The Worst Rap Battle You Will Ever See! @DirtyMackademics

Watch on YouTube · 2025-02-19 · 17 min

0:00 Yo, yo, what's up? I'm gonna be reacting to my favorite rap battle of all time Touche vs Snipes, let's get it!

[video] 0:42 Ye ye ye ye, with the sunglasses also, that's what's up!

[video] 1:05 Let's get this shit cracking, man. Three minutes is too long to spend thinking about this fuckhead. Yeah. Showing a lot of love for the bro. And on this side, on my right, we have the homie Snipes. Come on, give it up.

1:19 Legend. There's nobody better than him.

[video] 1:21 Oh my God, sorry. So, Touche won the coin toss. He's gonna go first. Is that right? Yep. He's gonna go first. 60 seconds on Touche. Listen up. Alright, let's hope this shit isn't like last time. Alright, straight up. If my dog had a face like yours, I'd shave his fucking ass and teach it to walk backwards. Half the time I wonder why I rap for. All that he's doing is just talking fast so far. He's not even rapping. I know what rapping is by definition, but there's just...

2:09 no rhythm, nothing to it. Oh my god. Also, it is true that they usually attack people by saying that they are gay or that they have an ugly mother or something about their mom.

[video] 2:25 By the way, this is just basic. Yo, you know how whores go to St. Kilda, right? You love where the vinegar is, glitter is, is. But his hitting his bitch's difference is she opens the door and stands out the front. I roll past, give it a shit like, fish tastes better with lemon, you slut! She flips out of her nut and chases me down and I'm like, there's no need to get sour, cunt! You think I'm gonna be polite? Nah. In all honesty, I couldn't say it any nicer. The best way to advise you is to stay where your lights are, then tape your eyes up so you'll have slight luck to survive like five months if I decide to not slide an eye from inside your guts and even if you take your karma, you're still a bitch. I'm the fate decider. I'll run on empty, you fill your tank rider. It's my job to drain you in a cypher. You've got a better chance of taming a tiger or raping a dyke like this off her face inside a gay nightclub, time cunt.

3:13 Oh my god. Firstly, in the end, I guess that you could call it rapping, but he believes that because he's rapping really fast that he wins, basically. And he did say a gay nightclub, which means that he was actually trying to do the same of what he accused him of, of what he accused him of possibly doing. And then he still ended up doing the same, and that was the funniest part, the stupidest.

[video] 3:44 I'm sorry little kids, but I'm a killer clown today. I could say bullets are gonna spray. I'm from Brooklyn.

3:50 That's all right Yeah, he's from Brooklyn.

[video] 3:52 That's all right I think that this was filmed in Australia, but I'm not really sure but that's what it said in the comments But let me just say I like to get close and personal with a razor-sharp object But let me just say this I'm not going to stab you in the heart.

4:09 Let me just say, let me just say.

[video] 4:14 What I'm going to do is grab a pen, stab you in the neck, punch you in your lungs, then slam a blunt object into you.

4:27 All that he's doing is describing how he's gonna slowly kill him He's not even rapping How is this rapping in any way?

[video] 4:38 Come on you can do it I'm gonna take a

4:56 What a blunt object and cause internal bleeding and that's repping Yeah, cool Now before you die, let me just say this The reason I call myself snipes is because I take my time to rhyme.

[video] 5:08 I'm not complicated but I'm like a sniper. I aim straight for the heart or the head. I'm straight and direct Oh my god

5:24 It's been like two years since I saw this. It's still as good as ever.

[video] 5:30 I might hide 2Ks that way. You'll know when I hit you as soon as you hit the ground.

5:35 The way the guy is looking in the red t-shirt with the cap on, just like, what the fuck is going on here? How is this rapping? You're just describing how you're going to kill him.

[video] 5:53 But this guy said some shit on Facebook. Here we go, Joker the Dark Knight shit. So don't let me go all James Holmes on you, Dark Knight shooter. Is that a little bit too soon? Maybe. And let me just say this as well. If you want to be the Joker, why don't I give you a bottle of pills, a Chelsea smile, And instead of Heath Ledger dying, why don't you replace his death?

