Ex-Vegan (3 Years): Veganism Made Me Grumpy & Depressed

Watch on YouTube · 2019-02-24 · 26 min

0:00 Introduce yourself and start at the beginning, what year it was that you got into veganism and then what happened.

[video] 0:06 Alright, cool. My name is Paulo, I'm 31. I was born and raised in Brazil and the veganism thing for me started, it was about spring 2017.

[video] 0:28 and I was in England, I was living in England at that time and so I've been thinking for almost just about 3 years, but recently I was not feeling well at all. I had injuries, I had fatigue.

0:47 You said 2017? How was that 3 years?

[video] 0:52 Sorry, 2016. Spring 2016.

[video] 0:58 I remember well because my birthday is on the 5th of May. Just after my birthday that year, I started to watch some documentaries and then kind of make the switch. I wasn't unwell physically or mentally at that time at all. I was working out in the gym. And my goal was pretty much feel good about myself. And I played drums, so I just wanted to be fit enough to perform playing drums well. And so, out of nowhere, I was watching Netflix, and I watched this documentary called, I think it's called Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead, which is about a guy that goes on a juice diet for about a month, two months, or whatever. And I found that interesting, and I was like, oh, maybe I'll give that a go, just for a week, and see how I feel and stuff.

[video] 1:55 And then soon enough, I signed myself at the World Wild Vegan University, aka Netflix. So I've watched pretty much all of the documentaries, you know, the conspiracy, the forks over knives and everything. And I pretty much got hooked. You know, I was like, fuck, I can't believe I've been eating animals all this time. And I think at that time, what some people say as well is, um, I was going through some kind of spiritual awakening, if you like. My son was about to be born that year. My girlfriend was six months pregnant. I was just trying to find myself and trying to be a better person, if you like. And then I've watched all of those documentaries and I was like, that's it. I have to do it.

[video] 2:49 And I remember the next day I sat down to eat a normal, what would be a normal meal for me. I had some salmon and some rice and potatoes and whatever. And I couldn't do it. I physically could not do it. And then next day I went to groceries and bought the whole thing vegan and ditched pretty much all of the animal products from my diet. And as I said, I wasn't unwell and I wasn't working out as normal. And for the first six months, I felt amazing. I lost a lot of weight, but somehow I was able to keep my lean body mass. People would come see me and say, dude, you look great. What have you been doing? And I looked at myself in the mirror and I liked what I was seeing. I was like, that's it. I found it. This is the diet I need.

[video] 3:47 And then I kept going through that, but then time has passed, and then I would say after one year, one year and a half, I started to feel some changes on my energy and my overall, you know, just joy for life, I would say. I didn't feel like working out, I didn't feel like going for a run, I didn't feel like even playing music anymore. And then As every vegan would say, I thought to myself, I'm not doing it right. There's something I'm missing. And then I've done a little bit more research on it. I asked help from a nutritionist. The guy was actually a pescatarian, if you like. He used to work out at the same gym as I did. And he helped me out with my macros. And he set up some kind of diet that I should follow and work out and stuff.

[video] 4:45 And from there, I started to count my macros for every single meal, prepare my meals. And I had pretty much in there. It was veganism to perfection, I would say. All of my meals had how much grams of protein, the carbs, and the fats. From everything from greens to vegetables, legumes, tofu, brown rice, sweet potatoes. I would spend so much money on that food because I wanted the best stuff. Supplementing, I would supplement with pretty much everything you can imagine. I had B12. B12 I had liquid, I had pills, I even had an injection one time, you know, from B12. I would supplement with vitamin D3, vitamin A, vitamin B, pretty much everything you can find in fish, I would get in pills. And I didn't get anywhere, to be honest.

[video] 5:41 I used to run about 30 miles a week easily, and I started to get injuries.

[video] 5:51 My knee was my first injury. I was running a 15K race. I was in Brazil at that time, and my knee just wouldn't take it. I stayed about a month or two months after that, just recuperating from the knee. I never had knee injuries before. my family, my sister runs a lot. Anyway, but of course it wasn't a problem with my diet, it was something else. Maybe I didn't train enough, I had to do more muscle strength in the gym to get myself going, etc.

