Ex-Vegan (2+ Years): 22 Years of Meat Deprivation Led to Severe Mental & Physical Damage

Watch on YouTube · 2019-01-07 · 53 min

0:00 All right, introduce yourself and talk about when you got into vegetarianism, veganism, why you stopped eating meat, and why at such a young age, what got you into it, and then how it unfolded, okay?

[video] 0:14 Okay, hello, my name is Anna, and let's see, I have been, well, I would say that when I was 12 years old, my mother announced at dinnertime that she was going to stop cooking red meat and preparing it. And at the time, I was kind of like, oh, that's kind of interesting. I had never been very drawn to meat in the first place.

[video] 0:49 My mom was very much influenced by the low-fat, high-carb diet. And we ate a lot of spaghetti and bread. chili, yeah, sandwiches. I remember that we would eat like toast and she would praise us for not putting butter on it. She's like, I raised you well. So I kind of was very much influenced like that. And even just growing up, I just never enjoyed meat. If I remember the times that I did enjoy meat, in retrospect, it was always because there was some sweet thing that was served with it. If we ever went to McDonald's, which wasn't often, but I liked the chicken McNuggets because you got to dip it in honey. Or I enjoyed lamb chops when you put a bunch of applesauce on it. Or when we went to Chinese restaurants, I got the mango chicken, something really sweet and sugary.

[video] 1:48 So I was very much addicted to sweets all my life. And I think that's largely... I'm not exactly sure why that is, except that when I was... a baby I feel like I was kind of doomed from the start just when I was born I feel like both my parents had amalgam fillings and so they had some mercury in their systems and I feel like I was born with already kind of at a disadvantage with mercury and then I had I dealt with all kinds of ear infections

[video] 2:31 I dealt with a significant hearing impairment that my mom isn't sure, but she suspects that it might have been connected to a round of vaccinations I got when I was little.

[video] 2:51 So I think that, oh, and then I also, I refused breastfeeding when I was a baby. And so I got placed on formula, which is sugary.

3:02 You refused it yourself?

[video] 3:04 Yes. Yeah, I was hospitalized for an ear infection and I had tubes put in my ears. And after that, I just, I refused the breast. And I think it's because I couldn't suck. It was a frustrating thing for me. I wasn't getting enough milk. So in the bottle I could just like, you know, pour it into my mouth. So, and, um, I think from there on I was just, I was just hooked on sugar. Yeah. So that's, I just always gravitated towards, um, plant foods sweets that just never really wanted to meet. So when my mom made that announcement when I was 12, um, they kind of, a light bulb kind of went off and I was like, well, I could just be a vegetarian. I kind of learned about it and I was like, you know, if I call myself a vegetarian, then I don't even have to eat meat. I can just eat the plants and the sweets and I'll deal with it. So it wasn't really for ethical reasons or anything. It was just a preference thing.

[video] 4:04 I was totally plant adapted.

4:07 How often did you eat animal products at the start? Just some dairy here and there?

[video] 4:13 At the start, meaning...

4:15 When you were 12?

[video] 4:17 When I was 12. Yeah, I think that I would have some eggs here and there. I remember my dad would make a cheese omelette sometimes. And I loved ice cream and yogurt. Okay. But as time went on, I gradually became less inclined to eat those things. It just didn't appeal to me. Cheese didn't appeal to me so much. And also I was kind of indoctrinated into believing that those things weren't very good for me either. So it was a two-fold thing.

[video] 5:01 now when you look back at it when did you first notice some health health problems so i had a lot of issues growing up that i never associated with diet i would say that a big one was that i was incredibly spacey I had a really, really hard time staying present, staying focused. People called me a space cadet. I was always just kind of like with my head in the clouds, like, Anna, Anna. And also I was hard of hearing. So that just exacerbated the whole thing. So I always kind of had my head up in the clouds and just didn't feel present in my body. There always just seemed to be something wrong with me in that sense. And I really...

[video] 5:54 Later I went into psychology and I learned all about the autism spectrum. And I definitely felt like I fell on that spectrum. Not severely, but enough to struggle with social cues and bonding. All of that was really hard for me. It just seemed like it came easier to other people to connect. I just felt like there was something missing for me. Things just weren't intuitive. And I had to do a lot of mimicking. In a sense.

