Sauche Stache: A Really FAKE & DISGUSTING Vegan Pork Belly

Watch on YouTube · 2021-03-18 · 10 min

0:00 Hey everyone. As requested by a lot of you, I'm going to review a video by Sauce Stash. This one's called Finally a Real Vegan Pork Belly.

[video] 0:10 Today's video is sponsored by Green Chef. Now this is gonna be fatty. It's not gonna like, it's not gonna mimic the meaty meaty portions of pork belly, mostly just the fat, some texture and flavor. Wow. Okay, so to get started, we have about three cups of starch water. Now this is leftover starch water from the last video where we made the washed flour seitan. Now this is a very common thing. This isn't something new. I didn't invent this or even come up with the technique. And I have used this in the past to make like some starch bacons. I've done a few starch bacons and I recently did a starch pepperoni, which was wildly good.

0:41 Basically, this whole channel is about imitating meat for the starving vegans, and of course it's called Satan for a reason.

[video] 0:50 So let's get moving. This is gonna be quick. You just need a microwave and a microwave-safe container, you know, a rectangle microwave-safe container to get your pork belly loaf out of. So the first thing that we're gonna do is we're gonna separate our starch water into...

1:01 The fact that he uses a microwave already shows that this has of course nothing to do with health, obviously.

[video] 1:06 For the meat side, we're gonna want to add one tablespoon soy sauce, one tablespoon maple syrup, one teaspoon smoked paprika, half teaspoon liquid smoke, one tablespoon mushroom seasoning, one teaspoon tomato paste, one tablespoon pea protein, one teaspoon beetroot powder, and one teaspoon vital wheat gluten. Mix that up, set that aside, and in the other bowl, we're going to be adding one tablespoon of coconut oil and one teaspoon of mushroom seasoning. Now, I've been using this stuff quite a bit in a lot of videos recently. This, this shingy flavor broth stuff, it's really good. Now, this is entirely plant-based. This is a pork flavor broth. It's artificial pork flavor. If you find this, add about a teaspoon into your meat side mixture. It'll give it a little extra flavor.

1:41 All of the ingredients are essentially toxic, and then, of course, you also have artificial meat spices, so to speak, even though he could just admit that he's mentally ill, and so are his viewers, of course.

[video] 1:53 At this point, we have our meat side and our fat side. We have our two bowls. They're both looking pretty good. I'm pretty happy about this. Now this is where we're gonna take our microwave-safe dish, we're gonna wipe it down with a little bit of oil, and then we're gonna start layering up the meat. So we're just gonna do a thick layer This is absolutely ridiculous. Why would you go through all of this trouble to create something which you could easily just go and buy? There's absolutely zero reason. It will simply destroy your health and you will live in the delusion

2:39 Where you believe that you don't need meat even though you're doing everything to recreate it right now.

[video] 2:50 At this point we want to lighten up the meat layer just a touch so we're just gonna add just a little bit maybe a tablespoon of your fat into the meat layer and then do a thicker layer of

3:01 Nobody before 10 years ago would have ever even thought of doing something like this. It's a clear sign of modern starvation. Only people who are malnourished and starving would ever even think about doing something like this. It's incredibly time consuming and it will end up being toxic sludge for sure with none of the nutrients that you would get from actual pork belly.

[video] 3:24 Thicker fat layer now. Save just a little bit. Now mix the remaining of what you have left. You should have a little bit of the fat side left and very little of the meat side left.

3:35 But that's not at all fat. What are you talking about?

[video] 3:38 We're going to mix those together to create the...

[video] 3:44 Okay, now at this point, this looks awesome. The cap looks awesome. Everything looks good. Working my way around. Perfect. That alone already shows that it's all about money for him. He's catering to the starving vegans, but then again promotes a company.

4:16 that does food for pretty much every diet.

[video] 4:17 I mean, and then look at this Green Chef meal.

4:39 Okay, let's look at it. What are those mushrooms? There are zero nutrients. Macro and micro. Rice is just fiber and sugar. Just some greens, which are toxic and indigestible anyway. Just some more fiber. It's completely irrelevant how it tastes like anyway, seeing as it's...

