Joey Carbstong's Obsession with Meat & Knives

Watch on YouTube · 2021-11-21 · 14 min

0:00 What's up guys? I'm gonna review a video by my favorite guy, Joey. It's called, I've never eaten a more delicious breakfast in my life. Ever.

[video] 0:25 How you going, Derek? I'm really good. Awesome to hang out and actually cook with you, Joey, finally. Other than following you and watching your amazing work, I'm super excited to actually cook for you now. So this is Dezza's kitchen. Can I call you Dezza? It's a bad nickname, but, you know, it's great.

0:40 He has a really psychotic look still. It's only gonna get worse, obviously.

[video] 0:44 But we're in your kitchen here, and what have we got here today? What are we gonna do today? Like, we've got some breakfast-y stuff, it looks like. Yeah, so... Breakfast-y stuff? What is that? Ooh, they look good. Did we get a close-up of these patties? Check him out.

0:58 How do the patties look good exactly? Because they look like meat. So you're saying you like the look of meat, animal flesh. Okay.

[video] 1:06 Get rocking. All right, guys. So we're gonna make these breakfast sandwiches and I'm gonna have you help me out a little bit. I'm gonna have you... Will you please cut this? So I have this knife. You can cut these in half for me. Do you trust me with this knife? I trust you. Here, do me a favor. Let me see.

1:22 I wouldn't ever in a million years, man. That guy.

[video] 1:26 Let's see this for a second. I'm going to open the tofu.

1:28 It's the easiest way.

[video] 1:30 It's not even really funny how you can cut those. So that's why I got that egg texture. Yeah. And as far as instead of buying gadgets to press tofu, I just use my hand. Why waste? Why waste the money on buying a gadget when you can just do this? And I don't mind a little bit of water in there because, you know, it's packed in water and why we have to try to escape it all the time. So thank you for doing that. Now I'm going to have you do me a favor. Super. Just butter them, butter each side, butter them really well. So let me show you quick. So just butter it super well. That's naughty.

1:59 That really is naughty and it's actually disgusting because if it's made out of mostly vegetable oils, which I assume really any plant oils in general, it's usually hydrogenated. Let's say it's not, then still you're eating so many polyunsaturated oils. It's so incredibly inflammatory because it's based on omega-6s and that's processed also. It can't really get any worse than eating vegan butter. And then I'm going to crank up the stove.

[video] 2:38 for butter actually we've got the vitalite dairy-free plant-based deliciousness and people can get them from any shop their local Tesco yep I do most of all my shopping at Tesco since I work for Tesco yeah cool story you know there was this point where Tesco took this massive turn and I was like look how vegan it is in here 2019 yeah exactly the wicked range the wicked range is completely vegan so you're completely safe here they've got a lasagna if you want meals already done the wicked range is amazing

3:07 So you don't wonder why such a big supermarket chain all of a sudden introduces all of these plant-based meals? It's not maybe because they want everybody to eat plant-based? To possibly go vegan? That never crosses your mind?

[video] 3:22 Go, Tesco. Look at this one. Go, Tesco. Dude, you started cranking it in there. I was like, wow. I'm going to oil the pan a little bit. I like using cast iron pans because of the even heat and I love the weight of it. And then I also, I always have two because I do a lot of cooking with mushrooms and pressing mushrooms. So maybe we'll do one of those soon.

3:38 Plant oils oxidize super easily. Cooking with plant oils in general It's just not very clever whatsoever. People always used to use animal fat and that's what people should still do if they want to cook.

[video] 3:51 I mean, being vegan now for eight years, it kind of bends my mind out that people actually eat pigs for breakfast. Yeah, it's a little crazy. So this has got that, you know, sausagey.

4:04 It's so crazy that people eat something that they've been eating since the beginning of life. And now people who actually imitate it with incredibly unhealthy ingredients, those are the sane ones.

[video] 4:20 We're just starting to sear off these. I'm just gonna do a quick flip. So I'm just gonna get a nice little color on the sausage patty. They're super good, man. They're so succulent and they're just good.