[video] 6:27 So... Actually, I have a list of the issues that I dealt with. So I was always cold. Just freezing. I had really dry, brittle hair. And I was extremely hairy. Like, my arm, it was just this dark black hair on my arms and legs. And I would even bleach it because I was just embarrassed by it.

6:51 You got it when you were starving, basically? When your body was trying to...

[video] 6:55 I believe that's why, yeah.

6:57 Make you more warm.

[video] 6:59 Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it was, yeah, creating a coating or something, just as an effort on my body to protect myself. Chronic tooth decay, especially starting at like age 13. Every time I went to the dentist, I just had more fillings done. It was just constant. I was just constantly getting my teeth drilled.

[video] 7:24 I never sweated, I just did not sweat. So I don't know what that's related to, but I know that really affected my ability to detox. Most people can sweat and detox, and I think I was just very slowly accumulating this toxic load.

[video] 7:44 Um, skin problems. I was, I always had a fungal problems on my feet, athlete's foot and, um, cystic acne, like really bad, uh, like painful welts. I'd always feel them like budding and then just erupting. And it was just, um, could not do anything. Just, I took all kinds of, um, most, I did mostly topical antibiotic medications, but I did that all through my adolescence pretty much. Hmm.

[video] 8:16 My menstruation was not good. It was always very scant and late. And it only lasted a few days.

[video] 8:28 I became increasingly hermit-like. The more I got into... In my teens and twenties, it was just harder and harder for me to be social. It was effort. So I enjoyed people.

[video] 8:44 socializing and being with my friends, but it was exhausting for me and I'd always need to come home and sort of recover and sort of get my energy back.

[video] 8:57 I was always tired, constantly tired, like I never could get enough sleep. Got really hooked on coffee.

[video] 9:07 Oh yeah, and then later, so,

[video] 9:14 I went to grad school and got my degree in marriage and family therapy and worked at a treatment center for at-risk youth in Petaluma. And for a lot of that time, I worked as the medical coordinator. And it was like when I was on call 24-7. So anytime there was a crisis, a medical crisis, and later I worked as a psychiatric on-call director too. And so the phone was always about to ring. There's some kidneys you hospitalized. And obviously, these are at-risk youth, and so they have a more disproportionate amount of medical problems, physical problems. So a lot of stress. I could never really relax. And so I was always drained. And this is something that...

[video] 10:11 It's a, I feel like I never, I don't usually, I haven't ever really shared this, but I want to share this. Um, that when I was medical coordinator, I was responsible for all the medications and, um, I, um, discovered the, the, the benefit for me of psychostimulants, um, which is basically pharmaceutical speed as the psychiatrist Howard always called it. Um, I was so exhausted all the time that I would, take this medication that was supposed to be disposed of I didn't actually take from the kids but and I would microdose with psychostimulants just to keep myself awake because it was just too draining otherwise I lived in a really bland world everything was just black and white I had a really hard time accessing my emotions or feeling anything I could appreciate things. I was a very cerebral person. Uh, I really relied on my mind.

[video] 11:11 And, um, so like if I saw, if I was like at the beach or in the woods or something, I could see that everything was beautiful. Uh, just purely from a, like a cognitive standpoint, but I couldn't, I couldn't appreciate it just as a felt experience. I couldn't feel beauty. I couldn't really feel love. Like I love people with my mind, I dated, you know, I was in several really long-term relationships, and I always felt like they loved me in a way that I couldn't love them. It's like I loved them with my mind, like I loved who they were, you know, they were wonderful people, but yeah, there was definitely like a feeling sensation that I knew I was missing out on.

[video] 12:01 Uh, I was really slow to respond or process conversation. Like I, uh, in, in conversation, somebody would say something and it would always just be kind of a delayed reaction. It was just hard for me to, uh, you know, like an hour later, I'd be like, Oh, I have all these things I want to say now, but it was just a very slow processing speed. Um, my digestion was horrible. Um, But I didn't notice, like I ate, when I ate, I didn't feel any sort of discomfort, but my stools were really bad. They were, they always were like super pale and they floated, always, which indicates a severe fat malabsorption. So I never absorbed fat. And I believe that's, I just ate a very high grain based diet. So, just lots of bread and,

[video] 12:59 and sugar too, lots of fruits, lots of dried fruit and chocolate. I was a chocolate addict. And as time went on, I became more and more compulsive with my eating. I could never eat enough, just binged. I was very ashamed of this and I went to like Overeaters Anonymous even just to try to get, I thought it was something just like a failing of mine that I couldn't control my,

[video] 13:27 compulsive eating patterns. Um, it's always like sugary, high carbohydrate food that, um, once I started just, and it was like around the clock, I could wake up and like have to eat and then just, just, I would never let very much time go. Just always felt insatiated. Um,

[video] 13:53 Yeah, but of course I never associated this with my diet at all. I always thought this was the right way to eat. Culturally, vegetarianism is really supported.

