video] 14:57 Like during February and March? Oh, was I eating enough then? No, I was eating that same sugar water. I would just down... I would cover up the pain with the pills. My legs, like I had extreme shin splints, which is like common with track runners. So it's just common thing. So I was like, oh, how do I deal with this? And I was talking to my coach about it. And he's like, you know, that's you can't really like heal it like he did track in college. And he said, you kind of just have to deal with it if you want to run. And I did. I would suffer through it. And nothing occurred to me to, hey, you should maybe eat some meat or do something like that. But I would just take pain pills.

[video] 15:56 I took like 800 milligrams of ibuprofen and just to mask it before my practice. And then after practice, like once it would wear off, my legs would just be killing me. and excruciating pain. So I would be smoking after that once the pain pills will wear off.

16:24 Do you think it would be different if you ate more? No.

16:35 No? So it's just a lack of animal foods, essentially?

[video] 16:43 Like you're basically eating yourself when you're running, right? Like it's a catabolic state. And so I think me doing the diet plus smoking so heavily after practice and then continuously like pushing myself and pushing myself each practice, it got to the point where like I was like violent like I was so irritated with just the smallest things would just set me off and I would just be like total anger like I was dating this exchange student from Russia when I was a senior and like obviously it was kind of a little difficult like conversating.

17:39 Yeah.

[video] 17:40 on the daily so me doing that and then smoking like it just got like we would have like fights and stuff and i kicked her out of my car a few times and it just was getting bad like i thought she was a russian spy it was it was bad and uh

[video] 18:08 that's not even the worst part about it like going on uh I would like once we had graduated uh she went back to Russia and like we would FaceTime with each other to like keep it going like a relationship but obviously it was gonna eventually end but like, I would call her on FaceTime just, like, totally freaking out, like, I'm just, like, yelling at her, calling all of these names, saying she's doing this and that, like, just all this, like, like, I've always been kind of involved in, like, I've listened to conspiracies and stuff like that, so that was kind of in my head, and just, I was, I was delusional, like, I didn't know what was going, like, I wasn't, like,

[video] 19:07 total psychosis sometimes that I would I would just be so scared I would like just go hide in my room or something like it got so bad that I was working at this uh pizza place in my town and I had to quit because like I would I didn't know what reality was anymore like I was just freaking the fuck out like I was thinking like I was the antichrist I was like i'm i'm like the devil like i'm gonna be the like leader of the new world order and shit like this like yeah that's pretty nice yeah it was like scary it was like thinking back on it now i look at myself like i'm totally fucking crazy but

[video] 20:04 was just I don't know how much of that would you say was the drugs and how much was it the veganism and the starvation I would honestly I would say equal yeah because of how how I've noticed from being vegan to now eating me when I like not even just like eating meat but like like getting like feeling nourished feeling like I'm like I'm entered like I'm truly energized because also during the track season I was drinking caffeine like heavy coffee I had I had bought these caffeine pills I saw them yesterday in the shop actually yeah don't take those yeah it was funny I couldn't believe that people actually take them well like

[video] 21:01 I honestly I didn't I didn't I wasn't believing that I was taking them like of all people I knew that this shit was bad and I knew I could I noticed my hair was thinning too like my hair has thin cool like a tremendous amount not I wouldn't I wouldn't say tremendous amount but like like my hair is just pretty thick but I noticed along my hairline and stuff it was it was getting thinner and thinner from just I would literally sometimes go to the gym, work out after practice.

21:39 Right.

[video] 21:39 And it's just the stress. I think it was definitely a combination of the vegan diet, the drugs, and the amount of stress that I was putting my body under, 100%.

21:54 still trying to figure out how you got into veganism in the first place you said it was because of the acid and then you had all these feelings about how you should be but did you also have some other influence from somewhere how did you think of exactly growing vegan and stopping animal foods was it just something that you didn't even understand it was in your subconscious from how you grew up or from the tv media or some kind of influence from somewhere well growing up like

[video] 22:24 in the public school system and stuff like that watching tv like always they've always been you know eat fruits and vegetables eat your eat your fruits and vegetables like it's the best for you like you need to eat them to be healthy like you need to eat them to be healthy right and so i'm like okay if that's the truth then that's what i'm gonna do like if that's fact i'm gonna eat

22:51 fruits and vegetables if that's the healthiest way to eat you know what i mean that makes sense another question uh how do you see the future of veganism where do you think it's heading uh you think it's gonna get more popular or what yeah i definitely would say it's getting more popular but now like

[video] 23:18 I can't, like, okay, say I was still vegan, I would be, like, telling you, like, oh, it's gonna be this and that, like, everyone's gonna be, but now, like, thinking about veganism, I just, I'm like, hell no, there's no fucking way I would even just, and especially after seeing, like, I've seen people, like, they're super healthy on the vegan diet and all this shit, like, I got clear skin now, and all of this, and I was like, okay, that's great. Wow, I just lost my train of thought.

[video] 23:57 Oh.

23:58 The future of veganism. Yeah, the future of veganism. How some people believe that it cures acne. Yeah. You don't believe that, or what did you want to say?

[video] 24:07 Yeah, what was I trying to fucking say? I was trying to say something.

24:13 Do you still smoke weed?

[video] 24:15 Yeah, I do. Okay.

[video] 24:18 So that makes sense.

24:20 It's all right. I think approximately I got it. I get what you mean. But like... Yeah, it's fine. Go on. Yeah, if you have something to say.

[video] 24:43 I'm trying to think.

24:44 No, I think that people understand what you were going to say. So do you regret the whole thing now?

[video] 24:54 No, I don't regret it at all because it's shown me what actual being healthy and enjoying every day. Like, there's no need. What's the point of feeling like shit today, but, like, next week I'm going to feel better? Hmm. You know, like with the veganism, they're like, okay, you need to eat this way for three years until you see any results. And this whole three-year period, you're going to feel like shit. I'm like, what do you mean I'm going to feel like shit for three years? Oh, your body is getting rid of all the bad in you. And I'm like, okay, so it's going to take three years. But if I eat some raw egg yolks or if I eat some meat, I feel better immediately.

[video] 25:52 I ate some raw liver and my skin clears up immediately.

[video] 26:00 Because you're getting the vitamins right then and there. That's how it's supposed to go into you and that's how it works.

[video] 26:12 and yeah yeah yeah it's a good message to the vegans anything else you would like to add any experience or something you learned from the whole thing yeah that a lot of the saneness and like people that they're i don't know they're they're some of them are a lot of they're a lot of pussies i think there are a lot of pussies and like

[video] 26:44 yeah fuck vegan gains fuck him yeah fuck vegan gains I think he needs to I don't know what he needs to do but he should stop making YouTube videos and get a job doing something I don't know I don't like yeah fuck vegan gains yeah um

[video] 27:16 And Ted Carr.

27:18 Yeah.

[video] 27:19 Because he really got me into, like, some weird shit. Like, trying to do weird shit, like, sprouting chia seeds and, like, fruit. Like, how ripe I would, like, try and get my fruit. It would just be disgusting. Like, I would have bananas, like, just, like, 12 fucking dozen bananas, like, sitting on my counter, like, My dad and stuff are like, are you going to eat them yet? Why do you get all these bananas? I'm like, oh no. They don't have enough vitamins in them yet. I got to let them get all dark and black.

28:00 Yeah.

28:04 Yeah, man. If that's it, then thanks for sharing your story.