Jenny Mustard: Vegan Witch Creates the Most Disgusting Recipes @Jenny Mustard

Watch on YouTube · 2023-06-13 · 16 min

0:00 Hey guys, as requested I'm going to review a video by Jenny Mustard. 15 years vegan, this is what they don't tell you.

[video] 0:10 I'm actually lying to you in the title of this video because I haven't been vegan for 15 years, it's more like 15 and a half by now, so...

0:18 It's more like five or six probably in reality because she's been on YouTube for six years now. We are supposed to believe that she's been vegan since 2008. That would be 15 years. Veganism only really got popular past 2010. We are supposed to believe that she started before everybody else started. The reason I don't believe this is for two main reasons. Firstly, purely biologically it would be impossible to only eat plants for 15 years. You would be bedridden past 10 years for sure. She does look sick, but she doesn't look that sick because At 15 years, realistically, you wouldn't be alive anymore. And secondly, all of the ex-vegans that I've talked to, they admitted that they lied about how long they were vegan. A lot of them are vegetarian for three years and then vegan for three years, but they told everybody that they were vegan for six years.

1:13 A lot of them want to believe that it's the same as being a vegan when you're eating a dairy and eggs, they just kind of put the years together to make it seem like veganism is doable when in reality they're just living in denial. Maybe she was vegetarian for many years before and now she's really been vegan for six years since she started YouTube. That's maybe possible.

[video] 1:35 I was thinking for those of you who are like new vegans or for all of you who are thinking of maybe going vegan but you're wondering like how would a life like that be and how would it affect like your body and your everyday life so I thought why not use me

1:50 Yes, use you exactly, I was going to say. You're a good example. You're incredibly skinny. Not just skinny, it looks abnormal. It doesn't look healthy. You don't look like a healthy, fertile woman. But then again, she said in another video that she doesn't want to have children, so I guess that's not a problem. She also looks very anemic. The hair does seem over the top thin for a woman.

[video] 2:14 As an example, so let's look at my body and my life and take stock. What has more than 15 years of vegan done to me? And I don't mean the classic things. I mean more like the weird or unexpected things that I had no idea of when I went vegan myself all those years ago. First of all and probably like the most surprising thing about going vegan is that it feels natural. I mean for my body. Because 15 years ago everyone and myself included thought that veganism was bad for your health and like a sacrifice you did physically.

2:44 Yes, back when humans used to live more naturally, it's getting worse and worse now, people used to believe that veganism is unhealthy with their natural senses, it's just pure instinct and now people don't. Does it mean that we know better now? No, humans are getting dumber and dumber, which means that you're listening to all of these people who are even more disconnected from nature than your parents, for example.

[video] 3:08 For your ethical reasons, But of course today we know it's quite the opposite. I remember one day quite early on after going vegan I was out for a hike and I reached this like steep hill that's quite brutal to walk up and I walked up that hill... With such low body fat I wouldn't be doing any kind of exercise.

3:26 It can be dangerous even.

[video] 3:27 of times before but this one time I just felt like so good and energized and light and bouncy and I remember feeling like oh so this is what my body is supposed to feel like it was such a weird moment but I do still feel like that just right in my body and as if this is like my natural state of course I don't know how I would feel if I had eaten meat for the last 15 years but I remember how I used to feel before so much more like down and tired note how she said meat and not animal products which probably means that she ate some eggs and dairy at least So this is the number one biggest surprise and just the best thing really, that my body is happy and energized with me. Another thing I wasn't expecting is how cheap it can be.

4:08 Yeah, you seem super energized in your videos.

[video] 4:11 Of course, it can also be super expensive to be vegan if you go for all the luxurious artisan cashew cheeses or whatever. But back in the day when David and I struggled quite a lot with money when we were building up our business, we had such a strict weekly budget for food. And what we would buy was like fresh veggies, but the cheaper ones we could find, which in London then was curly kale and carrots and like cabbages and green beans. And most importantly,

4:33 dried red lentils and brown rice because actually... All of this is absolute peasant slave food. It doesn't get any worse. This is what the absolute underclass used to and still does eat today. It's what you eat when you're living off of pennies.

[video] 4:48 Still to this day, one of our number one favorite dishes and such a staple in Mustard Headquarters is brown rice and lentil congee.

4:58 One of the most disgusting things I've ever seen. Brown rice only has... Well, it also has fiber, I was gonna say only carbohydrates, sugar, which is bad. White rice is better. Lentils, pretty much the same thing, just some more anti-nutrients. Veggies... really, really unhealthy with sauteed veggies.