[video] 14:06 It was easy for me to go into veganism. I was trying to reflect and probably would go through... I would say that I was vegan for many periods over the 22 years of eating mostly a plant-based diet. I'd say the longest time was about a year. How old were you then? It was like early to mid-20s. I don't know exactly when.

14:32 Did you feel any difference then when you didn't eat any dairy or eggs at all? Anything that was different?

[video] 14:39 I think, no, not really. Just spaced out. That's how I remember being, was just always spaced out and just tired. Always just wanting to drink coffee and needing something. Like, oh, and never feeling satisfied. Like, I can never really just rest. It's just always just this urge to just feel better. Just craving to feel better.

15:04 How do you think it would be if you didn't eat any dairy or eggs at all in those 22 years? Yeah.

[video] 15:15 It's hard to imagine it having been much worse than it was because honestly, like even when I did eat eggs or dairy, I don't think I metabolized it. I think my gut was already so shredded up and damaged.

15:26 Was it always cooked and pasteurized?

[video] 15:28 It was always cooked and pasteurized. Yeah, definitely. So yeah, but I think that I knew that I couldn't handle dairy and that's why I didn't want it because, um, even though I couldn't feel it, it's like, Oh, like it just, It just didn't feel to me. Really, it was just all about the vegetable, the stir fries, the salads, big salads, nuts, avocados, hummus, I eat a lot of hummus, smoothies, soups, but I didn't really know I ate a lot of vegetables. Here's the thing, I never got sick. And so that's why I thought that this was such a good diet. Because I ate a lot of vegetables and I'm like, hey, I never get sick. And now I know it's because my immune system was so shot.

[video] 16:28 I always had really dry mucous membranes. I never sneezed. I never vomited.

16:37 That's also why you didn't sweat?

[video] 16:39 Yeah.

16:40 Yeah.

[video] 16:40 For sure. Yeah, it's all just totally shut down. Yeah. So I think that there just came a point, it didn't even matter what I ate. Like even, and I'll get into this, like I wish I could say that I just started introducing meat and all these problems resolved, but really quite the opposite is true. I started to feel how incredibly sick I was. So yeah, there just came a point when everything I ate really just, I didn't metabolize it, I think.

17:04 What was the tipping point? Why did you start eating meat again then?

[video] 17:09 So at age 33, this was 2013,

[video] 17:15 shit just kind of started to hit the fan. I was just kind of going along, not really feeling anything, but I was still kind of trucking along. Things just started to get really bad when I was 33. My skin problems started to get really bad. My acne just started getting way worse. My hearing really started to decline to the point that I was starting to get depressed about it because

[video] 17:44 you know, as a therapist, you need to be able to hear people. I worked with these troubled teens, and you always need to be able to, like, hear their conversations and be alert to what's going on, and I was just, like, having a really hard time. So I was already starting to realize, hey, I'm probably going to have to, like, let go of my life in the hearing world. I got, like, a really, really expensive pair of hearing aids. I wore hearing aids growing up, and I spent $5,000 on a pair of

[video] 18:15 the state-of-the-art hearing aids, and I had the volumes cranked all the way up just to be able to function, which I also believe just continued to damage my ears more and more. You don't want amplification so intense in your ears.

[video] 18:35 And I got a really bad foot injury.

[video] 18:40 I was practicing a dance move, and it's like a gliding move. It puts stress on the forefoot. And then all of a sudden, I felt something slip in the metatarsal joints. And it was really painful. And from then on, I could not walk on my forefoot. It just felt like there was a rock in there. And I tried everything. I tried physical therapy. I had to wear this boot for forever, basically, because any time I took the boot off, you know, it started to heal. The inflammation started to go away. I took the boot off and it would just re-injure every time I stepped on it. I had cortisone shots and got like special orthotics made and did all kinds of therapies and there was just nothing. So that put me on my best, like that prevented me from being able to move much. So, which made me just more depressed because I just, I loved to dance and couldn't do that anymore.

[video] 19:38 Yeah, and then all that time I was staying up late and working long hours and on call all the time.

