Idiot Human Cooks Food for Animals @Nick DiGiovanni

Watch on YouTube · 2025-08-05 · 22 min

0:00 Hey, I'm gonna be reviewing a video of a guy cooking food for other animals. It's the dumbest video idea I've ever heard of.

[video] 0:08 In this video, I'm cooking gourmet food for the most popular animals on the planet. And the longer you watch, the bigger and more dangerous the animals will get. All starting with this cute little rat. I spent three hours cutting and layering vegetables to make the perfect ratatouille. And if you think this meal is fancy, just wait until you see what I cook for some of the other animals later in this video. Go ahead, buddy. Enjoy your five-star meal. Let's let him finish and go to our next animal. Next up, we're cooking for a squirrel.

0:29 He didn't even really eat it. It's as if he tasted it and knew that it's garbage. Bad start. The whole video will probably be a fail because I'll explain to you why. This is just so stupid.

[video] 0:45 But not just any squirrel. Twiggy is a world-famous water-skiing squirrel. And since my friend Mark is a huge fan of squirrels, I invited him to cook with me. While the water-skiing squirrel has a tour bus, to be clear, though, we're cooking for the squirrel, not cooking squirrels. I got all the stuff squirrels like. Beans, avocado they love, carrots. Wow, this is a meal. Their favorite is acorn squash. Really? It feels like a sous chef-y thing to do.

1:07 It's not their favorite naturally because there is no such thing in nature. This doesn't exist in nature. What you mean is that out of your man-made foods, this is what they like. That's it. And this is why this video is so stupid because he's going to try to make wild animals or maybe it's domesticated animals, but whatever the case, he will want other animals to eat man-made food. Some of them will probably eat some of it. And as we could see, some won't. You do understand that they eat meat. I even posted a video of them eating.

[video] 1:44 I think it was a rat. Yeah.

2:02 They also eat some seeds and whatever they can find, but they also eat actual animals, the organs and everything. But you try to apply your man-made beliefs, your ignorance to these animals. And then these people always who run zoos wonder why the animals are sick and fertile, why they don't reproduce.

[video] 2:28 Is it just me or does the bird look a bit sick? If they actually feed him pizza, that explains it.

2:55 Okay, why on earth would you need to create carcinogens for the bird? Worst video I've ever seen. Just poisoning animals.

[video] 3:09 Really nice flavor to your pizza. Einstein's used to seeing the center of the cob so I'm gonna cut- It's fresh basil. I'm going to cut nice rings from the corn on the cob to put in the center of our pizza. Oh, you're taking one? That's fine. Cutting it this way is sort of like Einstein's version of pepperoni. Is that good? Well, it's going to be good. For the cheese, we have cheddar and provolone. Even when I make pizza for myself, I like using different blends of cheese because it makes it a whole lot more exciting. Einstein, you can't get full before the meal. Be quiet. The cheddar's been grated, so now I just got to finish up the provolone. And then we'll toss it into a bowl so we can start rolling out our dough. To assemble the pizza, I'll flour my cutting board and stretch the dough to make a small pear-sized crust. Then I'll top it.

3:41 Look at it, just slime. And he thinks that it's food. Totally nuts.

[video] 3:47 Yeah, just imitating animals.

3:53 Raw animals, that's why the red sauce. It's famine slave food.

[video] 3:58 And we'll finish by adding on our blend of two cheeses. And sign one more piece of cheese. As well as...

4:03 Just in case you don't know, the history of pizza is that people used to not have any meat and then because they didn't have any real food, which is of course what animals are, they made the seed slime. and they put a red sauce over it a tomato sauce or whatever and then because they had dairy still they put the cheese on top and try to imitate actual animals that's it that's the origin of pizza it's absolute famine slave food an imitation of meat and now people eat it even though they could be eating meat Because of brainwashing. And now this slave who grew up eating pizza is gonna give it to a bird. And the bird may eat it because birds partly eat some of that stuff. That doesn't mean that it's good for them, obviously. You're tricking them, basically, like... People trick humans today to eat this garbage.