4:36 You're literally describing animal food cravings, yet you call people crazy who actually eat the peas.

[video] 4:44 So what I'm gonna season this with as well is to make that eggy flavor is I use black salt. Uh-huh. Okay, you also want eggs. But you can smell that. It just smells like sulfur. Yeah, yeah. And tofu's got that, it's like the perfect egg replacement. It is. It is. And we could have taken the time to dye it with a turmeric and all I would do is hot water, a little tea, half a teaspoon of turmeric.

5:08 It's a perfect egg replacement. Some kind of estrogenic sponge. with basically no other nutrients compared to eggs, which have the fat soluble vitamins A and D, which you will never get from plants in general. Basically, almost everything you need.

[video] 5:24 Oh, look at that. Am I getting that? Okay, it's essentially too severely mentally ill guys here. It's as if they are salivating just imagining that those are actual animal foods, meat and eggs.

[video] 5:53 you can totally see that they want fat so much and everything it just goes so incredibly much against human nature it's so bizarre you know our replacement for a sausage egg and cheese yeah yeah yeah because i i didn't give up animal products because i didn't like the taste i gave up i gave up because of

6:11 Yeah, you like to taste naturally because it's our natural diet. Obviously, if it tastes good, then you should eat it. And yes, that only applies to natural foods, not processed ones, obviously, not fake food. But if an animal tastes good, well, then maybe you should eat animals.

[video] 6:26 Same reason, yeah. I used to smash those sausage McMuffins. Exactly. So now we can just make our own. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, of course, people always say, well, why are you trying to replicate, like, sausage? Because it's tasty. But we don't want, like, an animal suffering to death for it. Exactly. You know what I mean? I totally do.

6:49 But that's exactly what you want. That's human nature. We are predators. We hunt animals, we eat them, we like the taste because we like to eat dead animals or animal flesh. That's what it's all about. If you try to make meat out of plant oils and whatever garbage is in there, then of course you're simply going to be nutritionally deficient. And then you're going to make all of these meals, but they of course don't have the nutrients. So you're just going to make tons of them all of the time, create new recipes, just go completely mental until you break down.

[video] 7:27 Look at the golden so it's nice and and we're gonna toast them. So we have as if you can't wait to eat Joey When is it ready cooking for the whole crew here?

7:37 Should we have four of them we're doing and then he's gonna eat it and he's still gonna be satisfied and it will go on until he gets super sick if you can get that but like I

[video] 7:48 Yeah, in America they do. I haven't seen it here yet. Well, it's in Starbucks in the UK because I tried it the other day and I was like, whoa. Good? Yeah, it was good. Good.

7:57 Yeah, that's all the guy eats. Meat replacements.

[video] 8:00 Richmond Foods also have a pretty good vegan bacon in the UK. I prefer the Richmond's or even the Naked. The Naked? Yeah. Nice. So try and check out the vegan bacon. They're getting really good, actually. Or maybe you can make your own. It's lovely. We can help the cookbook. We have a whole section on how to make different vegetables into bacon and tofu into bacon, rice paper into bacon. It's all about the flavouring. Frankie. Frankie? Who's Frankie? Oh my lord! I got this for you.

8:29 Oh wow.

[video] 8:30 Can we get a shot so people can see?

8:33 Okay, so we're gonna give it what? Fake cheese? So it's animal abuse right in front of our eyes. And they don't even get it, probably.

[video] 8:41 Hello, darling. I got some cheese for you. This is the fall of your heart cheese, the smoked cheese. Oh dear. Oh. Look at your beautiful... Beautiful fur, so silky.

8:57 It's not gonna be beautiful if you're gonna continue feeding him that.

9:03 Frankie.

[video] 9:06 It's bacon, vegan bacon-ace. Bake no nays. What's this cheese here? Follow your heart. This is the follow your heart smoked gouda. Smoked gouda. So I'm just getting a little bit of this bacon-ace. Oops, just a little bit. Now you could add hot sauce, you could add sriracha, you could have barbecue sauce. I'm not a ketchup fan.