[video] 19:51 Could not, my ability to, my inability to focus got worse. I was always trying to meditate because I practice Buddhism and I mean, anybody struggles to follow their breath, but I really, I just could not follow my breath. Like even my breath was just kind of erratic. There was, I noticed that like other people kind of had just a regular even breathing and my breath just, I just wasn't breathing. Like I take a breath and then didn't breathe anymore until it was like, until I was like out of oxygen and just needed to take another breath. So, um,

[video] 20:37 So all these things are happening, and I'm like, what the hell is wrong with me? Why am I having all these problems? I'm only 33. I went to the doctor, and they're always happy to prescribe more acne meds or sleep meds or pain meds. But I'm just like, why am I having acne at this age? What's going on with me? Oh, and my menstruation was getting more and more scant and just not present.

[video] 21:10 So I started to do some more research. I wasn't getting help and I was like, there's something, this is just, this is just wrong. Like there's something seriously wrong going on here. And just started to do more research about food and came across a diet called the autoimmune paleo diet, AIP. And it just sort of dawned on me like, oh my God, all this time, maybe I should have been eating meat and maybe like these, you know, I ate such a grain heavy diet and I was learning about gut damage. Um, and how it's, uh, this, this, the, um, the, um, when grains aren't sprouted, they, there, there, it's like, it's almost, it's almost like razor sharp on the, on the, on the intestinal tract. And, um, so then there's the whole thing about the leaky gut and,

[video] 22:06 Like, oh my God, I think I might just have a very profound like toxin overload and damaged gut. So I'm like, okay, I guess I need to start eating meat. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that. Like there were times when I, like towards the end I was, I did eat some fish and I think intuitively I just sort of knew that this might be a good thing.

22:29 How old were you then when you ate the fish?

[video] 22:35 Like probably like mid to late 20s. It was when I started to... I'd go to my parents' house and they'd cook fish. And I'd eat like a salmon burger, which is just like frozen canola oil filled thing. But again, I just wasn't drawn to it. It was like... How often was that? I didn't eat fish often at all.

22:59 Once a month?

[video] 23:03 Probably. Maybe a little more than that.

23:05 Did you try any fish, any kind of meat the whole time since you were 12?

23:13 Anything at all?

[video] 23:14 Yeah, I think that for most of that time I was pretty strict vegetarian. But I think that there probably were times when I would eat fish.

[video] 23:32 Honestly, I can't remember. My parents would have it better. But again, I think it doesn't even matter if I ate it or not. I don't think I metabolized it. It was kind of gross to me.

23:44 No red meat?

[video] 23:45 No, no. I lived in Argentina for a couple of years. For a year and a half, or a little over a year and a half.

[video] 23:54 they have these asados every Saturday where they get together and they just like kind of grill the meat all afternoon and it's just a very celebrated thing and it's kind of a weird thing that I was there as a vegetarian and I didn't eat any meat so I felt like I should try it just as a just as respect um and so I tried like a little piece and it was like It didn't taste good to me at all. It just tasted like exactly how I remembered meat and it wasn't a feeling.

24:26 Just to clarify, when you lived with your parents at first, in your teen years, then you ate some fish here and there? No. You said your parents would remember. Maybe sometimes you tried it? Were you very strict?

[video] 24:43 When I was in my teens, I was pretty wedded to being a vegetarian.

24:47 Okay, so very strict, yeah. Yeah. Okay, right. And then you tried veganism here and there for the year. How long would you say you were vegan then all together you tried it for one year and then some months here and there?

[video] 25:03 I think I only called myself a vegan for one streak, for like that year streak.

25:08 Okay.

[video] 25:10 But again, like I ate... I ate a vegan diet, like, most of the time. So, it's like a plant-based vegan diet most of the time. But I would eat eggs. Like, I wasn't, like, if... Yeah, like, we'd go out. Like, I was with my friends. We'd go out to a diner or something. And I might eat, like, an omelette or something like that. But it seemed like it was more of a social thing than when I was on my own. Like, I wasn't cooking eggs.

[video] 25:42 or eating cheese and things like that, although I would eat ice cream.

25:47 So how often did you eat the fish, even if it wasn't really on purpose and only on a social occasion, between your teen years and the late 20s then? Because in the late 20s you started a little bit, and your parents maybe gave you some here and there when you were a teen, and then in between also?