[video] 5:02 There's our corn pepperonis and a bit of fresh basil. And now it's ready to bake. I'm gonna cook. Yeah, I'm gonna cook it. Here it is, Einstein. What do you think? Cool. That's exactly right. Is it good? I haven't eaten any yet. For the finishing touch, I'm going to top it off with some edible blue flowers, and then we just need to cut it. Whoa. He's just trying to pick up my knife. I got to be careful what I say around you. It's time to eat. Come on. There you go. Oh, yum. How is it? It looks like you like the crust better than the pizza. Most people aren't like that. You know what I like about the way that Einstein eats is that he goes kind of back and forth between the crust and the actual pizza. Why don't you take the rest of this to go? By the way, birds also eat raw meat. He should have given him raw meat, simply. But now, it's just that the slave of today believes that they should be cooking.

5:51 Yeah, do your slave activities by yourself. Don't poison the animals around you also.

[video] 5:59 By now my buns should be nice and toasty so I'll take these off the heat and now into my pan with a bit of oil and once that gets nice and hot

6:11 Nice, some oil. Yeah, cool, man. Great. You wanna give heart disease to the monkeys.

[video] 6:19 And yourself, obviously. That's very black.

[video] 6:31 cheese and lid on once that cheese is nice and melted we'll plate by going bottom bun patty a little bit of ketchup a little mustard three pickles lettuce tomato and our top bun since there are four monkeys i'm gonna cut this into four even pieces we definitely don't want them fighting over the burger i'm gonna put on my hat so they don't pull my hair and then let's bring in the monkeys they're so cute they're kind of just investigating the burger right now they're being very curious hi hey oh you want to eat it

6:54 If it was actual real food, which is what they would want, they also eat meat, by the way, raw meat also, not only, then they would have just eaten it right away. But they're just looking, inspecting it because they are trying to find something which is at least somewhat edible. That actually says everything, that they don't right away eat it. Absolutely everything. Totally messed up this guy.

[video] 7:24 Tommy, that's fine, yeah. Is the meat good? I just learned that at some restaurants, they won't eat the patties at all. They'll just throw them.

7:31 And they're not throwing these, which must... Yeah, because it's grain sludge, because it's not food, exactly.

[video] 7:37 ...mean they love my seasoning on there. What are they doing in the camera? Don't pull off the microphone, guys. We need the microphone. He's rubbing mustard all over my camera. I think I need a new lens. You like the tomato? Want some bun? Yeah, here, have the bun. Want some of the beef? Yeah, there you go. Everybody seems to like something completely different in this situation. This is how I like to eat, kind of like tapas style. And what's great is that a burger has so many different components, so I'm happy that you guys are all enjoying different parts of it. He loves the patties. Well, he dropped it. I have three younger brothers and I feel like this is what we probably...

8:02 I guess that some of them ate the bread and the meat, some didn't.

8:08 Bits and pieces here and there, yeah, because none of it is really food, none of it is really actually appetizing. Especially if they were really hungry, it makes sense why they just try to eat something.

[video] 8:21 It looked and sounded like when we were little kids eating. I think it's safe to say they liked it.

8:26 let's go to the next segment our next animal is a dog but it's super super absolutely 100 crystal clear that they didn't like it absolutely safe to say because they left a lot way too much a real monkey would have eaten the whole thing and actually they would have fought over it if it was good food You're totally delusional, I just hope you get it.

[video] 8:56 Who makes green beans and a sweet potato for a dog? Just who does that?

[video] 9:11 This guy's brainwashed as hell.

9:18 Wait, what? I must have misheard something. He didn't say that dogs are only supposed to have meat when it's well done, right? What did he say? That must be wrong. Because that would be the stupidest thing anybody has ever said in the history of humanity.

9:36 But that's what I heard. But it can't be true. Nobody can be this ignorant. a well-done type of girl she probably doesn't even know what that means wait what's going on here i don't get it dogs should be eating raw meat everybody knows that or what is he talking about i don't get it or was that a joke oh he was joking maybe Wait, why doesn't the dog eat the raw meat? Did he only feed the dog pet food, so-called pet food, fake food, and cooked meat, or what's going on here? This is super strange, some really severe animal abuse going on here, I guess, starvation, malnutrition.

[video] 10:18 Wait, he actually believes you need to cook meat?

10:24 What's wrong with this guy? Who is this even?