[video] 6:30 All I can say is that with time, I did not feel like working out. I would get in the gym and my body would say, you know, I would rather do some stretching or yoga. I would look at the weights and it did not feel like working out at all.

[video] 6:47 And then what I've also noticed was, you know, when it's about me, I played drums for about 15 years now. And to get a song and play on the drum for me, it was pretty much like an instinct. I listened to it like once or twice. I was sitting on the drums and within about 20 minutes I got it. has always been like that. And recently what I've noticed is I just couldn't play a song. You know, even if it's like a hip hop song, which is like a loop of the same loop, but for like two or three minutes, I would sit up and then I couldn't play it. My brain would just not function. My body, my brain wasn't there basically. And then Recently, what I really felt was my mental illness just increased a lot.

[video] 7:45 I just became a blunt person, very depressed, quite bipolar, if you like. A lot of people around me kind of noticed it. I wasn't laughing anymore. I wasn't vibrant anymore. I would get to a place and always had this kind of dragging through the day. at work, you know, meetings with my managers. I was always being negative about everything. I didn't have joy about life at all. And then I think the bottom line for me was, so I wasn't feeling great at all already. And there was this day I stopped and I thought, what is wrong with me? I mean, I take care of my

[video] 8:35 fitness, I take care of my diet, I take care of my mental aspect of it, you know, I do meditation, I do yoga, and all that, and I feel like crap. I didn't feel like joy to live, you know, I didn't want to wake up the next day, I had nothing to look forward to. And then, that made me start thinking about my diet again. And I started to to make some research about it. I read a few articles and I started to watch some ex-vegans testimonials. I came across some of your videos on the internet as well. And what they described on the video, it's pretty much like it was me. Everything I was feeling mentally and physically, I was like, this is exactly what I'm feeling. And then I decided to make experiments from there.

[video] 9:38 So a few weeks ago, about two to three weeks ago, I went to the grocery shop and I got some eggs and I got some salmon and I got a little bit of yogurt.

[video] 9:52 I remember I went to the grocery shop and then that's when I realized how much my mentality towards food changed. Because I went to the section and I never been to for the last three years, and it was hard for me to cope with it. Just grabbing the salmon and seeing all those meats shown on the shelves and stuff, and I just grabbed the salmon, grabbed the eggs, and I was out. Next day, my breakfast, rather than being a bowl of oats and nuts and a bit of plant protein and all that, that's what I had every morning, I made some scrambled eggs with a little bit of salmon, and then what I can describe after that was pretty much like having an injection of happiness.

[video] 10:46 I got out and I got out of the house and I was feeling amazing. I was listening to music on the headphones and it was like I was back. It was so vibrant and I had so much good stuff around my mind and my body. And I got to work with a big smile, talking to everyone, and I could see that they were noticing that I was different. You know, saying, good morning, hey, how's everyone going? Just everyone looking at me. Hey, man, how's it going? Yeah, good. I just felt amazing. And then from there, that's when I realized that even though my heart and my mind mind still wants to be vegan, if you like. I still love the animals. I still care about the environment and all that. I realized I wasn't listening to my body.

[video] 11:39 And for such a long time, my body gave me signs that I was craving those nutrients. And I was just denying it. I had some cravings for eggs. just about over six months since I went vegan, you know, thought about having eggs here and there, or yogurts and cheese, sushi, especially sashimi is something that I always enjoyed having. And I just got that out of my mind. I was like, I'm not there anymore. I'm a different person. I'm better. You know, I evolved. And I would just deny giving those nutrients to my body, you know. And since then, I was like,

[video] 12:28 a quick comeback. Playing drums for me, I'm just back. I sit on the drums and I play the way I used to play with joy. I feel that I'm there. I can focus a lot more. I can focus at work a lot more. My exercise is a lot better. My body changed completely. I was shocked. I took some pictures.