26:12 So if you didn't, it was very rare, I guess, because you can't remember.

[video] 26:18 Yeah, I don't remember eating a lot of fish. I remember when I traveled with my friend in Europe for several months, I remember it was hard. He was also vegetarian in Spain.

[video] 26:34 We wanted paella, but there's always fish residue in there.

[video] 26:40 We were pretty devoted to that.

26:42 Okay, so it was quite strict, yeah.

[video] 26:45 It was like, yeah. And because it was just not appealing to me. That's the thing. It just didn't taste good to me. So it was more to, when I was with others who were eating that, I might do it, just because during the times that I wasn't strict.

27:06 So you did go years without eating any fish at all? Yes. Yeah, definitely. Just trying to make sure.

[video] 27:14 Most years, yeah. So I decided that it was time to eat more meat. Eat meat. But I didn't know how to cook it.

[video] 27:32 I learned that bone broth would be good for gut healing. So I'm like, OK, I made a bunch of bone broth. And that was a traumatic experience, because I didn't know at the time that all the fat kind of floats to the top. So I just poured some into a bowl, and I just drank. It wasn't even a big bowl. Oh, it made me so sick. I was sick for like days. Just this horrible, full feeling. Just like, oh, how can people drink this? It was just nasty to me. And the first organ meat that I tried was kidney. And that was traumatic. Because even now, and I don't know if it was because it was the first one I tried, but it was disgusting. And I'm like, how can people... People eat this. And so, but the main thing that I was eating was canned stuff. Canned salmon, canned sardines, canned tuna.

[video] 28:29 And I would just like plop it on top of my salad and just sort of like drench it with dressing and And that's really, um, that was a real mistake because, um, I didn't know the value of eating fresh meat. And I started breaking out into these horrible hives, um, which I later learned was a histamine problem. So, and that got so bad that I, um, my history of histamine intolerance got so bad that I couldn't, uh, eat anything that had been even just like the slightest bit aged. I couldn't handle any sort of fermented food. Um, even leftover foods, like from the fridge the next day, like would create an itchy sensation. So, and that was just the beginning. Um, after that it was, it's ironic, but after I started to introduce the meat, I started to get, um, increasingly sick. I developed, oh, and also eliminating foods. Um, so it started as AIP diet.

[video] 29:28 Um, I just got sicker and sicker. I just started to like, my body just started to just, it was almost like,

[video] 29:37 For the first time, I was really just feeling how sick I was. I started to lose my hair. All my hair started to fall out. My eyebrows got thinner. I lost my eyelashes.

[video] 29:48 All of my skin started to just erupt even worse.

[video] 29:58 And then my stools, like my digestion, just suddenly just took a horrible turn. I remember one night I had eaten this, because that's the thing, I never stopped eating the fruit. I had a real serious fruit addiction. And I loved this banana ice cream stuff. You'd freeze the bananas and puree it. And one night I ate some and I woke up just belching. Just the weirdest thing. I never experienced that before. And then From then on, I developed this condition called SIBO, small intestinal bacterial overgrowth, where I was constantly bloated, except it was severe in that I couldn't tolerate pretty much any carbohydrates, any plants. I would spend most of my time in the bathroom. I was pretty much chained to the bathroom.

[video] 30:57 I passed just like really small,

[video] 31:01 stools that were really hard to pass it was like a combination of constipation and diarrhea all the time um just miserable i was like a prisoner to the toilet so um yeah always bloated up like a balloon um all kinds of like skin rashes um stop menstruating altogether uh insomnia um

[video] 31:30 I started to always wake up at 3 o'clock by clockwork. Just 3 o'clock, I'm wide awake. And then I'd spend the whole rest of the day just totally fatigued.

[video] 31:44 My brain functioning got really, really bad. I couldn't commit anything to memory. I was trying to study for these exams, the MFT exams. And there's just a lot of information you have to learn. And I would study something over and over and over. trying to memorize it and I could not memorize it. I would make acronyms, I would just try to do all these techniques and it was just like mush, just pure mush.

[video] 32:18 Brain fog all the time. Chronic pain, my foot was still a problem and then

[video] 32:31 So I couldn't walk. So I was pretty much chained to my apartment. And by this time, Family Life Center, the treatment center that I worked for, shut down. And due to lack of funding, which is really a sad thing because it's such a good program, but it's just California. But I took this as an opportunity just to stay home. There's no way I can work. I just have to stay home and heal. So I proceeded to...