6:17 What the fuck? Instead of Heath Ledger dying, why don't you replace his death? What the fuck is that, man? Like, who comes up with it? Like, did they not prepare in any way? It's not as if this is really freestyling, right? Like, not at all, pretty much. Okay, I guess... They didn't know maybe who they're going up against, maybe. They probably even knew that. But still, even if not, you can prepare approximately what you're gonna say. But no, instead of Heath Ledger dying, why don't you replace Heath Duff or whatever? Like, who comes up with that? Like, what the fuck, man?

[video] 6:51 Because nobody would give two shits about a guy who looks like a fucking meth head. What's wrong with that?

6:59 What's wrong with that? Wait, did he say that or who? He said, what's wrong with it? Looking like a meth head. I think that the last time I checked, the comment section of this video was full of people saying that they all look like crackheads. It's like a gathering of crackheads, meth heads, which is kind of true. I think it's mostly because of the severe acne that some of them have, especially Touche.

[video] 7:28 Give it up for that round. Second on touche. Let's go. All right. Straight up. Everybody. This bloke came with rhymes like that hoping he'd win. Hell no. I personally reckon the sound of you rapping to Foul Flows is like saying red backwards while licking your elbow. Seriously. Give it a shot. Yeah. Yeah.

[video] 7:49 All right. Yo, this is a tea city impression. I'll leave. I'll be an Aussie rapper with the rep of Varley's. He also spoke words that were great, so I'll rewrite the Bible. Then bash you to death with it. I'll show you my verse of Slay. So say goodbye to one ounce, motherfucker. Trust me, you'll quit. I barely prepared last time. Lyrically, this is fully quipped. I couldn't build a house of cards, but I managed to build a prison over his farm because I got bars over bullshit. So basically, at this point in time, I'll snap this point in a vertical line. In other words, what like you've got to stand on this is touche with the truth, man. I'm so right, but so very damn wrong, just like...

8:19 Yeah, he at least memorized something. I don't know what the hell Snipes was thinking.

[video] 8:24 I love his beard also, the line here.

[video] 8:40 Bunch of daffodils, and that's for real. I have the ability to attract ravaged fools with savage tools who couldn't give a crap about attack and tactical, and I'll just end up having your chest cavity collapsing like the Westgate Bridge's first crappy build. Time! Give it up for them right now. Sticking on Snipes.

[video] 8:59 You said in your first battle against H. Murray... Hey, he has a cigarette in his hand now.

9:04 He's even cooler now.

[video] 9:07 His face looks like he got into a fight with the Bible. You can't say shit. Your face looks like you got into a fight with the blunt side of an axe. What?

9:23 Oh my god. Wait, where is Brooklyn, though? Because he says can't. He talks like he's from Australia, then also... Whatever.

[video] 9:37 Time! Alright!

9:40 What the fuck was that, man? Wait, what do you mean time? There was like 10 seconds.

[video] 9:46 Third and final on Touche, let's go. Alright. Oh my god, what the fuck, man. Does he have some kind of... Yeah, like a brain fart mental breakdown or something.

[video] 10:22 Fuck it.

10:23 There's no cause for debating, this is flawless demonstrating of how you're less- Man, they probably are on some kind of drugs or something. That's what it seems like.

[video] 10:31 ...entertaining than getting it on with Kerry and Kennelly after the fucking whore's been bathing. But taking out the fact this is your first battle, this and that and whatnot, it's hard for you to be threatening it all when you straight up look like a soft cock.

[video] 10:45 Yeah, fuck it. Take it. Time! All right, last verse on Snipes. Let's go, homie.

[video] 10:56 You think that I'm a soft cock. Really, I couldn't give two fucks, because you don't know me. You don't know what I've lived through. But let me just say this, I'm not the one to judge people.

11:06 Okay. Again, let me just say this, let me just say this.

[video] 11:11 Yeah, this is rap battling, I couldn't give two fucks. Only for the factor of, I do this because I love it. Whether or not I choke out, it doesn't matter. But at one ounce, if there's an MC like you, who basically their shit just breaks like Indian curry, the after effects, then don't waste your time. Go do something else. Go do something with your life. We should make a law. If Touche is ever going to make a kid, ever have a kid, get his dick in a cunt. What the fuck, man?

