Selfish Single Mother Makes the Choice to Ruin Her Daughter's Life @Michelle Elizabeth

Watch on YouTube · 2024-02-15 · 22 min

0:00 Yo guys, I have a request that I'm going to review the video called Deciding to be a single mother by choice age 35.

[video] 0:07 Hi there, my name is Michelle. I'm starting this channel to share my experience in becoming a single mother by choice. I am 35 and living in Denver, Colorado and I have made the decision to have a baby on my own using donor sperm. So there are a lot

0:26 Right off the bat, I gotta say that this is a terrible decision. Seeing as a child needs parents, they need a mother and a father. A girl who grows up without a father is usually gonna end up being a s**t. And a boy who grows up without a father is going to end up... being more feminine, obviously, because he has no actual father as in a man in his life. And there's of course a lot of mental issues that children in general will develop growing up without a father or a mother. It should be both.

[video] 1:03 A lot of topics that I want to cover and I do want to share the process from start to finish. Today I just want to focus on how I arrived at this decision and what inspired me to make this choice. I first got the idea to become a single mother by choice about a year and a half ago when I was 33. My life at the time was not where I thought it was going to be. I thought I would be married and I thought I would have kids and I wasn't close to.

1:24 That's already your problem right there but that's also a bigger problem with Americans. In Eastern Europe Women still understand that they need to get married as young as possible. Not that you need to get married. Marriage is man-made. It doesn't even exist. It's just something in your head. You imagine it. But you should get together with somebody... early as you possibly can and create a family when you're naturally supposed to biologically but what did she do the last 20 years did she imagine that she would be married at 33 because she would already be married for a long time or did she imagine that she would actually get married in her 30s because if she thought that then it's absolutely delusional who wants to marry a A woman in her 30s who's already been together with guys, most likely. It doesn't make any sense if that's what she imagined.

[video] 2:13 Either of those things. And it was disappointing to me because that's what I thought I wanted. And I remember going to a party at the time with coworkers and significant others. And one of them was pregnant. One of them had just had a new baby. And we were talking about motherhood and pregnancy and all the things. And I remember feeling like this is where I belonged. Like this was clearly the next step in my life journey and the stage.

2:37 That's again your problem. This shouldn't have been your next step. It should have been a step that you took ages ago when you were naturally supposed to. Now that you're older, you're not as appealing anymore. You don't have many eggs left. You're generally not as attractive. She looks pretty all right. She has a filter on, I'm pretty sure. Also, of course, a lot of makeup. She's trying to look as good as possible with the hair and everything. I get it. I imagine that she looked pretty attractive back when she was actually very fertile. But of course, those years are already gone.

[video] 3:11 Life I wanted to be in, but it was so sad because I wasn't in a relationship. I wasn't anywhere near those things. And so I went home and I just cried. And then I woke up the next day.

3:27 It's understandable because human beings in general, men and women, one children, women especially have this... feeling of wanting to nurture another human being, their babies. Many babies, of course, not just one child. A single mother with one child. Is that what this is going to be about? Jesus Christ. And of course, if you can't do this, something that you naturally want to do, then you will want to cry. Obviously, naturally, it's a huge part of your natural life that's missing.

[video] 4:06 And I started to research, as I often do anytime I'm distressed or confused. And so what I found is that I actually can just have a baby, start a family on my own, even though I don't have a life partner yet.

4:25 Yes, in modern slavery you can do that and they want you to do that because then the child will be traumatized growing up with a single mother who of course will not actually have the nerves to take care of a child alone. I don't know if there's any family members around, maybe, if not then it's going to be an absolute nightmare for the child. Also, of course, it would be naturally impossible to have a child through a sperm bank. That's only something that you can do today and it's horrible that this is possible.

[video] 5:04 And that many women choose to do this and they call themselves single mothers by choice. It's like a light bulb turned on and I just thought, whoa, like this sounds amazing and maybe even better in a lot of ways.