[video] 33:01 just suffer with all of these, um, oh, fibromyalgia started to come up. I was like, just, I had, um, just a real stiff, just stiff body, just crunchy, stiff body. Like I was always throwing things out. Um, my neck, like I was like bedridden for like five days. I couldn't leave my bed cause I was in so much pain. I just had to like, just sit there just frozen cause I couldn't move. And, um,

[video] 33:29 Yeah, just extreme intolerance to all kinds of foods. All I could eat... Oh, and so at that time, I was horrified that all I could eat was meat and fat. That was the only thing I could tolerate. And, like, maybe some leafy greens. But at the time, I thought that was really bad because I thought you needed to eat vegetables in order to be healthy. So I was always trying to force myself to eat salads and, you know, just...

[video] 33:56 fermented stuff, all these things that are, you know, supposed to be really good.

[video] 34:06 So, oh yeah, I couldn't tolerate sea vegetables. It literally, like when I ate sea vegetables, like kelp and stuff, I literally felt my brain turn black. It's the weirdest thing. Like I literally, like everything just was black. And I later made the connection that I had the mercury poisoning. I myself had four amalgam fillings that were cracked. And so this whole time, I was... Oh, and I also had a bruxism issue where I was constantly grinding. Like at night, I'd clench and grind my teeth. And the residue from that, those materials, it just... Even if you get like a tortilla chip or something, it... it releases in the form of vapor, basically, and then it just absorbs into your tissues, and then just knocks out all of your minerals, basically. Mercury just robs you of your minerals.

[video] 35:04 And it's just a very potent neurotoxin, which is why I was having such incredible brain problems.

[video] 35:12 And I realized that's why I was having such a reaction to the sea vegetables, because the high iodine content would kick out the mercury, as a detox, but it was just too intense for me, and yeah, it made me feel pretty terrible. So I had those replaced. So I had my fillings taken out, and for about two days, all of a sudden, I just felt so much better. I was just like, wow, this is amazing. It was almost like my body knew that I had had those taken out, but then after two days, I felt everything worse than ever because then it was just like, okay, now it's time to detox. So then I learned all about detoxification. I really just studied so much about all the detox pathways and how to get those mobilized.

[video] 36:09 And during that time, oh yeah, so with the most intense mercury poisoning, I literally actually became autistic. that those autism symptoms I was having became more and more intensified to the point that it was very, very hard for me to be social. I really just sort of fell into this black hole. I didn't respond to people's phone calls or texts or anything. I just didn't want to see anybody. I was just in so much pain. just in my own world, I was like inside my head and I was just like rock, like this, like have a blanket around me and just hold myself really, really tight and just wait for the day to be over basically.

36:53 That's crazy.

[video] 37:02 Yeah, so then I started to get really, I'm still really not sure how I came across this realization about how important the skin is for healing. But I've always been very sensitive to skin. I've always enjoyed having my skin touched and dry brushing, and that's another sort of autism thing.

[video] 37:30 But I figured out how to heal my foot through healing the skin. through certain exercises. And that kind of got me fascinated, and so then my shift became, rather than just detox and just general healing, trying to heal a gut, I'm gonna focus on healing my skin.

[video] 37:58 Yeah, that's like a whole other, that's a whole other...

38:03 Do you want to talk about what you eat right now and how you got into that?

[video] 38:07 Yes. Yeah, sure. So I eat raw meat. That's my main staple. And some raw dairy. And that is pretty much it.

[video] 38:23 got really into fasting for a while. That was one thing that helped me detox, basically. And this last time, over the summer, I fasted for 18 days with just water. And I was going to go 21, but on day 18, I just got so hungry all of a sudden. And I always told myself, when I get hungry, that's what I'm going to eat. And the whole time that I was fasting, I really wanted to break my fast the correct way because I'd fasted before and I'd always had a really hard time readjusting to eating. I wouldn't digest well. I would break it on like fruits, some kind of plant food usually, and just, it would kind of just go right through me.