9:32 Nobody on earth would call this the best breakfast ever. It makes no sense. The only reason he does that is because he craves animal foods so incredibly much that anything that replicates it and gives him some illusion of eating animal fat, especially is of course gonna be the best breakfast ever for him, because he's starving. His cells in the body are starving, and he's completely delusional and in denial.

[video] 9:59 So I would not add ketchup, but I know people like it. I love ketchup. I just do. With a pack of four, I usually will make four, and I'll have one every morning. Some days, admit, I might have breakfast, lunch, and dinner. So I'll just eat the same thing. You're eating like a vegan king over here, mate. I'm gonna have to move in. You got a spare room here, mate, or what? I do. I do for special guests, Joey. Vegan muffins every morning? Damn! Then I just like to... Good one. It's really hot right now, so you need to let me sit for a second. I might have to get a picture of my phone here quick.

10:36 I don't know what is supposed to look good about it. The big block of tofu is super unappealing and unappetizing. I don't even understand why a vegan would like it.

[video] 10:46 This is what I want to tell you guys. The smell right now is like warm muffins, butter. Deliciousness. You know, sausage and melted cheese. That's the smell. And that's nice. Okay. With the camera guy in the back. There you go. Nice.

[video] 11:05 Nice.

[video] 11:08 Smells good. So it is time for a taste test, but... We gotta eat. Yeah, but I thought because we have off-camera Jimmy the Sound Guy, Jimmy the Sound Guy's not vegan, so I thought, well, we've been vegan for a while, we know what this stuff kind of tastes like, so let's get Jimmy a non-vegan perspective here. Here it goes.

11:28 Look at that. It's probably what, some might?

[video] 11:32 I don't know what you said. But it's delicious, man. That's really good right there. Of course. I know because I've eaten so many.

11:40 Would he ever say anything else while filming a video? Ever?

[video] 11:43 The tofu is so nice and tender. Immersive with everything. Gorgeous. And you were a chef for a while. And chefs do be honest, don't they? Yeah, I wouldn't lie. So this is really, really something else. And it's messy, which is good. Exactly. Beautiful. I bought hot sauce though. You want some hot sauce? I got hot sauce. Yeah, yeah. Check it out, mate. Living the dream here. We live the dream here. We live the dream. Look, there is no more...

12:09 This is a dream. You're delusional, so I guess you could call it a dream. To normal people, it looks like a nightmare.

[video] 12:16 See? Good news. That's good. Thanks for that, mate. I'll give you that $100 later for that review. No, we're already joking. That was a real review. Cheers, man. Cheers.

12:27 Let's go. I like the knife sounds between the clips.

[video] 12:36 Oh, man. Okay.

[video] 12:46 That sausage is flavorsome. So thank you for tuning in. We've got some more recipes coming, so stay tuned for the next episode. Yeah, thanks, Joey. No worries. Cheers, man.

12:55 He just looks fragile. Something is wrong with his bones and his skin. I guess that's eight years of veganism, if that's really true. That would also explain, obviously, those insane animal food cravings you have, man. I just don't understand what's going through your head that you don't understand. You really live in denial and say that you like the taste and it's all about the taste. You understand that we taste nutrients when we eat the food. That's why we like the taste. You're trying to imitate nutrients which are not found in plants. So you will never be able to imitate any of it. That's because plants don't have over 50 nutrients, as you can see. This is exactly why veganism is malnutrition. And it would be funny if a few people would eat a vegan diet and we could laugh at them or feel sorry for them. Usually both.

13:49 Whatever, but seeing as it's an agenda that's being pushed, as you could see in the Tesco for example, all of the supermarkets are offering more and more plant-based options. Eventually you won't have much of a choice and you will just have to eat what is available. Meat is already quite expensive. And people like this dumb guy are being used by all of the corporations, big pharma, to promote their diet so that everybody gets sick. And they are the only ones laughing. And he's just too mentally ill to understand what's going on. Thanks for watching.