[video] 4:56 nutritionally absolute garbage i mean it comes out so unbelievably good what an actor oh my god what a tool now you can see that bottom layer since it was really cooked it really got really dense uh it's re it's solid it's a solid dip

5:22 I'll tell you the biggest difference between this and real pork belly. If you would eat all of this, you would 100% get severe food poisoning. And that's all you need to know.

[video] 5:34 No, pork belly has fat. This doesn't have fat at all. Fat comes from animals.

5:50 You cannot call plant oils, even if they are saturated or who knows what you do to them, such as margarine, that's simply plant oils and they are incredibly toxic for humans, especially in such quantities, whereas saturated animal fat, even from pork, if it's well fed, is incredibly healthy, it has all the fat soluble vitamins.

[video] 6:13 A slice, we're just gonna score the top cap in a cross pattern score, now, so to make it a little easier,

6:21 What's also funny is that he's imitating a cooked pork belly, of course. There's no way to imitate raw, natural pork belly in its natural state. Obviously, because again, he's catering to the slaves.

[video] 6:35 I'm just gonna drop a little bit of oil on my knife. now with the look of that cross section top cap you should really be getting some pork belly vibes we're going to brush the top and the bottom of this with some coconut oil this is going to solidify up in the refrigerator we're not going to use much but it's also going to tie all of these pieces together and it's also going to give it a self-sustaining fat so that way when you cook this just like real pork belly you won't need to add any extra fat to the pan now before you go on and talking about how much oil is added to this

7:06 it's supposed to mimic pork belly it's not going to be healthy for you let's let this refer oh my god what can you even say to that he's completely ignorant of course he follows the general opinion that if it's saturated fat if it's meat it's pork whatever then it's not healthy right so it's not supposed to be healthy Of course meat is healthy, it's just an animal. What is unhealthy about an animal? Whereas this, paprika and whatnot, those are all toxic spices with vegetable oils. That is incredibly unhealthy. It's in no way comparable to the absolutely healthy pork belly.

[video] 7:51 Okay, so this has been in the fridge for a few hours. It's firmed up. You can toss it in the freezer if you want just to kind of finish off that coconut oil. Now at this point, I'm just gonna make sure that my knife stays fairly oiled. I mean, these look so good. This looks so awesome. First thing that we're gonna do is we're gonna sear this on all side. We're gonna start with the cap side. You wanna start with the cap side and then the bottom side.

8:11 But when you already say that, you're admitting that you think that meat looks awesome and that you crave meat. And it's the same for any vegan who is watching this and wants to recreate it. You're absolutely mentally ill not realizing that you want pork belly.

[video] 8:27 Just give those a quick sear in a hot iron skillet with about a tablespoon of soy sauce. And we're going to just simmer those in. It's in like this braising liquid for just a few moments. That's going to soften up the crispy part on the bottom that was cooked to give you a more meaty, tough-like consistency.

8:42 And then after a few minutes... Again, he's just completely admitting in front of everybody what it's all about.

[video] 8:49 In the braising liquid, this is what we're left with. It has a solid, meaty bottom, that crispy top. Look at that piece of pork belly.

9:05 Look at that piece of pork belly. Look at how delusional I am.

[video] 9:13 He's laughing also. Gosh, I am happy about that. I mean, look at that.

9:18 Alright guys, there you can see how far people actually go to recreate meat. And this is simply because plants don't have over 50 nutrients and you will forever, even if you're a vegetarian, crave meat. It's just inevitable because even as a vegetarian you wouldn't be getting certain amino acids, but as a vegan you're not getting the fat soluble vitamins, some of the B vitamins. It's just endless starvation, always looking for recipes, always watching videos by guys like this or girls who keep trying to recreate what they are actually craving. And then they in front of the camera say, wow, this looks so good. This looks so meaty, fatty and whatnot. And the closer they get to what they actually want, the higher the rating will be and the more people will like it and share it

10:15 To all of the starving people out there, it's just ridiculous. And for anybody who understands what they're watching, it's just absolute comedy. But it's sad. Unfortunately, it really is. Thanks for watching, guys.