[video] 39:14 And then, but because you've already reintroduced food, it's like you can't think about anything else. Like it just switches on this like, this, this intense craving to, to want to eat just all the time. So to, to space it out and just eat like a little bite here and then wait four hours and then eat another little bite. And then it just didn't work for me. I was just, I just needed to eat. So this time I was like, I really want to break this right. And I watched a lot of videos and I'm like, how do you break a longterm fast? And it all advocated plants. And it didn't make sense to me because I like to think, um, in broad terms, in terms of like our evolutionary history. And, you know, there wouldn't be game maybe, like way back in prehistoric times. And so people would be fasting. And then you get game. You get like a bison or something. And then you feast. Like you bring it back to the tribe and everybody like, there's no,

[video] 40:14 like refeeding thing where you have to like eat a little bit. And that just didn't, it just didn't resonate as, as true for me that that's what they experienced. So it made sense to me to break the, the fast on meat. And it also made sense to break it on raw meat, even though I had never, um, eaten raw meat. So I thought, what if I were to break it on raw salmon? Like that seemed because people eat sashimi and things like that. And but I was really scared. I was like, I want to find sushi grade salmon, you know, it has to be super fresh. And so I was planning to get that for day 21. But on day 18 I was so hungry and I was like calling around and like, do you have sushi grade salmon? And they're like, no, we don't have that. I'm sorry. And so I was like, screw it. So I just looked in my freezer and I had, um, prawns. I had a big bag of prawns and so I just cooked them and I just ate a ton of prawns and they tasted so good. And there was no problem whatsoever with my gut.

[video] 41:14 Like it felt really good. It's like, oh, it's like so nourishing. My bowel movement was great. So I was like, there's definitely something to this. Like meat is so kind to the gut. And it just doesn't make sense that you would be breaking your fast on watermelon when watermelon hasn't even been around for very long. Like, You know, people back in the ancient days when they fasted, they weren't, they didn't have like their vegetable gardens where they would like harvest the stuff and bake their fast on that. Didn't make any sense. So, but that experience and this sort of like interest in the raw meat just got me interested in the idea and just started, um, Googling eating raw meat. And, um, I came across, um, I didn't find you yet, uh, Yeah, I think it was Frank Trufano. Yeah, yeah.

[video] 42:11 So he made me realize that that's a thing, like this carnivore, this raw carnivore thing. And then I learned about the high meats through the raw primal family guy. I don't know what his name is. Ryan. Ryan, yes. And then he... he had you referenced. And so then I found you. Because it's just such a foreign thing. God, eating raw meat. How do you do that? And don't you have to take precautions? And I watched one of your What I Eat in a Day videos, and you just had You just had like a steak and you're like, this is how you do it. You pick it up with your hands and you just eat it. I'm like, wow, it's that easy. So, so I'm all about, um, just the right, like the healing, the, the, whatever's best for the body.

[video] 43:08 Like, I don't care if I don't like it, honestly, like I want to feel good and, um, I want to, I want to be at my optimal health so I can help others. heal too.

43:18 It's funny how you went from finding meat disgusting to eating raw meat. What do you think happened mentally exactly?

[video] 43:27 I have a theory in that we're so controlled. I'm reading a book right now called This is Your Brain on Parasites and it's really fascinating how the microbes in our bodies really control our brain and what we want and what we desire. And my whole microbiome was completely built to eat plants. And you have to have a strong microbiome to eat plants. So that's why when people fast, they can't tolerate plants when they eat them because all that bacteria goes away and you're just completely sterile. So without any bacteria, the only thing that you can really eat is meat.

[video] 44:11 I was so, my whole body was just so plant adapted, like the microbes in me just wanted to eat plants, they just wanted their sugars. So that's what controlled my brain to make me believe what was good for me and what I wanted. When I started to introduce meat, that actually, I think that actually like kills the bacteria, the plant loving bacteria.

44:36 Do you believe it would be different if you were breastfed and you had a normal gut bio?

[video] 44:41 if I had been breastfed longer. Yeah. I, I, I suspect. Yeah. Cause I so quickly was, um, uh, just, I just had this sugary, um, fake formula, um, going into my belly and that immediately started to create, um, this particular microbiome. Yeah. And so that's just, it was just doomed from there. The, the meat and the, the animal products just, um, is not compatible with that microbiome.

45:14 What do you think is going to happen with this whole vegan movement?

45:21 What's the future?

[video] 45:23 Yeah, it's a pretty sad thing. There's so much suffering with the veganism and people don't know it. It's so hard to make that connection that the symptoms that you're having are because of the diet. Because it just feels so right and it's just so supported socially. You're almost, like, honored. Like, oh, you're a vegan. Like, you're so respected. Like, you're a vegetarian. Like, yes, let me accommodate you. Like, there's just no question. So... So we get duped. And that's scary. Because...

