Tom Aspinall Teaches Joe Fazer How to Fight Like a Sissy Little Girl

Watch on YouTube · 2026-06-29 · 26 min

0:00 hey I'm going to be reviewing a video called I turned a youtuber into an MMA fighter

[video] 0:10 Alright guys, my name is Joe Fazer. I do YouTube videos for a living.

0:14 Yes, that includes videos of him eating worms and insects because he's too dumb and weak to survive in the wild.

[video] 0:27 I'm spending the day with Tom Aspinall. I'm learning MMA, but what's kind of scaring me a little bit is by the end of today, I've got to spend 60 seconds in the cage with him.

0:39 To be honest, that does look scary. He will be punching you with his gloves. Maybe you will even get a little bruise. It's unlikely, but it's possible.

[video] 0:54 The UFC heavyweight champion.

1:00 Oh, what an absolute kindergarten sport.

1:06 That nervous laughter.

[video] 1:09 Wish me luck.

[video] 1:17 Yo, yo.

1:18 Welcome, mate. How's it going? Nice to meet you. All right, Joe. You're ready to learn how to do the least amount of damage possible?

[video] 1:28 Meet you, mate. How's it going? Yeah, really well. Yeah? Looking forward to getting some training done. I'm kind of nervous. I can't lie. Have you done any MMA stuff before? Never. How's the cardio holding up? Not great either. I'm more of going gym and doing weights rather than cardio, but not bad.

1:44 He's more into pushing and pulling metal for no reason.

[video] 1:48 I'm naturally all right at cardio. I don't train cardio too often. Is the cardio pretty extreme with this then? I think from the outside looking in, cardio doesn't look that important. Conditioning doesn't. It's one of the hardest sports physically that you can do. So are you training cardio more than you are strength training, would you say? yes yeah yeah definitely definitely yeah 100 like the strength training that i do it's all like fast and explosive yeah mainly it's like cardio and conditioning yeah if you're gonna fight someone for 25 minutes yeah it's so long it's such a long time we'll get you uh we'll get you wrapped up with your hands wrapped yeah get you in some yes and they don't even question any of that why would a fight last 25 minutes that's only possible

2:27 when you learn how to do the least amount of damage possible, because that's all that MMA is about. That's all that you learn when you learn that kindergarten sport.

[video] 2:38 You're going to get changed, aren't you? I'm going to get changed. We'll get you changed, and then we'll get cracking. So we're going to start off with a bit of striking. So we're going to do like an hour-ish of striking. Let's see where you're at with that.

2:51 How can you do one hour of striking when in an actual fight it would be seconds of striking? And you would actually see the consequences of that. If you strike for an hour in MMA, usually you see nothing because you're doing nothing. It's just such a joke, the whole thing.

[video] 3:14 It's unbelievable.

[video] 3:21 And then we're going to do grappling. So fundamentals, takedowns, how to hold a position, stuff like that. Then at the end, we'll do a little test.

3:29 Yes, it's all about learning the rules because they follow rules like slaves. It's the opposite of what you should do when you fight.

[video] 3:39 Best of how you'll get on in a one minute fight with me. If we had 10 seconds, do you think that'd be enough?

[video] 3:50 What if you had a proper fight? Yeah. I'd say I might need 20. I reckon I'd get it done pretty quick, to be honest.

[video] 4:00 What would you usually do to warm up in the gym? Like, if you're lifting weights, are you doing the old stretch? I don't really do much, to be honest. If I'm doing, let's say, bench press, I'll start, like, build up the weight a little bit. So you're not doing, like, no stretching? Maybe if I'm doing legs, but that'll be, like, a bit of that, and that's it. But I assume warm-up's very important for... Yeah, I mean, especially because you're not going to be used to this kind of stuff, so you don't want to, obviously, get injured. So we'll get the heart rate up a little bit, do a little bit of stretching. Let's do it. Get some gloves on, throw some punches.

4:28 Getting the heart rate up simply means stress. And when you do sports, especially fighting sports, it doesn't really matter what kind of sports you do, you will always get your heart rate up, except if you count golf as a sport. I guess that it is officially called a sport. There, maybe you won't really get your heart rate up. I've never played it, I don't know.

[video] 4:59 What age is kind of like where most people hit their peak? Between 30 and 35, generally, I'd say. For heavyweights, for some reason, I don't know why this is, it seems to be a bit higher. Really? Yeah. I don't know why that is. The smaller guys seem to like, like I'm 33 now. Yeah. The smaller guys seem to be done by...

5:15 He's 33? Oh, yeah. I did make a video about him, but he just looks so old that all that I see is his actual biological age. He looks way older.