5:21 99.99% of single mothers are single mothers by choice. Even if they created a child naturally, they still choose to be single mothers. I've never heard of a guy who actually left his children or didn't want to see his children. Yes, people break up, but I've never in my life heard of a guy who somehow left his children or didn't want to see his children or anything like that. There may be some crazy cases like that out there, maybe somebody who has some kind of mental issues, who's actually very mentally ill or so, who doesn't even understand what reality is, but a normal human being is never gonna in any way leave his children, even if the parents break up, which is why this is no different from any single mothers out there.

[video] 6:10 than doing it with a partner. So I've dated a lot in my life. I've been in many different relationships.

6:20 Again, that's your problem. How do you end up being alone at 35 only by dating a lot of guys? Any woman who dates more than one guy is a f***er.

6:35 essentially she has to be and if you've been with many guys then what are you come on obviously you cannot create any kind of bonding with anybody if you've been with more than one guy it's just impossible you will always usually think back to the first guy you were together with because you were actually supposed to have children with him and maybe some other guy rarely you're just never going to be able to connect with anybody anymore this is the mistake that women do today. If there's any young women watching this video, really, seriously, don't lose your virginity just to any guy. Only the guy that you're 100% sure you're gonna have children with.

[video] 7:22 And I still haven't found a person who I want to commit to for life and have kids with.

7:29 It kind of sounds like you dated a lot of guys. As I said, she's not ugly, but she didn't find the right guy, as in the really attractive guy who wanted to have children with her. Maybe some average or slightly above average guys wanted to have children with her, but they were not... good enough for her. Okay, maybe I'm completely wrong, but it's just strange that you end up being completely alone at 35.

[video] 7:57 And, you know, even though I am making the decision to start on my own, I'm not ruling it out. Like, it's not like I'm swearing off love forever. Love can come at any time, but fertility is finite.

[video] 8:12 It just really seemed like a great idea to me.

8:13 So I fully- A stranger's seed is going to enter you and you will be taking care of the child. What kind of a guy are you gonna find? You're probably already picky with guys. You can only find a very ugly guy who would want to be together with you at this point.

[video] 8:28 And down that path and I did everything. I met with a fertility doctor. I got all of my tests done. I spoke to a therapist about the choice. I purchased sperm. I was all ready to go. and get pregnant at 33 by myself. And then things happened and my plans got derailed. And I ended up realizing that I wasn't quite ready then. I'm grateful. I'm grateful it didn't happen at the time because I'm in a much better place now. I've been able to make an advantageous move for my career. I have become a lot more financially stable and really...

9:05 What does any of that matter if you hear about other women having children and then you have to cry? It's clear that that's what you want. You going after your career was the mistake here.

[video] 9:19 My savings a lot. And I also have had the opportunity to continue dating. I think at the time I just felt a little bit young at 33 and wasn't 100% sold on it.

9:32 How were you young at 33? You were way beyond the time you should have had children already, naturally. It just doesn't make any sense. This is just some weird American thing. In Kazakhstan, for example, all of the women understand that you have to have children at least by the age of 18. It's just a must. You're seen as incredibly abnormal in Kazakhstan if you don't have children naturally. past the age of 20, you're just completely abnormal. People look at you as if you're an alien, what? You're past the age of 20 and you don't have children? What's going on? And here she says, oh, I was 33 and you know, I felt kind of young.

[video] 10:12 A year and a half goes by and I'm, you know, doing all the responsible things and putting myself out there and going on dates and meeting people. And I did end up meeting a lot of great guys, but still just things weren't lining up in the marriage and family and kids department.

[video] 10:30 So the desire never went away.

10:31 I really wonder what didn't line up for her. Get together with a guy, even if you've been already with guys and it's gonna be hard for you to find somebody. Still, men are very desperate today. You can find guys to have a family with and really just make sure that at the very beginning, he understands that you want to create a family. Don't simply date somebody and sleep around for months, not making it clear what you want.