11:45 At first he describes in a very slow pace how he's gonna kill him and then he says he's gonna basically that you should kill his child. Like, what the fuck is wrong with this guy? Oh, it's snipes.

[video] 11:59 Man.

[video] 12:04 I'm going to say this. Maybe next time I'll come prepared. I got fucked up last night. I forgot my lines. Couldn't memorize them. Don't know where the fuck I put the piece of paper in my house. I bet you after this battle, I'm going to go home. Just be wandering around having a ciggy. And then I'm just going to find him and be like, oh, fuck, no.

12:24 Okay, Siggy, he's definitely Australian, though.

[video] 12:26 There they are. Right in front of me. But... This is all freestyle, only because I choked out. I forgot my lines, I couldn't give two fucks. But no one can give two fucks about a clown who tries and acts tough. Time. Time! I wanted to show you a small part of this rap battle. It was in a school, I'll tell you in a second why.

[video] 13:06 guy from St. Matthew High. My rocks are flying. And I know everyone in your fucking school wish you were the one in the car crash that died.

13:17 He said that everybody in the school wishes that you were the one that died in the car crash. And I think that some friend of his, or even the brother, from what I read in the comments, died in the car crash. But that's the thing, and then you will see what people say.

13:41 What is your problem, buddy? That's the whole thing. It's as if you have this imaginary line that you're not allowed to cross in rap battles, because rap battles are for absolute losers. It's the most pathetic thing that anybody ever thought of. It's kind of similar to fighting with your fists or kicking, but even way worse than that, because you're not doing anything, obviously. It's when you feel angry at somebody, but you let it out by talking to them, essentially. Yeah, you're rapping with some kind of rhythm, but still, you're essentially just making sounds. You're like a barking dog, but even worse, because you're not even barking. You're talking kind of silently, maybe with an aggressive tone at best. And there's nothing more pathetic on the surf than rap battles. It's just the biggest joke.

14:34 I wanted to review the video of Snipes, because obviously it's funny, but I also wanted to show you, really, especially because of the second clip, how pathetic it is that you can't cross this line, same as it is with fighting, otherwise you're disqualified, you have these rules as a slave, and when you do rap battles, you're just not allowed to even say specific stuff, so if he hurts his feelings too much, people get mad at him. But of course, naturally, everything is

15:06 open to be attacked, you can do whatever you want. In nature, when you defend yourself, literally physically, but in a rap battle also, of course, you should be able to say anything you want. But of course, there's no free speech, which is why also in a rap battle you feel like you can't really say what you want to. When it comes to social media, people are given more so-called freedom.

15:31 an illusion of freedom to say whatever they want to in songs, also when it comes to drawings in movies. That's why you can show horror movies on YouTube, but not actual real life events of exactly the same thing, just because it's fictional.

15:50 I think that it's pretty almost hypocritical to do that, but that's a different topic. In the second rap battle that I showed, people got pretty mad at the guy, they wanted to attack him, and that's how it is in rap battles. It's as if you have a problem with somebody, and instead of actually solving this problem naturally, you start talking to each other with a rhythm. And there's nothing stupider on this earth, whoever thought of rap battles, Was probably a joke loser himself and that's why he thought that it's cool to do that. No, it's the most pathetic loser thing on earth to do. What the hell is wrong with you people who do rap battles? Everybody laughs at you. Only people who do these rap battles themselves take them seriously. Everybody from the outside always laughs at them. It doesn't matter what you look at, Eminem from 8 Mile, the movie scene or whatever, it's all for losers. You have a problem, you deal with the problem.

16:50 You don't freaking start rapping to each other about how they are a loser or how they look bad and whatnot. Oh my god, man. That's why in the second one at least you could see that he

17:08 As far as rap battles go, he at least went as far as he should. He crossed this line, he broke free from the slavery, it's all slavery in itself, the rap battle, but at least He broke this imaginary line of what you're not allowed to say. That's why you can also see sometimes that a rap battle ends in a fight. Because it's what they really want to do. They hold themselves back. But when they get too close to each other or they say the wrong thing, it still ends up in a fight. That's what it's all about. People who do rap battles repress what they actually want to do. The biggest losers on this earth. Thanks for watching.