[video] 5:28 I like my age-ish, but the bigger guys seem to go longer. I don't know what the science is. Have you felt like you're the absolute peak you are right now? No, I feel like I've got more to go. Really? Yeah, I feel like I've got more. I reckon I'm getting better. It's weird because, like, you get smarter. You become more efficient. Yeah, but from, like, a genetic and, like, biological standpoint, 25 is the peak age for physical performance. I don't know. I don't think it is. The training. I feel like I'm in way better shape now than I was when I was 25. Really? Yeah, definitely. Yeah, fair. But I guess you get smarter, don't you? Yeah, I'll train it as well, yeah. When I was like 25, I didn't have a great diet, and I wasn't living like a proper athlete. Yeah, yeah. I don't know, I guess maybe I'm getting a bit older, and I'm like, I need to take care of myself more. I should have thought that years ago, but I don't know. I've boxed once in my life, played a clip against my best mate, and it was, we just got hated in the comments. It was f***ing just like that. I beat him, though.

6:15 Right, we're gonna start this timer off in a minute and I think we'll just do... Boxing, striking, kicking also looks so incredibly dumb because It looks so unnatural because no humans in nature have ever been recorded to kick or punch. It's completely unheard of. Only the modern slaves, not that long ago, started to actually do it. And then they created all of these stupid sports, which the slaves watch nowadays. And then they look up to these guys, such as Tom, not realizing that they are

6:54 some of the worst fighters on earth because all that they learn is how to do the least amount of damage possible plus if they would fight then they are conditioned to do that to do the least amount of damage possible the conditioning is one of the biggest problems of learning these kindergarten fighting sports like you know maybe fight five minute rounds so it's long yeah that is really long really long uh but

[video] 7:24 We'll start you off on a two minutes. Two minutes. Just so I can get a verge.

7:28 Lovely water in a plastic bottle, innit?

[video] 7:32 Like a little look.

7:46 There's two reasons why they put on the gloves. Firstly, because our hands are very fragile and it's easy to break them. And secondly, because a fight wouldn't last that long if they wouldn't use gloves, because then they would be doing a little bit more damage. It would still be nothing compared to natural fighting, but, uh, The slaves wouldn't be entertained by the circus for 25 minutes or even longer when it comes to boxing especially. It would maybe last 15 minutes.

[video] 8:29 Am I throwing kicks? I want you to throw kicks now, yeah, last 40 seconds. I've never thrown a kick in my life. Try and mix your punches in with your kicks. Mix the punches in with the kicks.

8:43 It just makes zero sense to learn this because in an actual fight, are you going to kick somebody? Why would you do that? I can think of... over 100 better things to do in a fight right away. Yet, when you're conditioned because of these kindergarten sports, you may actually end up trying to kick somebody. Just look at street fights. Many people who don't even learn how to do this just from the media start kicking and punching. When I look at 99% of the videos of street fights, that's all that I see.

9:23 And then somebody comes along and does something real and the fight ends right away.

9:35 Just imagine in a so-called natural scenario somebody throws a spear at you and somehow he doesn't hit you and he throws something else, nothing hits you, and you get close to him. And then you start kicking him or punching him. He would just laugh. He wouldn't understand what you're doing. And then he would end it. That's how simple it would be.

[video] 10:06 Even that's tiring. That's one and a half minutes.

10:08 Once you realize how brainwashed these guys are, you cannot unsee it. When you see them kicking and punching the bag, it's impossible to not see what a joke it is. But when you're caught up in it, then you just don't get it.

[video] 10:23 No, it's good. It's good. Stop being polite, Tom. We've got some work to do. We definitely got some work to do, but, mate, we can get you. Like, you're obviously a big athlete. Your coordination's all right. It's all right. Okay. It's not bad.

10:37 Yes, you can adapt your body, stress it, to learn how to be good at kicking and punching. No doubt about it. And I'm sure that Tom is good at that. But what's the point of it? To play some kind of imaginary games? To win in a tournament in your mind, because these tournaments don't exist. To win in UFC, which is in your mind, all imaginary. Just to look super old and unhealthy.

[video] 11:13 I've seen worse. I've seen worse. But the first thing is, mate, we need to sort your feet out. Because... What's wrong with my feet? They're all over the place. What are you doing when you're punching? It's like your lower body's like very stiff.

11:27 It's kind of weird that they show these images. It's as if they are showing ancient people, not ancient, but people from hundreds of years ago at least, but they would have never done that, never in a million years. There's no way that you could even convince somebody to kick and punch in a fight because it would just do no damage. And the other one would actually really fight you, Which is why they would always win.

[video] 11:56 Yeah, but nothing is happening to the bag.

12:12 I can think of one easy way to actually damage the bag within seconds, but you're just doing nothing. That alone proves everything. Think about it. How can you punch and kick, strike a bag for so long and nothing happens to it because you're doing no damage?