[video] 10:59 When you turn 35, Fertility gets a little bit scary. Do I want to have two kids or more? Whatever it is, now is the time to really make those choices. Just mourning that I wouldn't have that stereotypical, expected husband and wife, happy family situation. I mean, that can still happen down the road, but for now, for this first baby at least.

11:25 In a way, it's good if she would have more children, seeing as children need siblings. They need to play with them, but... This is naturally a job for at least two people. Of course, in nature, your whole family would be living together and there would be a lot of people around you helping you out. It would be no problem. But for her alone, with especially more children, it's going to be insanely stressful. It's just not doable.

[video] 11:52 It's just going to be me. And truly, I have to tell you, I am ecstatic about that. But it was a very difficult, gut-wrenching choice at first. So I've just decided this year is the year it's going down. I'm super ready for this. I went back to the doctor and have done all of my tests again. I've ordered sperm again. And I plan to do more videos on all of those details recently.

12:20 they probably choose the specific genetic traits that they want and maybe these are the traits that they didn't find in their partners because again if she was picky she maybe didn't find the perfect guy that she wanted or the guy at least didn't want to have a family with her and the guys who were average looking were just not good enough for her or the ones who didn't have the traits the perfect ones that she wants. Again, I'm just assuming things here, but I've heard of a lot of stories like this. I wouldn't be surprised if that's the case, because how do you end up alone at 35?

[video] 12:55 Christmas, I ended up spending the holiday alone. Accidentally, I was supposed to fly home to see my family, but it was a really bad winter and flights were delayed, and so I didn't end up making it, and I spent the holiday alone, also by choice. I did have invitations to join friends, local friends, but I don't know. I just like being alone. So...

13:14 You like being alone? Is that why you're having a child? What is up with this denial?

[video] 13:18 It was Christmas and I'm like by myself just sitting there thinking, gosh, I want to have my own family so badly. I'm so ready to like create a big.

13:29 Okay, so you want to be alone, but you were dreaming about having a family at the same time. Makes a lot of sense. Of course, nobody wants to be alone. Come on.

[video] 13:37 Beautiful life for myself and my kids and whoever else wants to join along in the ride. I want to do a Christmas with my kids.

13:47 But you're not going to be creating a happy life for your children by having an unnatural single mother sperm bank so-called family. The child is most likely going to be neglected and of course traumatized by growing up without daddy. Where is daddy? There's no father. It's just as unnatural as anything can get.

[video] 14:10 I made a fertility appointment the next day.

14:12 This is her channel now in pursuit of solo motherhood. And she actually had the child recently.

[video] 14:23 Just wanted to say a quick update. I had the baby. She's here. January 13th is her birthday. She was born at 12.36 p.m. Her name is Logan. Logan Livia. She was born...

14:39 Isn't Logan a guy's name? whatever it's a girl a girl who will grow up without a father that's where actual daddy issues come from um and you know how girls are who have daddy issues oh man uh There's just nothing good that can come out of this. It's just basically impossible. You could say that maybe she will meet a guy, which, as I said, is very unlikely, who will want to be together with somebody who already has a child from a sperm bank, especially.

15:16 And then he could be the father, but even if... You're never going to take care of somebody else's child as you would of your own. It's just impossible. And most guys don't want to do it at all. You can just never have the same kind of connection with some basically random child. It doesn't matter if you even fall in love with the mother. The child is just not yours.

[video] 15:45 5 pounds, 11 ounces, 19 inches long, and she's small for her gestational age, but super healthy, and I'm healthy, and I'm just so in love with her, and she's really just the sweetest thing I've ever seen in the world.

16:04 Of course, you love your child when your child is born, of course, but how is life going to be for her? You think about yourself, but why don't you think about the child before you create a child who's going to be with a single mother? That's just not going to be a so-called nice life for her whatsoever.