[video] 10:26 Now for the steak, I'll add some Osmo olive oil and then in we go. The reason I cut it into cubes is so that everything... Olive oil is very poisonous.

10:34 The dog especially would taste it.

[video] 10:36 ...is going to easily cook to well done.

10:38 Pepper, you... What? He actually believes that you need to cook meat and well done especially? And that for a dog? You're so dumb. It's unbelievable.

[video] 10:49 This guy is actually... Kind of nuts, yeah. Feeding this to a dog?

11:18 You're actually basically insane by definition. Wow. Now we know.

[video] 11:24 There she goes. I wondered what she would go for first and it seems like she's very much going for just the steak. Eat the veggies.

11:31 He completely brainwashed... essentially abused the dog and made him used to eating cooked meat. That's it.

11:43 Just like we do it with humans today.

11:49 Oh my God, man.

11:54 This guy is the devil.

[video] 11:58 What? Seriously? I just butter poached green beans and sweet potatoes for you and you're not even going to try them? Our last animal from level one is the porcupine. And they love vegetables, but only if they're uncooked. So I'm going to make them some veggie french fries. These porcupines eat pretty much the same thing every day, so mixing up the form and the texture of the food that they get is hopefully going to be really exciting for them. Being completely honest, I'm a little scared for this one. I don't want to get quilled, so my thought is if I cook them really good...

12:20 All animals only eat raw food, humans too in nature, there's no other option anyway. Why would you destroy your food, destroy the nutrients, make it taste bad, make it dry, remove the moisture? Some animals will simply eat the cooked food because you get them used to it, because you abused your dog, that's what you did. and some will simply do it because they don't have anything else like the monkeys did and they still didn't even eat all of it because it was garbage and these animals just won't eat anything else maybe they grew up wild or who knows maybe they haven't been domesticated for that long

[video] 13:04 They won't quill me. Personally, knowing what they can and can't eat, I wouldn't want to be a porcupine. I feel like I get kind of bored only having carrots and beets and vegetables every day, but I think they're gonna love the french fries. Guys, I brought food. French fries. Oh, yeah, okay. Hi, buddy. Look at this. They're running to their house for protection while they eat and then coming back out for seconds. This is a good sign. Well, they all seem happy. They love your food. No one's trying to quill you. Wait, everybody wants seconds. I can only give you so much. I'm sorry. Oh, my gosh, a lemur. Does the lemur want some? Go ahead. Oh, whoa. This is my peak moment as a chef, just having a full crew of different animals enjoying my food. We'll start by cooking for a penguin. Actually, three penguins.

13:40 Penguins eat raw meat. What is he gonna give them?

[video] 13:45 What can I say? They're my favorite animal. And since penguins love fish, I thought, why not make them a poke bowl? We'll start by prepping some fresh vegetables. First, this cucumber.

13:53 Are you dumb or something? What's going on in your head? I don't get it.

[video] 13:58 Cucumbers for a penguin? Wow, he just swallowed it. This is awesome. What's the magic word? I forgot he can't talk. He's a penguin. Turtles also eat meat I have posted videos of it and they give them vegetables and fruits

14:39 Oh my god, people are so messed up.

[video] 14:40 What's up with him and this toxic bitter olive oil? It's super poisonous, man. You can die from drinking that.

[video] 15:01 bird a nice massage making sure to cover every nook and cranny with that oil once he's all oiled up i'm gonna use some of my osmo chicken seasoning look at me on there look how happy i am that's gonna be the bear in a few seconds i hope the bear will appreciate the effort that i'm putting into making this chicken delicious right now but at the same time like i said i'm gonna let the seasoning do basically all the work here i didn't want to make just any boring chicken so i actually bought an entire rotisserie oven because i want to make sure our bear has a good time now with a little movie magic our rotisserie chicken is done i was gonna make you guys wait oh my gosh he is huge look at him this is tack he's a thousand pound cognac bear and as you know i've made him a rotisserie chicken but first i'm gonna feed him this cookie right out of my mouth Yeah, he's gonna eat it because he has nothing else he would of course wanted raw and it's so dry You're giving the worst kind of food to the bear and you poison the bear with the spices on top of that and

15:53 So it's again animal abuse. So really this is a video of animal abuse actually, yeah.