[video] 46:08 It's a movement, it's a growing sensation and people get really wedded to that lifestyle. It's a whole lifestyle, like we were saying, it's a religion.

46:22 Would you say that somebody is controlling it and pushing it or is it just man-made and it's a trend and people are just falling for it by themselves?

[video] 46:32 So this is actually something I wanted to pick your brain about because I like, honestly, if I think about it, like there's so much money to be made in veganism. Sure. Um, I just think about like the grocery stores. If we all went to like raw primal, like the whole economy would collapse. Like there's so many, all the restaurants, you know, uh, all the grocery stores, the whole entire food industry is based on plants. There's so much variety you can do. So many different flavors. Um, It's really, even though I think that eating raw meat is pretty exciting, it's a very limited menu, just animals, and you don't do anything with it, you just eat it. So you don't need to go to a restaurant really for it.

[video] 47:16 And it's not addicting in the way that plants are addicting the sugars. And all plants have sugars, even if they're not sweet. There's fructose and sucrose, which are sweet sugars. But there's a whole array of sugars. And that's feeding your gut the bacteria in your gut and just making you have cravings. And that supports the consumerist lifestyle. So, I think that there's a lot of agenda to support veganism, whether or not people think it's healthy.

47:58 Would you say that they pushed vegetarianism at first to make people accept that not eating meat is normal, so to speak, and then slowly introduce veganism because then you cut out everything, dairy, eggs also?

48:17 Many decades ago, vegetarianism was acceptable. And then because it was acceptable, then people slowly also accepted veganism. Even though if you introduced them to veganism at first, they would have said you're crazy. But if you cut out only meat and then later only eggs and dairy, then it's more acceptable.

[video] 48:39 Yeah, it's like a gradual thing. Gradual malnutrition. Yes, gradual malnutrition. Yeah, exactly. We were sort of like, this is the first step. We're taking baby steps into it.

[video] 48:53 And veganism, I think, is even more addicting than vegetarianism. Because at least with the vegetarianism, you have the animal proteins of the eggs and stuff, but veganism is pure sugar. So it's much more lucrative for the food industry. So yeah, I think there's a lot of support for that and a lot of discouragement of meat eating.

49:19 Anything else important you would like to say to any vegans who are maybe watching? Any message? Something you learned?

[video] 49:29 Yeah, I would say, and maybe I'll say this to the camera, I think that we all want to

[video] 49:37 minimize suffering. We don't want anybody to suffer and I think that that's the intention, the crux of veganism is that we all get to sort of live in harmony and enjoy the plants and the earth without killing each other, without killing innocent, sentient beings.

[video] 50:03 But what I've come to learn is that that creates an incredible amount of suffering, not just to ourselves, but to the earth.

[video] 50:14 the earth is being destroyed by veganism with all the crops, the agriculture, the pesticides and all the species that are going extinct because of our devotion to crops. The forests are being clear-cutted for avocado trees and all these

[video] 50:42 really, really, really inefficient water-sucking, resource-tapping plants. So, ironically,

[video] 50:57 I believe that the way to minimize suffering is to eat animals that have lived a happy life. They actually nourish the ground and

[video] 51:18 Yeah, we don't have to put poisons into the ground. We ourselves do not become sick. We actually thrive and be happy. I say that I didn't have any feeling at all. I experienced no joy. I didn't experience anything. I was just empty and my world was gray. But now I feel so much joy and I feel so alive. I don't have any pain. I sleep through the night. My skin is like it's never been before. I have complete access to my brain. I'm incredibly grounded. All these symptoms that I had as a vegetarian slash vegan are completely gone. And I want that for everybody. This is possible.

52:10 So just follow nature, basically.

[video] 52:14 Yeah, exactly. Look at how we used to live before the agricultural era, which for millions of years, this is what we did. We ate meat. And when you eat meat, You don't have a desire to eat plants. I have no desire. All of my addictions are gone I have no desire for sugar and so this whole thing about like before the agricultural era we still ate berries and tubers and things that could be but Don't want that like that doesn't sound good to me at all that it doesn't even like it doesn't even seem like a like food to me really and if I didn't have any access to me then maybe I would eat that as a backup, but I really don't think that that's how We enjoyed living for millions of years. We are flesh-eating We are a flesh-eating species and we can't really deny our true nature We're just gonna kill ourselves if we do Okay, thank you. Thank you so much