[video] 5:23 Basically, congee is just like rice that's cooked for so long that it becomes like a porridge or a gruel, which I admit does not sound particularly appetizing, but it is just so, so, so good. So just like throwing veggies in there and then seasoning with garlic and ginger and soy sauce and vinegar and hot sauce. I kid you not, my saliva glands are actually like reacting just now by talking about this.

5:49 It's the best food in the world because it really... Why do you lie for the camera, man? You talk about nature, which didn't make any sense at all at the beginning. Now you talk as if you naturally crave that. No human on earth would find it appealing. All humans would find this disgusting.

[video] 6:07 You should see David when he's on congee.

6:09 He becomes like... Yeah, yeah, some red sauce to imitate animal foods, blood.

[video] 6:14 happy, calm, super content person, and when he's...

6:17 Even more? Yeah, of course, because you don't want to eat food that looks white and green. What food in nature looks like that? It looks like maggots, grass, and leaves.

[video] 6:27 Not on Konji, he becomes much more, you know, like up and down, hunger moody, and I go like, oh honey, it's time you make another batch of the good stuff, you know? Also, have you seen that wonderful documentary?

6:38 If that's the good stuff, I don't wanna see the bad stuff.

6:44 About that meal, I should add that cruciferous vegetables such as kale have goitrogens, and she does look like she may have thyroid problems.

[video] 6:56 So it hits me sometimes, like, wait, people eat what now? Especially when seeing, you know, an ad for meat, it just looks so alien to me that I get an actual shock that people still eat this. So, which I guess shows that a lot.

7:09 Yeah, people still eat what they have always been eating since the beginning of humanity. What a shock. It says a lot about you that you're surprised about it. It's so weird. And again, you talk about nature when you're doing the most unnatural thing on earth.

[video] 7:25 That's happened in 15 years back when David and I were the aliens for not eating meat.

7:30 I'm not surprised that that's how her boyfriend looks like.

[video] 7:34 One of the loveliest effects of going vegan, at least for me, is that I feel kind of like, you know, a sweet person. So I've realized over the years that I'm just naturally a lover girl.

7:45 It doesn't seem like it at all though. You seem like you would be very, very mean in real life. Or is it just me?

[video] 7:51 sensitive and completely uncynical so then when life you know kicks you around for a bit and you learn more about how horrible the world is she kind of looks like the witch that you would have in a fairy tale in a lot of ways of course you become more cynical as you grow older but it is not my nature and i think for me you don't naturally become cynical when you become older Choosing this one aspect of my life where I'm being sweet and against violence, it makes me feel like I'm not disconnecting from my sweet and sinful life.

8:22 I don't know about being sweet, but you are not against violence whatsoever. If a human being would eat the garbage that you ate there before, it would cause incredibly many health issues. So you are violent against humans, you promote human abuse, you promote human sickness. It is a kind of violence against human beings if you are making them sick with your terrible advice. Whether it's ignorance or not doesn't really matter, you're still making them sick.

[video] 8:53 So I have no idea if this makes any sense but like whenever someone says it's no point going vegan or doing this or that because just one person can't make a difference and of course that's true but like it makes a difference for me and how I look at myself and my life and also all those cynical people who said to us 15 years ago that we wouldn't make a difference it's kind of crazy to me to see how much has changed since then and like

9:14 How did you make a difference? You're super self-obsessed.

[video] 9:19 Every supermarket having, you know, 15 different types of vegan mayonnaise or whatever.

9:24 Yeah, it's a big business and the government subsidizes all of these foods. Soy, of course, also. Why would it not be popular now? It's what the government wants the sheep to eat.

[video] 9:36 And of course, it's not because David and I went vegan way back when, but it's because many millions of people did. I've actually never thought about it that way before. I have to say it does make me feel kind of good about being like an optimistic, sweet, naive girlie.

9:53 Sweet naive girl. Oh, it's nice that she admits it. She is naive, yes. She doesn't realize that people went vegan around 2010 because the media started promoting it. That's the only reason. Humans wouldn't naturally go vegan. Humans don't crave Plants, such as grass and leaves, they only eat these man-made plants, which you can kind of stomach, all of these man-made vegetables, none of which exist in nature, nothing that you ate there exists in nature. You cook all of the seed foods, grains, beans and lentils because you can't eat them in their natural state, you can't eat them raw. Only food that you can eat raw is our natural food.

[video] 10:33 Another surprising thing It's so, so, so, so, so much easier than I thought that it would be. Like I said, I'm not Joan Didion, I do have a healthy appetite, like a really, really big taste for food, and I used to love all the cheeses and sour creams, and yes, the taste of meat and fish too, although it's really weird to think about that now.

10:53 Again, she doesn't talk so bad about dairy because she probably secretly eats it, but she does talk bad about meat.