[video] 12:32 I've always been stiff. Like, I can't dance. I can't do anything like that. I've always been very... He can't dance. Coordination's all right, but we can definitely work on it. We can work on it. All we need to do, we need to jab my hand on your left. So get your stance, sorry. So get your left foot forward. Yeah. Your right hand in, aren't you? Yeah. Yeah, sweet. Jab that with your left hand. Hit the glove, though. That's it. That's better. Right. There we go. This video is incredibly boring.

13:11 It's painful to watch. Thankfully, it's kind of amusing because they actually believe that they are fighting. But if it wasn't for that, this would be unwatchable.

[video] 13:22 To be honest, I kind of went into it. I tried to do as little research as possible into MMA because I wanted to be like, go into it with no knowledge. But I don't know. I think it's a lot more technical than you first realize because when you just watch it on TV, it just looks like two guys just go and hammer each other.

13:40 But in reality, it doesn't look like that at all. It looks like two guys trying to not hurt each other. That's what all of the UFC fights look like.

[video] 13:52 Everything is coordinated. Every move that you do is coordinated. I guess to an extent though, right? Because you'll be in situations where

[video] 14:04 Dave put you in that situation and... I don't know, it's... It's like chess. It's like chess. Yeah, that's a very...

14:09 Yes, it is like chess. When you play chess, then you imagine that these little figures have some kind of meaning and then... You imagine that you are allowed to put them there, you're not allowed to put them there, and then you imagine that you win the game because you eliminated the other guy's figures. It's the same with MMA or any of these dumb slave fighting sports. You imagine that you are allowed to do that, and you're not allowed to do that, and you're not allowed to do almost anything when you learn these sports, because it's basically the opposite of natural fighting.

[video] 14:57 A good way to put it.

15:02 It was a very good way to put it, but I don't think that you understand it, Joe.

[video] 15:07 Right, we've done the basic boxing techniques. Done a jab, one-two, left hook, got the mechanics down, bit of footwork and stuff. Now, mate, the less popular thing that people have done, kicking. Okay. Where you kicked at, mate? Awful. Have you got any? Can't play football, so... You can't play football? Nah, I'm awful. Right. So I don't know if that has any correlation. No, I don't think so. I mean, I can't play football very well either, so... Let me just... I'll explain to you the basics of kicking. Okay. When you kick, unlike a football, you don't want to kick with your foot. Okay.

15:37 if you can help it because there's a lot of small bones in your foot and it can break pretty easy exactly and the other bones can also break pretty easily same with your hands the fingers that just says everything and they don't get it so you want to be kicking like the bottom of your shin

[video] 16:01 And you want to, like, the general rule is the hardest part of my shin needs to hit the softest part of your leg, which is easier said than done. Right. So, like, if I'm kicking you, especially in a fight without shin pads, I'm trying to place it really good because I don't want to kick you and break my foot. You've done it yourself. Yeah, I've done it so many times.

16:16 Yes, it's very easy for that to happen. And that's why I would never be afraid of somebody kicking or punching me. Just never. I would always laugh. And actually, I've been in those kind of situations.

[video] 16:28 I've actually had a fight where a guy kicked me, I blocked it, and he broke his leg on my block. Really? I'll show you a video of that in a minute. Play the clip. Yeah, play the clip. Play the clip. The toll that kind of fight has taken on him. Oh! And he's broken his leg. Oh, my goodness.

16:41 It can be... Right, exactly.

16:51 But why would you learn to do the least amount of damage possible at all? Why even bother with any of this? If you're dumb enough to do it as a sport for money, some symbols, money doesn't exist, then... Obviously, I find it super stupid, but I could understand if you're very gullible and naive, but why would anybody else do that? There's just no point because if there's an actual threat, why would you learn how to do the least amount of damage possible?

[video] 17:25 Nice. The coordination looks better than it did at the beginning.

17:36 dumb. I could never take it seriously. It's impossible. Why would anybody learn this? Nobody should learn how to kick and punch. Just nobody. It's the most useless thing you can learn in general, not only when it comes to fighting. When it comes to fighting anyway, it's the worst thing you can do. But just in general, in your life, Even learning how to clean windows is so much more useful than this. With this, you cannot do anything in actual real fights. Nice.

[video] 18:15 Mate, it's a lot better. It's a lot better. Your coordination seems to have improved already. It's actually really enjoyable. It's good. Mate, it's loads better, but I want you to feel it. I want you to feel what a kick feels like, just so you can appreciate it a little bit. You can give me an excuse not to train legs. Let's go just like a 30% there. No, it's painful, mate. And that's with pads on as well. The difference with and without pads is ridiculous. Like, the pads give you so much protection. Without the pads, it's so painful. I can't even tell you how painful it is. But how do you condition your body to do that? That's what I don't know. Because you can build muscle, right? Yeah, yeah. But that won't... You did that to a bodybuilder, it would still really hurt them. Of course it would. Yeah, yeah. So how do you condition your body to... Mate, well, I've been getting kicked for 20 years. But what, like, biologically builds up the part... Getting kicked.