[video] 15:59 I think he's just gonna eat the entire carcass of the chicken. Oh my gosh. Believe it or not, chicken is the only meat that Tag likes. He doesn't eat steak, he doesn't eat fish, but he loves chicken. And I think I made him a good one. What is he doing? Oh, uh-oh, what's going on? Oh, that plate's gone. Oh, he's licking the table now. I wanna ask Tag one last question before I go to the next animal. Did you love my Osmo chicken seasoning? Be honest. Hippos eat raw meat, a lot of raw meat What, melons? Yeah, they will also eat other stuff

16:36 Ah, it's just- people are- ah, fucking forget about it, I'm just done.

[video] 16:41 That he even thinks that it's a good idea to cook meat for a lion.

[video] 17:02 Does he have an incredibly well marbled piece of meat? But it's also gonna be seasoned with the best seasoning in the world, my Osmo signature.

17:09 It's literally poisonous. You eat the whole thing, right away hospitalized.

[video] 17:14 And I'm going to make sure to really coat this piece of meat for our lion. Once our charcoal's ready, I'll set up my grill and let this come up to 10 for just a few minutes. This lion likes his steak very rare, almost raw. So for that reason, I'm not going to cook this tomahawk very much. The goal here is to get a nice light sear. All I want are a few grill marks and nothing more. Once I've quickly hit the first side, I'll flip it over and same thing on the second. You might call that bit of char there burnt. I call it flavor. Let's hope our lion agrees. Oh, he's some kind of cook? I've never heard of this guy.

18:04 wow yeah just a super brainwashed cook yeah that's how the cooks of today are they have no idea what humans or any other animals are supposed to eat cooks are actually some of the worst people on earth because they make everybody around them unhealthy there is nothing between us and this line right now

[video] 18:32 I'm going to whisper so he eats the steak and not me, but this was the craziest video I've ever done. I just want to thank all of you watching and remind you to go subscribe and turn on those notifications so you never miss a video. Because if you thought this one was good, just wait until you see the next one.

18:45 yeah it's interesting that he said that he's only gonna cook it lightly because i think that he was implying that the lion wouldn't otherwise eat it which i guess they know from experience maybe those idiots because they have tried it before because the lion wouldn't recognize it as food oh my god i'm glad that this video is over it's so horrible man i probably should have cooked this lion a bigger steak

19:15 This is what happens nowadays when humans grow up in slavery and they try to apply what they learned to other animals. All animals, including humans obviously, eat only raw food in nature. Humans in nature hunt down animals. And they eat the organs, the liver in the first place, they open up the skull, eat the brain, it's all fresh, warm. It's the closest thing there is to cooked food, naturally. The lungs, for example, are very soft, juicy, warm, when the animal was freshly killed. You could compare it to...

19:57 cooked food in some ways except that it just tastes a lot better and all of the nutrients are intact instead of for the most part destroyed when you cook the food it's understandable why some people cook the food very very lightly to make it warm again seeing as it naturally Would be it's the best tasting food on earth a freshly killed animal Especially the organs from a healthy animal. There's nothing that tastes better. Especially of course the blood although the liver is also super amazing This guy would have no idea when you go to a school where you learn how to cook with Gordon Ramsay or whatever then You learn how to eat fake food and how to prepare it to then imitate real food. I skipped some of the parts because the video was pretty unbearable, but he tried to imitate, again, meat with the other dishes. And that's what you learn.

20:58 I'm not saying that you necessarily learned it on purpose, that they teach you that specifically, but that's just something that's going on sort of subconsciously. People want to eat raw animals, but seeing as because of brainwashing conditioning, they are afraid to do it. And sometimes rightfully so, because of factory farmed animals, they really are poisonous and you can get food poisoning from them. They imitate what they really want. And this is what you see all cooks do today, even the five-star chefs. it doesn't matter who okay those may be serving you steak tartar some kind of sashimi oysters a lot of raw animal foods for sure and that's closer to what we naturally eat but for the most part they also just learn

21:54 to imitate what we naturally want to eat with the red sauces, as I explained, pizzas are just an imitation of animals. When you actually look around you and you open up your eyes, When you see what people eat today, it's for the most part imitations of raw animal organs and blood. Because that's what we naturally crave. And of course the animals in this video, for the most part, also did. Thanks for watching.