[video] 10:59 Yeah, but you try to imitate meat all of the time She's disconnected from her own body, her needs and senses She uses the red sauce to imitate meat and blood

[video] 11:22 or consistency or ingredient or whatever that I miss. Not even a little, little bit, which I definitely thought that I would.

11:30 What else is that supposed to be? What does it look like? Your body doesn't understand that you're a brainwashed slave. It believes that you're about to eat an animal. That's literally what it looks like.

[video] 11:39 I asked David about this too, just before planning this video. And he said the same, like if he sees something non-vegan that looks good, he just thinks about eating.

11:48 Yeah, but again, your body believes that you're eating real ice cream. I guess that it's fake ice cream. Is it even really, though? I don't know. That's it. Your body believes that it's about to consume animal fat, the fat soluble vitamins. And by the way, Jesus, the guy looks incredibly sick. Wow. He does look like a vegan, he's probably been vegan for a while. Oh my god.

[video] 12:11 The vegan version of it. And that brings me to another unexpected thing about going vegan, actually. I told you guys before that, like, having a creative job where I need to constantly come up with ideas for new content and, like, make a thousand micro decisions every...

12:26 Wow, she looks close to anorexic here.

[video] 12:30 Every single day, I've definitely over the years nurtured quite a case of decision fatigue. Too many options is a bad thing in my mind. And back in the day when we went vegan, more or less the only options for protein was like beans, lentils, or firm, plain tofu. Of course, since then there's been like an explosion of vegan foods. But still, I do feel like our diet is very simple and a packed-back way of eating. Just like veggies, congee, tofu, noodle soup, and porridge. Like basic, simple food on repeat. And whenever we order takeaway, it's like, we want to support vegan restaurants, so instead of hundreds of local options to order in from, we have like, what, five or ten? So it's just like a more scaled down...

13:03 Fake sushi craving raw fish, pizza craving cheese...

[video] 13:08 Simple way to eat, both at home and when going out. So what about the negative surprises? I've tried to think of something, and I know that some vegans feel like it's sad to go...

13:18 It's not really hard to think of something, look in the mirror.

[video] 13:21 home and visit family when they can't eat like the traditional food that they... Man, what's wrong with her face?

13:27 She looks so incredibly abnormal. She looks almost like an alien.

[video] 13:30 ...grew up with, but I don't have the problem at all. So the one thing that I could think of that could be a negative maybe and that I would never ever had thought about back when deciding to go vegan is that I don't think that I could now fall in love with someone who is a non-vegan. Like it's just such...

13:47 That doesn't make any sense. Love has to do with looks. You're just together with him because you're both brainwashed vegan slaves and it's easier for you to live with him. I would bet my life that there's no love between those two.

[video] 14:00 It's a huge part of who I am and how I see the world that I can't see myself living with someone or kissing someone or sharing my whole life with someone who would eat meat.

14:11 Yeah, exactly. Living with somebody, sharing your life with them, You're talking about convenience, you're talking about your man-made values, it's irrelevant in a relationship which is about attraction. Of course, you would kiss somebody who you find attractive, whether they are vegan or not, it's common sense, but nobody attractive would ever find you attractive, that's the problem here. That's why your boyfriend looks the way he looks, and that's why he's together with you. You both don't have any other options. That's why you stay together. People who are unattractive stay together with each other because of a lack of options.

[video] 14:47 Isn't that strange? Like, I never would have thought about it all those years ago, but if David died or dumped me, I would have to find myself another plant head. Luckily, there's so many more of us around nowadays. You just have to go to Whole Foods to find us, you know? Another thing that might shock you to know is that I'm now 15 years in and I'm still waiting for that protein deficiency to kick in.

15:11 I see it. I think everybody who's watching this video does.

[video] 15:16 Any day now. What about you? Are you vegan?

15:19 Also, by the way, she has a lot of makeup on. Who the hell knows how her face really looks like?

[video] 15:24 or a meat eater, or maybe vegan curious. I know that we all have very different experiences about food, but I hope that me sharing what these 15 years have been like might be helpful in any way. Oh, and thank you to everyone who has already pre-ordered my book. You're my favorite people, that's for sure.

15:40 It's funny that her book is called Okay Days. I don't know what it's supposed to imply, but her days are probably just okay. She's malnourished. She has no energy. She has no children. Her life is completely empty. Her so-called love life is probably also non-existent. She just cares about her business, whatever she does. She looks like one of the most miserable people I've ever seen in my whole life. And that's because plants don't have over 15 micronutrients, which is funny because she's been vegan for supposedly 15 years, which as I said, I don't believe. Thanks for watching.