18:56 Right, and again, that says everything. Could you actually... sustain 20 years of real damage or even 20 minutes? Impossible. Not even really 20 seconds. 20 seconds would be the end of you. But when it comes to kicking, you can just kick, kick, kick. It doesn't matter. You can punch and kick for 20, 30, 50 years because you're doing nothing, because it's a joke. And he just keeps admitting it.

19:30 Are you getting that glamorous microwave on, Steve? A coffee machine and a microwave. Lovely.

[video] 19:38 Wait until you see this meal. Wait until you see this. It's f***ing exotic. What is it? Turkey, mince and rice? Yeah. Banging meal. I have that all the time.

19:46 Banging meal. White little seeds with turkey. It's in plastic. It was heated up in the microwave.

[video] 19:56 Did you chuck, did you chuck Lando sauce on? No, I don't, but I might do. Mate, that's what I do, turkey mince and rice and Lando sauce. Is it yours? It's medium bit spicy for me, that. Yeah, turkey mince and rice. Mate, banging meal. Low fat, high carb. High protein. I'm starving, high protein, I'm starving.

20:09 The sauce probably has seed oils inside of it.

[video] 20:13 Diet light, then. How many calories do you eat on a day-to-day basis? At the minute, because I'm not, like, training for a fight, I'll do, like, four-ish thousand. When I'm training for a fight, like, hard, I'll do, like, six. Really? So, four-ish thousand. Is that, like, meals like that very healthy, high-protein? Yeah, pretty much. But if you want, like, a f***ing, I don't know, a rocky road, would you have that? Yeah, I would. At the minute, I would. But then when it's closer to the fight, you won't? I mean, I try not to, but you know what? I'm burning that much when it comes to...

20:37 The state of British people, they actually call white little seeds that people used to eat during famines healthy. Unbelievable, these people.

[video] 20:49 I try and keep it as clean as possible, but I do have a bit of a... Mate, you've got to enjoy your life as well, don't you?

20:55 The arsenic in the rice is not very clean, don't you agree?

[video] 21:00 At least Eddie Hall agreed to fight you. He knows that I called him out, but he would never dare to do it.

21:24 So I'm going to switch the roles.

[video] 21:25 So it's just like, it's interesting because you've never done it before. And I think people who've never done it before think that they can do it. And it's just like really difficult if you're behind technically. Like it looks quite easy on camera. Yeah, it's just not that easy. Go on then, Joe. Let's bring it on. All right. Three, two, one, go. Ten.

[video] 21:53 I hope there's no girls watching this. I stand no chance. Absolutely no chance. I put as much force as I could there. But you just, you untie me like a rope. It's a skill in it, definitely.

[video] 22:07 The moment you, but not I, have been waiting for. The fight. The joke. Waiting for 60 seconds with the UFC heavyweight champion, Tom Aspinall.

22:16 Ooh, let's go back.

22:31 Look at those dark eye circles. Why did you do that to yourself? Just to learn how to kick and punch?

22:48 You can also tell that he grew up on proper British food.

[video] 22:53 Right, these are the rules. We're going to do no head contact, body sparring, punches, kicks, takedowns.

23:19 this is all super dumb there's so much that you could do in these situations if you wouldn't be so brainwashed to not do anything which is what they call fighting

23:56 very weird positions. I'm sure that a lot of these guys do these sports to, you know what,

[video] 24:27 Quite strong, as if that's how you can measure somebody's strength. I guess that he's delusional enough to believe that.

[video] 24:55 Scary, but obviously Tom's not going.

24:57 Obviously, just to be clear, this is the very opposite of strength because strength is you doing what you want to do. It's your true wild self. This is the very, very opposite of that. It is the definition of weakness.

[video] 25:13 Too tough on me. So it's actually quite fun when I was actually doing it. I can imagine that when you're actually getting punched, it's not as fun.

[video] 25:27 They really do believe that it's tough, but once you snap out of the delusion, you will realise that it's a sport for weak and dumb slaves.

25:54 And that's because you need to be weak to kick and punch somebody in a fight instead of doing what you really want to do. And you need to be dumb to want to learn how to do the least amount of damage possible. And you need to grow up as a slave to fall for any of this. The media has brainwashed most men on Earth to not harm anybody if they do get into a fight. And it's very easy to figure out why they did that. Thanks for watching.