[video] 16:28 and my birth was so wild and awesome. I can't wait to tell that story. It was very dramatic. Think like water breaking all over the floor like in the movies and showing up to the hospital, 10 centimeters dilated, ready to push. It was super fun and crazy. So I'm now in the postpartum.

16:50 You shouldn't go to the hospital when you are delivering a child. They pump you full of drugs. They probably already pumped her full of hormones at the fertility clinic before that and probably also during. Who knows if the child is even actually healthy. Likely she is not. They give you the toxic vitamin K injections and some other stuff which I won't even mention on YouTube. It's horrible.

17:25 She does look small. Of course, you could say genetics, whatever. What is she going to feed her? Does she produce breast milk? I hope that she will at least breastfeed a child for a very long time, over a year at least. If she will give her a formula, then it's completely done. The life is ruined.

17:56 Thank you for your support and kind messages. Even though I can't respond right now, I'm reading them all and appreciate it. Yep.

18:06 Michelle, thank you for including us on your journey. I don't know what it is, but it's beautiful. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah. Wait, wait. You have inspired so many women that they can do this. No, you shouldn't be doing this. She's going to have the best mom to look up to. I'm not saying that the mother is bad as such. It was a bad idea in general, a super unnatural idea. But she may try her best. It's just that her best will still always be bad because it's her alone.

18:46 What you can achieve as a woman. You shouldn't be able to achieve this at all. You can't achieve this naturally. Can't wait to hear about your birth and what you flourish as a mom. Oh boy. Yeah, whatever. It's just a bunch of women not even realizing what they are doing to their children. Come on, seriously. You're just traumatizing a new generation. How is this even a thing? She's gorgeous. She really looks kind of underweight, I gotta say.

19:17 Oh, another one? Oh my god. What is this thing, man? I didn't even know that there's a community like this. Your gloving baby girl is the cutest. Thank you so much for sharing your dream. Well, her dream was to have a family with a man. This wasn't actually her dream, to be fair.

19:36 Take care of yourself and others. It's just the same garbage. I understand that there's people out there, even guys, who for whatever reason couldn't have children. They now want to adopt children or become single mothers through a sperm bank. i get all of that but you really have to think about the child because the child is a part of you and in this case part of somebody anonymous also it's strange okay the father doesn't care about the child he doesn't know that the child exists most likely but you do and because this is a part of you you should really think about it

20:21 did you have both of your parents was it not great or did you maybe not have both your parents maybe you didn't have a father who knows about her story are you gonna do the same to your child now how did you end up did you end up sleeping with a lot of guys never being able to actually create a bond with a guy do you want the same for your daughter would it not be more wise to actually find a husband uh i don't promote religions in any way at all but in this case wouldn't it maybe just maybe maybe i'm wrong be good to find a christian father somebody who at least values family i'm totally against religions but in this case for her wouldn't that maybe have been a better idea and then you will have somebody who's loyal who because of the religion actually believes in the value of families instead of going to a sperm bank.

21:19 I just can't imagine that this is going to end up well for the child. Maybe she will get some kind of love from the child, seeing as children attach to who is around. They just attach to anybody, and that's how it's naturally supposed to be. You attach to your family, of course. She will feel this so-called love from the child, but is the child really going to feel the love that it's naturally supposed to from one parent? Especially if she's going to be sort of stressed from the work because she's going to be alone. People often say that having children is selfish. Selfish, of course, really just means that you do something for yourself and we all look out for our own survival in the first place. And having children would essentially be the definition of being selfish, which is great, naturally. You produce other versions of yourself.

22:18 That's the definition of selfish. If anything, there's nothing wrong with it. It's actually very right and correct. to do that. But in this case, if you mean being more focused on your own needs only and not thinking about the children, if that's how you would define being selfish, then I would say yes, this is only caring about yourself and not really thinking about the future of your child, which is you. You're essentially destroying the future of the other version of yourself by doing this. Thanks for watching.