[video] 12:58 the day I changed my diet, and five days after that everything was different. My body was harder, I had more energy, and everything just changed a lot.

13:14 One question, what do you think veganism is really about? Is it just a movement? Is it a trend? And how do you see the future of veganism?

[video] 13:24 I think veganism

[video] 13:27 The way now my vision about it is that it's a trend, but it's a very dangerous trend, which if you think about it, the mass media is on it, and they're promoting it. The government is promoting it. I live in South Africa now, and if I go to little villages away from town, and I go to a little supermarket, they have vegan stuff.

[video] 13:59 They have vegan cheese and they have milk alternatives and stuff like that. And if it's being promoted like that, there's something about it, something is up. And if you really think about it, what a vegan diet is, it's basically high carbohydrates, which is essentially sugar. What sugar does to you is, it gets you in this mood of up and down, it has no nutrients about it. So you become this materialist person, because you're not happy, so you have to buy more stuff to be happy, you have to do more stuff to pursue this happiness, and it will kill faster. So you die faster and consume more during your life, so that can be dangerous. for you.

[video] 14:58 But it's definitely a trend that is growing a lot. A lot more people are falling into veganism. And I see a lot, like recently I saw someone saying, damn, I'm getting sick all the time. I think I should go vegan. Because they see it as the ultimate of health. And I've just been through it. It's really not about health. It's about... I don't even know how to word it, but it's definitely not about health. What do you think about it?

15:35 I have a whole video on it. they definitely want to get rid of meat and they're pushing veganism because they want even if it's a few million people to accept it and then talk everybody else into it because their goal isn't to make people vegan their goal is to simply make fake meat soy meat lab meat and get people to eat that and the vegan movement is just a way to get to that point yeah yeah yeah that's very dangerous man and it's

[video] 16:10 I see very young teenagers, 12, 13, 14, they grab their phones and watch a video of someone on YouTube making those colorful meals, and they're like, oh, I want to be like that. But not because they relate to health, because they relate to that person. Maybe that person is, let's say she's a model, and she lives a lifestyle that that teenager wants to have, so she believes that he must go on a vegan diet to become that kind of image. When you realize it, you know, there's no nutrients. And some of those YouTubers, there's something I noticed as well. I used to follow a lot of those vegan YouTube channels, if you like. And recently I watched their videos and I was like, he doesn't look healthy at all.

[video] 17:10 And you go back on the videos like two years ago, three years ago, and they look okay. And now they're just deteriorating themselves. Beginning of my journey, someone gave me the book of Dr. Greger's, How Not to Die. And I mean, a guy that dressed himself as a doctor and write a book named How Not to Die. You know, you must believe in a guy like that. And what I didn't realize is how unhealthy that human being looks.

17:44 Yeah, I've heard that he has pancreatic cancer, but he's hiding it. It's this rumor floating around, and that's why he looks so bad, all pale, and like he's dying.

[video] 17:53 I'm not surprised. I mean, you look at him, he's just like, there's nothing like this. His eyes are just like dark eyes, and you just want to help. Steve Jobs died from it as well, right? There is, well, there's some testimonials and videos and stuff that says he was strict about his diet. He was vegetarian for most of his life and stuff. It could definitely relate to something like that. And I think Ashton Kutcher was making a movie.

18:32 Right, and he landed in the hospital.

[video] 18:35 And he went to the hospital like, month after following that diet.

18:42 Anything else you would like to add about your experience with veganism? Something special or anything you would like to say to any vegans who are watching?

[video] 18:52 I think for me what it triggers going back to the basics was really my mental health because you know, the physical and the energy and the fitness levels and all that was a signal but I didn't pay too much attention to it. But when I really started to get depressed and just sad about everything and that's when I realized something was up. And if you don't have a good support system, if you don't have friends around, if you don't have family around, you can just get in the trap of

[video] 19:33 going around you changing your diets because i've seen a lot of people going okay i'm doing it wrong i'm gonna fast for three days or i'm gonna go fruitarian or i'm gonna go raw vegan and all you're doing is worse and worse and worse just going deep into the hole you know and that's what your body does once it doesn't have the nutrients your brain starts to deteriorate I didn't realize how connected your stomach, your digestive system is related to your brain functionality. So once this is not working and you're not getting the nutrients, your brain just starts failing really. So yeah, keep listening to your body. That's what I would say to the other vegans. very good friend in Brazil, he went vegan pretty much same time as me.

[video] 20:34 And as soon as I had this awakening of what I was doing to myself, you know, I texted him and I was like, hey man, do you want to talk about it? And then I saw some pictures of him and his girlfriend on social media and stuff. And I could see already the changes that I was going through as well. The first thing you notice is there's not enough meat on the shoulders. You start to see the bones coming out. It's And the cheeks, they go thin as well. And you can just notice that the pensions just get older very quickly. But he straight away, he cut it off. He was like, there's no way I'm going to go back to eating animals again. You know, there's a point that you cannot just go further, I guess. But yeah, it doesn't make you a better person.

[video] 21:29 It doesn't make you more intelligent. It doesn't make you smarter or better than everyone else. And that's a very dangerous thing about veganism. You start to get the sense that you're better than everyone else around you. You go to a restaurant and you see people eating. You're like, how much harm do you do to the world and how much harm They're gonna die young. I'm glad I got out of it. I started to judge my own family, man. You know, I went back to Brazil and we were partying and they were cooking their meals and stuff. And people that loved me, like my mom and my dad and my uncles and my aunties and stuff. And I saw them eating, having breakfast, like having some eggs or whatever they want to eat. And I would judge them.

[video] 22:27 From there, that's when I started to notice that I was becoming this grumpier version of me. Seeing people that I love, that I care about, and judging them because of what they're eating. A lot of vegans have that. You don't really realize because they come across this very...

[video] 22:55 connected with the environment and connected with their health and stuff. But once you really get to talk to them, they will throw some stuff that relates to hate, that relates to judgmental to other human beings.

[video] 23:14 Just quickly, I just wanted to mention a quick comment that a friend of mine did. We were doing this hiking and we saw this dragonfly. And then someone mentioned, like, oh, how cool is this dragonfly and stuff? And he was like, I hate dragonflies. And I was like, why? Why would you hate a dragonfly? And he was like, well, they eat other animals. They eat other flies. And I was like, that's bloody nature. That's what they do. Cats eat rats. Dragonflies eat other flies. Lions eat other animals. That's nature.

[video] 23:53 And that's pretty much summarized what veganism is, what today I comprehend. We're going completely against nature. We're eating foods that we've never been able to get and we're ditching pretty much what is essential for us.

24:12 They try to protect chicken, but chicken eat animals. Where's the logic?

[video] 24:19 Exactly.

[video] 24:23 I haven't used my blender for the last three weeks because that's all you do when you're vegan. You just put a lot of fruits and a lot of sugar into it. I used to make those gigantic smoothies. I wasn't very aware of my digestion back then, but you drag those smoothies with two bananas and oats and berries and my belly would work for the whole day. just making noise and stuff. I didn't realize but I was having diarrhea for the last three years.

[video] 25:02 In the beginning you think, okay, I'm eating more, I'm going to the loo a lot more, I used to go to the loo three or four times a day, thinking it was healthier. Oh, this is working perfectly now, this is great. You go three to four times a day to the bathroom. And now, correct me if I'm wrong, But when I changed my diet, I stayed three or four days without going to the loo. And my theory is that my body was craving those nutrients so much that I pretty much used all of it.

25:39 Right, exactly.

[video] 25:41 Would that make sense?

25:42 Yeah, it does. This is common, actually.

[video] 25:47 Right, because it wasn't like I was feeling constipated at all. You know, I was good. But it's just like, I realized, oh, it's been almost four days. And when I went, it was pretty much like 5% of the food I ate for the last four days. And, you know, my digestion was perfect. It's working perfectly fine.

26:15 It's pretty great.

[video] 26:18 So, yeah, man, that's pretty much my story.

26:21 Yeah, man. Thanks for sharing.